The Duel of Ten Thousand Insults and Seven Pieces of Pie

"So I was thinking Mr. Yasac...where did you get this ship! It's bloody amazing we have gone this far with such a small crew!" Scarlet said to Yasac who was sitting on the bulwarks.

          "Aye...there's a good amount of history to this ship. A real technological masterpiece." Yasac said squinting away the sun.

Chives shouted from high in the crow's nest "Ship! Dead ahead looks like a flewt!"

Yasac strode to the bow of the ship and peered out across the sea, a Spanish flag flew above the small craft. Scarlet joined him and pulled her spyglass from her pocket and while looking through her monocular she saw that the crew on the deck they were throwing a man over board.

Yasac gave a look through as well, and to his surprise he saw that the poor soul was one he recognized!

"Trigger!" Yasac yelled under his breath. "Captain! That vessel, we must board it!" Yasac explained to Scarlet alarmed.

"Uh...alright, go for it Yasac..." Scarlet said sarcastically. "Seriously Yasac, we can't just take over a ship with four people!"

"Maybe not...but what people don't know won't kill them...or at least, I won't." Yasac said with a grin. "Trust me, it isn't the first time. We just need Jane and Chives in the cannon room and Ayafre to raise a sail. You're a pirate we have a skull and cross bones right?"

"It was your ship first..." Scarlet reminded Yasac

"Oh...yeah."

"Well we need some food anyway and I suppose if that poor fellow is a friend of yours...it sounds like a worthy claim...Avast! Ye dogs, all hands on deck! Twist haired Jane get on those sails! Mr. Chives prepare Cannon! Bring me that ship!

So the Mañana pulled up close beside the ship. The crew on board halted their festivities of throwing their prisoner overboard and gaze on to the Mañana approaching

"Ahoy! Ye Spaniards, am I interrupting you drowning of this poor fellow?" Scarlet shouted to the other captain.

The man who was firmly in the hands of about five men who were still struggling to restrain him saw Yasac and gave a smirk and proceeded to shout,

"Yasac...how very nice of you to stop by, care to join the party?" the man said with false confidence but relief.

"Quick Trigger Revloc...where would you be without me Revloc?"

"I'd be a content old man ya tiz!"

Quick Trigger Revloc was young and strong armed. He had a fair face for a sailor, his thin black hair hung to his ears; he wore a brown vest and white shirt and had a thin mustache around his lips along with prominent sideburns.

The nervous captain finally answered Scarlet "Uh yes...quiet you Trigger! And who are you and where do you hail from? Scarlet smiled and motioned to Twist Haired Jane who was leaning on the mast. Ayafre quickly wrapped her hand around a rope and raised their Jolly Roger flag. The Captain's eyes grew wide with fear as he saw the dreaded flag raised.

 "Now that I have your attention... you don't happen to have any food? Do you? Scarlet inquired.

The captain paused and examined Scarlet's crew.

          "Is...this all of your crew?" The captain inquired suspiciously

Scarlet's face started to turn pale. Scarlet started to say something, when all the sudden, one of the Manana's cannons fired and shot a hole in the flewt.

          "Hey ya bloody git! It don't take much to sink a flewt I hear" Chives roared from within the cannon deck.

"See the rest of the crew is sound asleep, ye don't make us fearful." Scarlet explained

Yasac silently chuckled, "Fast asleep in the unemployment bar in Spain." Yasac muttered under his breath.

The captain fell for the roose and nodded his head in surrender

Scarlet had the small enemy crew remove a good amount of their food stores and cargo to pack onto the Mañana. Scarlet was nice enough to leave them with enough food for the journey home, but not quite nice enough to leave them with their valuables. Yasac not one to forget a friend, easily "Negotiated" Revloc's release. And with that Yasac brought Quick Trigger Revloc onto their ship and the Mañana sailed off to Ireland.

Now with all the food recently plundered, the merry band of six prepared to feast. The Mañana laid anchor at a small cove in south west Ireland, and the crew went below deck. The dining area was surprisingly clean after Ayafre had come into to crew, but still dark and dank as any ship belly. Yasac and Revloc chatted away at one of three tables in the tightly spaced room while Ayafre and Scarlet worked on dinner and the rest of the crew played a card game at another table.  

"So Revloc how long has it been since you left my ship for that "chance of a lifetime" in Tortuga?" Yasac asks

Revloc chuckled "Too long and yes you were right, I did regret it, and how exactly did you get thrown from the lovely Spanish navy?"

Yasac sighed "Mmm long story short I got framed and then I chopped the man's hand off and commandeered my own ship and gave it to a pirate." Yasac said proudly.

"...What about Acha... Revloc was stopped short at the overwhelming smell of food that suddenly entered the hall. The crew speedily got from their seats and helped set the food about the tables, and then...feasted as only they could.

