Unexpected

Login

Affiliated Resource

Bookmark Us

Ready to join our community and share your stories?

Create an Account

Written by Robert Quintin Penn
Thursday, 13 March 2008

Never had I expected what would occur to me from July of 07 until now. Some things would be grand, others would be downright terrible, but what exactly am I saying. Well, I'll sum it up for you.

First, I drove out to meet an old friend in California, and got to stay at a fine hotel, but all the deep Sun's rays, along with the smell of the nearby ocean could not drown out his demise, nor my own.

To another hotel I went, this time to simply cause a man to suffer a terrible death at the hands of a vengeful spirit. It was not that good.

Afterwards, I abducted a woman with the help of extra terrestrial beings. It did not work out as well as planned.

Following that I entered into the mind of a young boy, giving him nightmares, and eventually ending in his death. Do you see a pattern here?

In Egypt I found the remains of a Martian, eventually leading to some of the greatest discoveries of the 21^st century.

Then I boarded a train full of zombies and took out as many as I could, even though I am out there with higher-ups on my tail. Resident Evil 0? No!

Still, I ended up assigning a man to kill an innocent woman, a woman who just happened to be praying, causing him to go into a deep depression. The lives I have ruined, the lives I have taken, all within the name of entertainment. Of storytelling.

I wrote about how I would run a school system with better punishment. Fortunately, it'll never happen as I see it.

But the greatest travesty was when I burned down a man's apartment, killing his family, and leaving him with nothing, all of this on Christmas Eve. God have mercy on me for such a terrible act of brutality.

Nonetheless, I described the events as I saw them of a ship travelling through space and time, causing some of the worst possible things to occur to man.

Still my best job was where I was an amateur hitman, only to have the hit go awry when my intended victim broke the lens in my scope with her high voice.

I killed a young girl's dog while her parents were out, and had a complete stranger lick her hand, and ultimately getting the little girl too. Damn kids.

Of zombies I've faced, and madmen I have murdered, nothing scared me more than the one enemy I thought I would never encounter: the vampire. Worst yet, a vampire who was still quite young. And of the opposite sex. Now that was truly horrifying, becoming such a terrible being, destined to spend my life in the dark, never to see a cross or the Sun again without consequence.

But then I got to kill her, I got to kill that little vampire bitch and all was well. I assume.

Of course, the zombies came back for me, and even though I muttered quotes from the bible, they lack intelligence, so they are not all the different from some of today's congregations. Just kidding.

I sent a man and a woman into space, only to have the woman die, and the man all alone. The thing is, she was not dead, she was still out there, and whoops! Another dead man!

To get my mind off it, I went to a baseball game with my friend, only to have a baseball knock me out and a paramedic give me mouth to mouth resuscitation...and some tongue.

Then I was hiding under my bed from a great vampire, coming to feast upon my arteries and veins. Only I had German firepower; he did not.

Now is it not terrible that I sent a poor German woman to a possible death? I sent a blind man out to give her a letter, to send her to a butcher, and to have a few more pounds of sustenance into the public. But no! She was too smart. She went to the police and saved her skin. Meanwhile kids are starving in the street.

Using the chimes of a grandfather clock, I removed the life force from an elderly man, as if he was getting shot, only to fall and pass on with the twelfth chime.

Unfortunately I got married to a blonde. Unfortunately I happened to smoke cigarettes. Long story short I got my ass burnt to a crisp.

But there was something that I have not done. Something that no one else could do. I told my own story. I actually wrote a piece of non fiction. And lo and behold, I am a strange person, I am autistic to say, and I am by no means, “normal”.

So I decided to tell another piece of non-fiction of my travel over the continental United States at over three-hundred miles an hour. Of course, something about being in a confined space with a female of child bearing age can cause adverse affects on one's judgment. Still, it makes me laugh thinking back on it.

Using what weapons knowledge I had, I had constructed a situation involving two German scouts looking for a careless soldier's lost gear, only to be taken out almost artistically by a disciplined Russian sniper.

Looking at my Driver's Permit, I saw the little heart and the words “organ donor” beside them, and a horrible thought came to mind. I would send a drunk man to a hospital, only to have him die for the sake of giving his organs for the needy. So much blood.

So while I never actually killed a man, I never left this country, I never been to an inn called Hotel California, and I never shot someone out of self defense, I have written about it. I have simply taken an amalgamation of images and sounds from within my mind, typed them into words, and made stories, which the events described, are real in the realm of fiction, unless otherwise stated. Now it is time for me to send Klaus to stop a Russian convoy of tanks and universal carriers...