The Spiders and Johnny Bailes

The greenfly were the first to vanish, and the...

Something Cat

Something Cat Cats. They were everywhere....


There Are Many Ways (This Not Being One).


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Written by Nunyo Bidness   
Sunday, 02 March 2008
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    We need to re-acquaint, he says to her before class, about as nervous and about as ripe as it's going to get there under that Wednesday morning tree. The morning was still and thick. The sun was behind clouds but it wasn't dark. Her eyes told it all, that she wasn't quite sure what he was doing here. In reality, she knew exactly what he was doing. But she didn't say anything and he kept going.
    I'm a liar, he says, without much of a change in tone or expression. He talks in a bland voice and slowly, like the words were written down for him already. I tell people I don't smoke but I do, he continues, and I don't always wash my hands after using the restroom, but I try to. His folder drops to the ground and he follows it, sitting on the grass and leaning against the tree. It was his favorite kind of morning and nobody could take it away from him. He looks at her directly for the first time since they begun talking.
   But above all, he says, I was lying when I said it was nice to meet you, because I'm not content with anything lower than getting a cup of coffee. He kept gazing off, maybe into the sky, maybe at something closer, she couldn't tell. But there he was, propped against that tree, almost sunk into the ground, and there wasn't much to say against that.
    The classroom door opens. She gets into the crowd of others at the door. Shorter, and she still sticks out. Distinct, and menicingly so. He keeps sitting. Not now. One day, he mumbles, and begins waiting for the next perfect morning.


Copyright 2008 Nunyo Bidness
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Comments (5)
Posted by hopeless
2008-03-02 23:04:15
short and sweet

I do like it. Nice work.
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Posted by tarhead
2008-03-02 23:28:24
interesting

character choices. the whole thing was a little surreal and i'm not sure if he is the uni-bomber feeling threatened and delivering a subtle warning or somebody smitten that lacks creativity...

the choice of dialog was also interesting and different.

which, in my twisted mind, is a good thing...
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Posted by R.E.Potter
2008-03-03 19:38:28
,,,

Missed this one,,they go by so fast on the home page. Cool story, a little hard to understand whats going on, but thats probally my lack of ability. I thought the way you worded the story was good...if that makes any sense.
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Posted by PKLytle
2008-03-07 08:22:16
....

Nice deception. I also like how the girl "sticks out" to the boy--taunting him--, even though she should be swallowed by the crowd.
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Posted by Egoist
2008-03-10 21:15:23
....

I feel as though he thinks more about the surrounding than her, which makes her taunting in a sense. The word use was extraordinary. For how short it was, I feel as though in real life it would take two minutes for the entire thing to take place--it's still good of course.

I didn't get so much imagery out of this one as I did the last, but there seemed to be something else that replaced that. Another perfect.
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