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Alcohol

It's in her eyes, it's on her breath

If she keeps doing this she will end up dead

She keeps consuming her alcohol

She does it to get away, to withdraw

But it will only create a bigger flaw

I've tried to tell her it isn't right

But she doesn't like people giving their insights

She says it makes her happy, takes her to a better place

But little by little her addiction starts to show on her face

I wish she wouldn't act this way

I wish she could patch herself up before it's too late

She is a pretty girl, a teenager who still has a future

But she is also an alcohol abuser

I've done what I can, I've nothing left to say

It's in her hands now, she needs to find her own way

She is family and it's hard to believe

Alcohol is the only thing that can set her free

All I can do is hope and pray

That she throws that next drink away

Keyword: Alcohol

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Comments (17)

Posted by cookingWine 2008-03-16 10:56:40 .... A lot of unnecessary words shot it for me. "little by little her addiction shows on her face": it's starting if it's little by little, if it's little by little, it's starting. redundancy. just cut the words that really don't have to be there and it will help. and get a drink. + Report this comment
Posted by lorislittlesecret 2008-03-16 10:58:16 .... I dunno if the extra words are unneccesary. Sometimes poetry needs to be redundant. That's the point of poetry. Alcoholism is a touchy subject...especially for a teenager. Good job... + Report this comment
Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-03-16 11:06:59 .... yes i appreciate your comment loris. uh but to cooking wine i'm not cutting out any words. that's absurd. this poem expresses my grief and i don't need to make it better for anyone. + Report this comment
Posted by b.k. 2008-03-16 11:16:08 .... wow i can definitely relate...more so with drugs than alcohol, but they kind ofgo hand in hand anyway. well written! + Report this comment
Posted by cookingWine 2008-03-16 11:35:11 .... take it how you want to take it. just offering a second pair of eyes. to shun, is to be absurd. + Report this comment
Posted by R.E.Potter 2008-03-16 12:56:31 ,,, well said, like it the way it is also. + Report this comment
Posted by gsaracen 2008-03-16 14:35:30 .... man...I'm AFRAID of alcohol and drugs. Because I am the addict type. I am a pathological procrastinator, and I relapse into my smoking habit every two months after giving up. I don't touch alcohol. lol. Am no even mormon. ;) NEVER gonna touch any drug stronger than caffiene...not even pot... I can't trust myself. + Report this comment
Posted by 1800 2008-03-16 15:07:07 .... I have no interest in alcohol. Look at how terribly it affects a person. Waste of money, waste of time, waste of brain cells. Then you got these idiots who drive drunk. On top of that if you drink too much you get a nasty hangover. Yeah, really sounds like fun. + Report this comment
Posted by gsaracen 2008-03-16 19:04:43 .... redundancy for the sake of rythm or verbal aesthetic or flow is perfectly ok. + Report this comment
Posted by Tarhead Mugwump 2008-03-17 00:39:48 well done i come from a long chain of drinkers - i broke the chain at the age of 21... bad stuff alcohol + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-03-17 18:50:31 .... Very true, especially for teenagers these days, binge drinking to fit in but continuing on with the habit to continue the happy feelings, the escape. + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-03-22 01:00:56 .... drinking makes you drunk + Report this comment
Posted by Captain Morgen 2008-03-23 17:34:56 .... I think you have some really great ideas in there...spoken truly and honestly...but I agree with cooking wine, there are some extra words in there at if removed, could help the overall sound and experience of reading it. + Report this comment
Posted by Captain Morgen 2008-03-23 17:36:38 .... *sorry got a little spelling error in there...eek. It should be "there are some extra words in there that if removed" ...and so on. :) + Report this comment
Posted by Eternitiesheart 2008-03-29 21:37:34 .... i like this one alot....i can understand fully from personal experiences with family members and alcohol abuse....one of them is still dealing with this and wont come to terms with the fact its happening. i'm glad to see this poem. ^_^ + Report this comment
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