Eventually the crew were quite full, and spirits were high, but Scarlet and Revloc continued eating, and soon they found a delicious pie left with seven pieces and each of the crew took a piece. Scarlet and Revloc were still hungry for more but alas there was one piece left. Revloc flashed seductive smile to Scarlet. Scarlet drew a disgusted look and reached for the pie. Revloc grabbed her hand and drew up an eyebrow. Scarlet removed her hand and showed him her middle finger. Revloc was taken aback as he was quite used to getting his way with women, having much pride in his handsome looks. Revloc grabbed the plate the piece sat on and waved it around.

"Come on doxy lets share the piece." Revloc suggested

"How bout I shove it up your ear!"

"How bout you calm down captain bunter!"

The two glared at eachother.

          "Gimme the pie Revloc ya scug"

"You know, your mother must have been a hamster!" Revloc shouted.

Scarlet's mother was the last straw with that, the enraged Scarlet grabbed the piece and smashed it into his face. Revloc wiped some of the pie off now quite angery.

"Why don't you leave ships to men who can handle them!" Revloc shouted.

 Scarlet's temper reached her peak and she grabbed her staff sitting by the door to the stairs.

"Revloc you're but a mock man! I challenge your yellow buttocks" Scarlet yelled

Revloc searched about the room and found a mop nearby. Revloc accepted and ran to gasp the mop as his own staff. And before anyone could get out of the way Scarlet in a rage kicked a table over and then kicked again it at Revloc. Revloc ever so gracelessly jumped over it and meet Scarlet. However the table slid right into the door frame jamming it shut. The door which just happened to be the only way out of the mess hall.

The two traded attacks like hot cakes and but didn't stop yelling at each other as they fought.

"You can barely hit me, you must have eyes but no more sight than a blind puppy," Scarlet shouted.

"Shut it mutton head!

"Princock!"

"Popinjay!"

"Son of a rum puncheon!"

Tables were over-turned and food flew everywhere while the rest of the crew scrambled to get out of the mess hall but it proved to be quite difficult as it seemed that the two fighters didn't even notice the rest of the crew.

"I've seen street-walkers more womanly!" Revloc jabbed as he crosses staves with Scarlet.

"What fool has broke adrift here? You've got the head of chicken, the heart of a yellow dog and the bowels of a worm!" Scarlet retorted

Scarlet stabbed at Revloc but he dodged and she nearly skewered Ayafre instead.

          "You strumpet, she snake, termagant!" Revloc roared

          "You're as bone headed as a backwards blowfish!"

          "I leave it to fancy where your mothers was that let you come to sea!"

          "You're not worth ship room!"

          "Do you call that a head on your shoulders or blessed dead eye? Beelzebub himself could hardly desire better company."

 Revloc took a swing at Scarlet she ducked and it hit Yasac square in the head.

 The rest of the crew took shelter under an overturned table but the dualists continued to fight in a stalemate and both whenever there was a pause in the battle instead of catching breath each shot another insult at the other.

          "You should be fed on pap and suckets" Revloc fired at Scarlet as he tried to overpower her with his mop

          "You got no more brain than a sea-turtle!"

          "There is more fire in a small, dead fish than in all your wrinkly body!"

          "The smell of you alone is enough to wrinkle the noses of pigs!"

The two continued on with their ceaseless chatter. Later that day....or night it was hard to tell under a table in the hull of a ship Scarlet and Revloc both without the feeling in their legs resolved not to continue, ending the dual, and looking round to find the mess of hall well...a mess. Scarlet looked around at the horrid looking hall and grinned. And so Revloc with mop already in hand, gained his place on the crew as the janitor.

It was night and the exhausted Captain kept the ship anchored in the Irish cove. The crew had returned to their respective rooms.

Except for Revloc who decided to get an early start at the cleaning of the mess hall. Revloc peered around at the grand mess of a mess hall. But Revloc sighed and knew somehow he probably deserved it. As Revloc mopped down the mess hall with his dirty mop he stopped to stare at the cedar timbers of the hull.

          "So the Mañana, I haven't seen this red cedar on a ship in a long time. Always with the dark woods of the old European trees. I never realized how much brighter these cedars are then the others...I wonder Yasac, why would you want to stay aboard this thing though, with its past. I wonder how long he can keep this. It's not like Yasac to just stay with one group of people not with what he's after and the people who are after him." Revloc chuckles and he grinds the mop into an encrusted piece of pie filling in the floor.

Revloc then resumed thinking aloud. But I suppose Yasac you did yourself right with this ship, course it was never enough for you was it? Still not what you are looking for."

Revloc suddenly slams the mop into the floor "Oh blast it Yasac You tizzing fanged snake! I know what you were thinking. You thought your little "rescue" makes us even? No way, I saved your life! You would be fish nibblets if it wasn't for me. You...ha-ha you think I can't swim? That ship couldn't hold me, oh maybe you don't remember huh? How the great Yasac was saved by Quick Trigger Revloc."

Revloc thinks deep back to the day he saved Yasac's life. "Yeah we were only ten or so and we were playin that game of ball at the port...

"Trigger! Hey Revloc throw it back!" a young ten year old Revloc zoomed behind a pile of crates with a raw hide ball under his arm.

