Days of End (Mans past...Mans future ), Chapter 3

Trickles of light filtered in through the capsules...

Day of Revelation

The apocalypse hovered over their bodies as the two...

Only Human


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Written by Nate Stanford   
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
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Only Human

By Nate Stanford 

 I have suffered
I have witnessed
I have crossed paths
with defeat

but still
I remain strong

I have wavered
I have been pushed
to my limits
I have fallen

but still
I get back up

by myself
I leaped far
but it took two
to go all the way

but still
I am alone

I am persistent
I keep going
I do not accept
failure

but still
I do not win

stopping
Is not something
I would do.
but the failure
to move on
has killed me

but why?
I am only human



Copyright 2008 Nate Stanford
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Comments (20)
Posted by nick711
2008-03-12 14:58:06
great!

great! has rythm and a good flow.
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Posted by nick711
2008-03-12 14:58:58
....

Thanks
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Posted by gsaracen
2008-03-12 15:01:17
sorry

that was me above. ID switch.

Admins, I actually had edit/delete permission on this user's poem, that is a serious and HUGE security breach. Basically I am relying on the goodwill of my fellow users not to trash my account if they are accidentally logged into my account. Please DO something?
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Posted by gsaracen
2008-03-12 15:03:29
you talk to yourself?

Well...yer a poet.... what can I expect. ;)
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Posted by R.E.Potter
2008-03-12 15:36:02
,,,

good poem with meaning.
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Posted by gsaracen
2008-03-12 15:57:31
I agree

has meaning. meaning that most humans can agree with or understand.

Not just random or pretencious. keep it up!!
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Posted by nick711
2008-03-12 16:02:54
Thanks

Thanks everybody.

Do you have any advice for future poems?
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Posted by R.E.Potter
2008-03-12 16:07:15
,,,

for one...nothing explicit ...lol
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Posted by gsaracen
2008-03-12 16:19:48
....

there's a thread in the forum on the explicit issue... some guideline suggestions posted there too....

Yeah advice... the thing about poetry is it is 50% message and 50% form. (in my view...)

So flow, rythm, rhyme (if you want), and the "feel" of a verse really matters.

Sometimes you can delay a point or line you want to put in and put it in later... to achieve a rhyme in the "near term"... you dig?

A thesaurus can help LOADS with poetry. try thesaurus.com

This is just my gen advice I give to myself. your poem was not lacking.
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Posted by nick711
2008-03-12 16:58:32
....

Thanks for the help. I actually just wrote another one with your advice in mind.
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Posted by celtic1888
2008-03-13 10:39:31
Very good

I really enjoyed that evfen if I dont know much about poetry. I found it sad but full of hope, well done.
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Posted by Dirkin
2008-03-15 00:50:34
....

very good
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Posted by extinct kiddo
2008-03-16 13:59:32
Wow.

Nice poem.

It's very popular.

Keep writing. (:
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Posted by E.Dover
2008-03-17 16:28:09
....

No offense, but I didn't like it at all.
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Posted by nick711
2008-03-17 19:15:28
....

ouch.
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 12 March 2008 )
 
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