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Confessions in the produce aisle


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Written by Amie Kerlin   
Monday, 10 March 2008
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          He could just barely see her over the stacks of Fuji apples he was stacking carefully. She was pretty enough for him to notice her every time she came into the store. He watched her as she chose tomatoes, celery, and broccoli crowns from the vegetable end of the produce section. He always worked at the fruit end, and it bothered him that the tomatoes were placed down the vegetable end, even though they were really fruit. He kept one eye on her as she moved along the produce and around the adjacent bread aisle. She would be coming to his end soon. He had been going over in his head what he would say to her. Maybe this was the day he would tell her. This could be the day that changed it all. She was now near the bananas, so close but not close enough. She twisted the bag and placed the bananas in her cart and then pushed her way past the naval oranges and tangelos. She saw him then and smiled up at him as she approached the apple section. Tearing another plastic bag from the roll at the end of the stand and shaking it open, she reached for the green Granny Smith apple bin. “This is it,” he whispered to himself, “This is the day I tell her.” He abruptly grabbed onto her elbow just as she was selecting the first apple, “Excuse me miss,” he told her, “I’ve seen you every time you come here when I’m working and I have something to tell you.” She looked up at him dropping the apple she had just chosen to the floor. She felt her eyes widen in fear, because she had noticed him watching her every time she came shopping and it gave her the creeps. Glancing down at his firm grip on her elbow, she swallowed audibly once and said, “What is it?” He glanced over his shoulder once and tightened his grasp slightly. Bending forward until his mouth was close to her ear, he whispered, “Do you realize that you have a horribly long hair growing just under your chin? Its all I can focus on when I see you and its rather disturbing. The tweezers are on aisle 9.” Then he released her and nodded his head twice and smiled at her. He had done it. Now he could stop having the nightmares.



Copyright 2008 Amie Kerlin
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Comments (11)
Posted by thirteen
2008-03-10 13:44:49
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She should of punched the dick in the head.But anyway I liked the end, I thought it was a lovey dovey ending but nice surprise.Nice.
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Posted by lemon
2008-03-10 13:54:48
haha!

yeah I thought about writing her reaction to his comment, but it was a bit sillier without it. And this story is nothing if not silly :)
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Posted by tarhead
2008-03-10 17:06:38
well then

yeah, rude dude...

but good misdirection.
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Posted by cookingWine
2008-03-10 20:44:57
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that was kind of worth it, i guess. is what it is, and not a whole lot more. suppose in many situations that's a good thing.
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Posted by SageSyren
2008-04-23 12:38:47
OMG

The ending was hilarious. Loved it
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Posted by Something Indecent
2008-05-21 14:50:20
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HA! I loved it! That was great misdirection! That was classic when he told her the tweezers were on aisle 9. The last sentence was great. "Now he could stop having the nightmares." lol Good piece.
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Posted by eloquent atrament
2008-05-25 14:37:05
Haha...

The guy should have added how she is slowly killing the world with every little veggie bag she tears from to place her peoduce in. Nice twist on the chin hair. Didn't see that coming.
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Posted by Dirkin
2008-05-27 00:22:25
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I think people can tell when your not looking them in the eye, because your eyes are drawn to something like that. I always cant help focusing on monobrows. Funny story
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Posted by philneale1952
2008-05-30 03:36:37
Silliness

Silliness is my favourite.....keep the ball rolling.

Phil
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Posted by Dr Lucifer
2008-06-30 09:26:03
Clever

I loved it.
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Posted by Zombie Punk
2008-07-06 20:43:44
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Hahahahaha! funny. as everyone else said, great misdirection. i thought he was going to confess his love to her or something. never saw the chin hair coming. the tweezers are on aisle 9 ha!

funny story, really.
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