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zoom In on a turnback world |
| Written by jonas R/F | |
| Saturday, 01 March 2008 | |
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I am a tremendou creation. I can steal a soul with only my eyes. Then I can chizzle their flesh into an ideal form. A tremendous spirit. Exactly what I do is mutilate beauty. The photos I take are then altered with bleach and wild colours. But bodies can be assembled and are capable of so many memories. Though fate will choose which are saved in time. You must be in a destined space in time to flesh out the glory of our sadness or joy. And if possible, snap it using self-mastered crafts. Everyone despises crooks & criminals, yet they posess more beauty than most.How simple minded members of the populous can be somehow ruined by big people. Its so simply unfair. And glorious. They need their lives recreated, reproclaimed. But its impossible for some. There doesn't seem to be a point in their existence. But if you let the time come, they'll show in some way, the light that can radiate from their bodies. Like my father. He was destroyed thanks to a bribed judge & jury of pawns. All of whom found him a money laundering bastard. He wasn't really. But the court gave him the bill no matter what evidence came through. He actually smiled for the first time in a long time when his good buddy came forward to spoil the defendent's image. He was murdered the day before his words were to be released. My father cried in my presence for the first time i could remember. He told me he loved me and we hugged. I choked and felt like I would suffocate as I sobbed. It wasn't fair. This happened again after he was given his thirty year sentence. Outside the court I jumped through an audience of many. There he was covering himself not wanting humiliation. He saw me and teared up in a really intense manner. He picked me up in his arms and hugged me saying this his love never ever leave. His arms let go and he struggled with stepping anymore. I knew to walk away. It felt like such a long time was being stolen in the slowest possible pace. Then a man snapped my father's final wave with my hands in my face. I was only a cub but I knew the very same photo published in the paper was immense. Like the cold darkness of what was happening was being spattered by an unstoppable warm. It was stopped soon after when he hanged himself in prison. My life was blessed with a mom who would be able to love me as much. My New Years Resoulution would be against hurting people. That caused me to lose popularity. And I didnt have much as it was. There were alot of girls I had crushes on, but I could never get anywhere. It was quiet at home and my docial skills weren't strong. As I grew they would be with others, some constantly shifting. It made less sense to feel the need to be with these shape-shifters. I'd be nothing. But it burned so strong for this one girl. Her name was ___ and her face was such a distressing thing. She smiled and I felt ot more. I could make the class occasionally laugh and then i'd look and she'd been touched as well. It sank me. She sank me. I cried trying to sleep but thinking of my chances. They seemed so low. Sex was scary and luckily she wasn't one of the girls who were interested. She was as smart and beautiful as I grew unstable. My grades slipped. Everyone seemed to care about other people's emotions less. It seemed like such a fantasy world. Her out of place popularity scared me as much. She'd be embaressed to be with such a joke. I'd care for her to at least have a peaceful life. Nothing cleared. My daily situation was the same. It was impossible to make things work. Eventually she found somebody to be with. A smarter guy with a more outgoing personality, I wanted to die, and eventually questioned anybody's need for me. And whether there was anyone I truly needed. Nobody needed me and if that is so, then why would I need anyone? Im a stupid person for caring so much. My crush had to end. But it couldnt no matter what cons I'd etched in my head. Life happened on too regular a basis. then i die. Copyright 2008 jonas R/F |
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