"Come on Revloc!" shouted one of the children on the pier. Revloc brought his head up above the pile of crates. He saw the line of kids eagerly waiting for him to pass them the ball. In the farthest side was the new kid who just sailed in on a huge ship with his family. He gave a funny look at the new kid, getting his attention,

          "Hey...um, Yasac...catch!" Revloc threw the ball to the small Yasac. The ball soars high and Yasac fumbled to catch it. Yasac reached out his hands to catch it, but the ball bounces out of his hands and onto the pier and rolls out of sight. Yasac gave a weak smile as if he never did expect to catch it, while the rest of the kids gave a sigh. Without saying a word Yasac ran to go get the ball.

Yasac in his search takes longer than expected, and it doesn't take long for the rest of the kids to come after Yasac. They see Yasac exploring under a stack of crates for the ball. One of the larger kids pulled Yasac out, stood him up and spun him around. "Nice going Yamsack, ya lost the ball! That ball was mine and you gota pay for it!"

The large kid suddenly slammed his fist into Yasac's stomach and lets Yasac slump to the dock.

"Ha-ha what wimp! Get up you is such a crier."

"Hey get off him!" Revloc shouts.

The large kid looked up from Yasac and looks Revloc in the eyes. The large kid then quickly looked away in fear and proceeds to lumber off. Yasac then quickly picked himself up embarrassed.

"It's ok I'm fine I'll go get the ball back." Yasac said quietly

Yasac scanned the dock for the ball with the rest of the children following also searching for the ball. Yasac spotted the ball and rushed to retrieve it. Yasac feet barely made a sound on the dock planks as he was extremely light. Suddenly some very weak planks under Yasac's feet broke and Yasac fell into the water. The children rush edge of the hole in the dock in an alarmed search. Revloc spotted Yasac submerged and slowly drifting away from the dock. Yasac wasn't moving and Revloc quickly noticed the stain of red in the water around Yasac.

"Red...blood, oh no." Revloc whispers to himself alarmed.

Sure enough Revloc saw in the distance a dreaded shark fin approaching fast, quickly drawn by the scent of blood. Revloc removed his vest and bravely dived into the water. Revloc's dive caused Yasac to drift further from Revloc and out of his reach. The shark was very close now, Revloc franticly swam threw the water. But Revloc saw that he would not get to Yasac faster than the shark! Yasac finally came to and opened his eyes to see a wide opened shark's jaw in front his face. In the next second Revloc's hand shoots in front of Yasac's face. Instead of taking Yasac's head the shark clamped down on Revloc's hand. The shark swerved around and shook its head about trying to tear Revloc's hand off. Thinking quickly Yasac swam toward the shark and kicked the shark right in the eye. The shark released Revloc's hand and swam away. The two boys franticly swam to the surface out of breath and in pain. The two burst out of the water gasping for air. A rope appears above the two swimmers.

An older boy stood grimly holding the rope with a harsh look on his face. He had dark eyes, and short pure white hair slightly spiked. He wore a black overcoat with a brown tunic and large shark hide boots. Behind him, stood a large man. He had a big black beard and rough long hair. He wore a huge white coat soiled with a brown tint of sea ware and mud. He had a black silk tunic and white captain's hat. He stood behind the older boy with a forgiving smile on his bearded face. And to large man's right was a girl. She wore a flowing purple Japanese kimono of silk with black boots and a dark blue beret atop her auburn hair. She had deep green eyes and she had a shy but worried look on her face. The older boy heaved the two boys slowly to the pier. After the boys were safe on the deck the older boy briskly strode away to one of the ships at the dock.

The large man looked down at the two boys; Yasac had a large cut on his forehead but otherwise is unharmed. While with Revloc there appeared to be no injury at all save the blood on his sleeve and the arm well behind his back.

          "Well Yasac perhaps it is better to try going swimming in safer waters. I am glad to see you two are alright, now Yasac you should go see your mother about that cut, I'm going to go back into town and then we are leaving."

The large man then spun around letting his large white cloak open wide to the wind looking like wings as he spun. He then strode away into the port leaving the girl with Yasac and Revloc.

Revloc was quite embarrassed, and tried to keep his bleeding hand behind his back. But the silent girl's eyes were more perceptive.

"Are you alright Yasac?" the girl quietly asked. She reached with her left arm for the gash on his forehead and wipes the blood away with her own silken sleeve. Yasac winces as the wound stung.

With her right arm, out of her sleeve she lets a white silk handkerchief drop into her hand; she extends her arm out to Revloc offering him the handkerchief. Revloc gave her a confused look. "Your hand..." the girl chirped.

Revloc turned red and slowly accepted the handkerchief.

"I'll go get some clean water." With that the girl dashed off into town.

The two boys slump to the deck. Yasac picks at his cut, while Revloc slowly wraps his mangled hand in the handkerchief.

Revloc then chuckled weakly.

"Well wow, you really owe me ya know that?"

"Alright then I shall make us even some day." Yasac answered boldly...

Revloc returned to his mopping. "Yup you still owe me Yasac. No hard feelings of course. You're still my captain, crazy or not."

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Keyword: Legend

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