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Inside |
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| Written by Yahaira Nunez | |
| Thursday, 06 March 2008 | |
| Last Updated ( Friday, 11 April 2008 ) |
"Go deeper."
"Here?"
"No, go in further. Do you see it?"
"No, I don't think so... wait... I think... Yes! I see it! Gees, what is it?"
"Malevolent creature is what it is. It intends to make my cranium burst, you know. It's always shoving and pushing; squirming and swerving. I used to think it would create a dent on my forehead. And the dent would look like a horn. Oh man, I said to myself, I'll have to wear a hat. I hate hats. They always make my hair look so flat."
"Lola would you like me to try to extract the organism."
"Just make sure it isn't holding on to my eyes."
"What?"
"Yes, it's always gnawing on them from behind. It's why I have to wear glasses."
"O.K. Try to hold as still as you can." He stuck a contraption here and a metal thing there. Searching... unearthing.
"What was your name again?"
"Adil."
"That's right. Adil. Do you have any pets Adil?"
"No, I'm afraid not."
"I have two. A cat and a bird."
"Really?"
"Yes. The cat is much too self-interested. And the bird laughs at me maniacally on a daily basis. Annoying things, really. Don't ever get a cat or bird. Get a dog. I know I should've gotten a dog. I'd pick up his mess, but he'd pick up mine."
"Lola?"
"Yes?"
"When did the pain start?"
"Since childhood I suppose. It was a deafening pulse at first; and then it started beating. Beating, beating and beating. Agh! It was incessant. I felt my brain grow double its size; swelling, enlarging, inflating. I was convinced it would explode. I worried. I haven't backed up my brain's hard disk, I thought. My memories, convictions, and sentiments they would be lost and irretrievable. It was then that I felt the creature. I could feel him gag. I could feel streams of puke circulating my brain. That is when I started to throw up. My throat burns most of the time because of that."
"Oh my god."
"What!"
"Lola did you ever swim in a lake or river as a child? Sometime near when you started to get your headaches?"
"No... I don't think so. I didn't like swimming as a child. I've almost drowned about 3 or 4 times."
"O.K. was it in a lake or river on any of those occasions?"
"Yes. The first time. It was on a school field trip to the wilderness. There were about 90 kids there. I was reaching over a boulder to get my hiking stick. I had dropped it into the water. I leaned over too far and fell in. A heavy-set, and rather round teacher had to jump in and save me. So much fuss. People were awkward towards me after the incident."
"Well, that explains it."
"What do you mean?"
He held it out in front of Lola.
"A leech?"
"Yeah, must have crawled inside your ear."
"But that doesn't sound right."
"Well... It's dead; and it has been for years. Brain fluid must have moved him around quite a bit.
"Wretched blight. Ruined my afternoons is what it did."
"What is it you do in the afternoons?"
"I don't know yet. Damn, persistent animal had me nailed to the bed nearly my entire life.
"O.K. I've sewn you up."
"Thank you... uhh..."
"Bassam."
"Yeah, right. Bassam."
"Have a good day."
"Yes, thank you. A leech, eh?"
"That is correct."
"Hmph. I think I'll go home then. Yes, I need to feed the cat and fish."
Comments (14) |
 03-06-2008 10:36, This is one of those stories that gives me a feeling of aaahhh!!!Nice dialogue.My dad used to warn me about earwigs when i was a child, when we went camping. » Reply to this comment...  03-06-2008 16:39, "Hey the food ain't that bad baby!" "ARRGGHHHH!!!" "Don't touch it!" *growl* Alien was such a great film. Did you ever hear about that amoeba in lakes that eats at your brains? Creepy stuff. » Reply to this comment...  03-06-2008 17:06, Well. Not my favorite, but not the worst. If you had fun, that's what it's all about though. All-dialogue stories tend to have problems with me, unless they are tuned to a very, very fine pitch. » Reply to this comment...  03-06-2008 23:12, just make sure it isn't holding on to my eyes... i like that, and this... » Reply to this comment...  03-07-2008 18:28, I like it. Short sentences. Very lyrical. I like how it sounds in my head. Another Hemingway (read Quintin's). Ever try Faulkner? With long sentences. OR Gabriel Garcia Marquez? "One Hundred Years in Solitude". » Reply to this comment...  03-10-2008 05:16, Cool. A good way of explaining unexplained headaches.... » Reply to this comment...  03-11-2008 18:14, Imagine finding out that was there all that time. But really that doctor should hav followed up with an appointment with a psychiatrist: "I felt my brain grow double its size; swelling, enlarging, inflating. I was convinced it would explode. I worried. I haven't backed up my brain's hard disk, I thought. My memories, convictions, and sentiments they would be lost and irretrievable. It was then that I felt the creature. I could feel him gag. I could feel streams of puke circulating my brain. That is when I started to throw up. I would sometimes converse with the toilet. My mother thought me an actress" I'd be worried the leech had her mental with statements like that! well done pez » Reply to this comment... » See all 2 replie(s)  03-13-2008 16:38, What an interesting story. Sorry it took me so late to comment, I feel ashamed as it is, but I enjoy ones that make me think. So, to start I thought the dialogue was extremely enjoyable making it a fun read. Even though the event was a rare one it seemed very realistic. One of my favorite parts would probably be when referring the brain to a computer needing to be back up. As well as that the ending was excellent. It made me think back to the pets part rather than just reading over it. (By the way, I noticed the realistic events) Nice one. » Reply to this comment...  03-15-2008 17:01, brought a lot of imagery to mind! Had me imagining. A leech! If only migraines were so easily explainable and solveable. Conscious neurosurgery was a hoot too! Really describes headaches of a certain kind well. Love the japanimation profile pic too btw. hey...what's up with the mid east names? :) » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s) 03-24-2008 11:57, good story.... reminded me in a way of the hitchcock short when the man had to be straped to his bed as an ear bug ate his way from one ear to the other...right thru his brain..he made it thru the ordeal only to find out that the bug was female and gave birth to hundred of those buggers inside his brain while it made its journey....now that would suck. » Reply to this comment...  04-10-2008 07:14, Fantastic comes to mind... I don't have a headache, or do I? Thanks for the work! » Reply to this comment...  04-10-2008 14:13, All-dialogue stories always intrigue me... anyway, this gave me chills. It feels sort of incomplete to me, but I think that's because I like knowing the whole story instead of having it be left up to me. This reminds me of those bleak stories set in the future where everything's horrible but no one really realizes it because it's been that way for so long. I'm def going to read all your stuff now :3 because it's too amazing to ignore. » Reply to this comment... 04-15-2008 00:45, the profile game, and came upon this story again... and when i got to the part that says, "Just make sure it isn't holding on to my eyes." - i smiled again. some sentences you just don't expect to see or hear in life, and when one pops up - it's pleasant. smile! » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s)  04-21-2008 11:58, wow another piece with such an unusaul and different idea. a leech, i have to admit that kinda disgusted me. i couldn't even imagine having something like that in your brain. so sick. but i really enjoyed this. although i have to say, the downside of this would be all of these gross images of leeches in my head that i will have for awhile. haha i hope i forget about them soon. » Reply to this comment... |
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