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I wrote this poem and had RE Potter look it over. ...

If The Sun Didn't Rise

IF THE SUN DIDN'T RISE BY JON STALK...

Moon Bird
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Written by Anna DeVine   
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
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Moon Bird



I dreamt I was a little bird
That taught myself to fly
My first attempt I hit the ground 
But I refused to cry

 I shook it off and flapped my wings
Until I got it right
With nothing left to hold me back
I flew into the night

I realized that gravity 
Could not hold on to me
And so I flew towards the moon 
Since Earth had set me free

It took a while to reach the moon
It's pretty far from here
And from the moon I saw the Earth
So beautiful and clear 

I told the moon about my dreams
That I had left at home 
And that it was the only place 
Where my true heart could roam 

You better go before you wake 
Came as the moon's reply
And little bird, remember this-
You taught yourself to fly

When I awoke I smiled at you 
Then whispered in your ear,
'You should fly to the moon
It's not that far from here'

 







Copyright 2008 Anna DeVine
Keyword: Flight
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Comments (6)
Posted by June Eclipsis
2008-03-12 10:52:18
Beautiful

I'm bad with rhyming poems. I mean, I can rhyme them, but I focus too much on what rhymes with orange that I can't get my creativity going.
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Posted by tarhead mugwump
2008-03-12 13:36:40
it's a shame

the without waking up, it cannot be a dream...

well done!
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Posted by tarhead mugwump
2008-03-12 13:38:23
hmm

if thou wouldst swap a that for the the, then the sentence would have a better ring.
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Posted by gsaracen
2008-03-12 14:53:36
great!

what a dream....and how lucky to remember it! Most of the time children get to have dreams this....dreamy....adults forget where they've been when they wake up.
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Posted by resistanceisfreedom
2008-03-13 17:29:17
Loved it

this was incredible! the rhyming was great and i loved the whole dream. a bird that taught itself to fly.
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Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-07-28 15:57:39
....

Oh my ...

... Moon Bird ...

This one always puts a smile on my face.

I think it is really good.

I also think the way to begin the Poem sucks the reader in. A real gripping stanza hehe.

Keep well!!!
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