|
|
|
Cracked Perfection |
| Written by Michelle Huff | |
| Wednesday, 27 February 2008 | |
They had spent all day together. It had been a wonderful day. He looked over at her back; she had drifted off and was sighing contentedly and softly in her sleep. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling thinking about her. He was filled with warm thoughts and fuzzy emotions. Today had been fantastic, the two of them snuggled up together all day long. He knew, though, that he was scared of falling too in love with her. He did love her so and knew that if he didn't keep his emotions in check that he would be all over her. It scared him that his thoughts ran this deep for her. It wasn't supposed to be this way; they were never meant to be this close. In the beginning, it was easy. He just wanted someone to talk to, someone to play with. She was the one. She was smart, funny, sassy, and a little wild; all that he wanted in a play friend. But she was deeper than that and her spell had been cast over him. He wanted more and more of her. Not just her body, but her mind and spirit too, and she gave it to him. As time went on, she tried to break it off with him. "I need to be good," she told him. But he still wanted her and talked to her constantly. It was hard for him to go without seeing her. He finally couldn't stand it anymore and went over to see her. She willing came to him and it was like they had never been apart. Hungrily he held her and kissed her, and when the time came, possessed her body. She became his naughty girl again. He saw himself falling further and further in with her. She intoxicated him. Her smell, her touch, all of it sent a thrill through his body. It had become more than sex. But he couldn't give himself fully to her. He needed to stop before he lost what he had. He tried several times. He tried to let her go. He tried to tell her that she couldn't be in his life anymore, that their relationship just couldn't exist. He could here her voice, trembling at his words as she was holding back the tears that she would shed. His resolve would crumble. Dammit, he loved her so much and didn't want it to be this way. Always after he tried to let her go he would be back the next day holding her tight and telling her that everything would be okay. Okay for whom? He didn't know. He just knew that he didn't want her out of his life. Things went in a cycle. He would see her, love her, and then try to ignore her for the next couple of days. It wasn't her, it was him. He couldn't let himself fall totally for her. He knew that it hurt her. He knew that it hurt her deeply, and then he would go to see her and hold her again. It was never supposed to get this deep, they were only supposed to be fun friends. He knew how she felt. She told him every day in her words and in her actions. That made it more difficult for him because he knew that he could have her at any given minute. The decision was all his. It was just a decision that he didn't want to make and hoped that he never had to. That's why he tried to push her away, hoping to delude himself into thinking that he wasn't in love with her so deeply. Because in reality, he wanted to spend all his time with her. She sighed in her sleep and he leaned over to caress her soft skin. She rolled over to snuggle up to him and he took her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. He loved the way she felt, the warmth of her skin on his. He breathed in her sweet scent and sighed. If only. Life was full of if onlys. A wave of possessiveness overtook him and he began to explore her body with his hands. She looked up at him and smiled sleepily and he was overcome by desire. He rolled on top of her and took her hungrily. He wanted her, loved her, had to have her. After they had both been spent, they lay again in each other's arms for a few minutes. They knew that they needed to go. She held onto him tight. She whispered in his ear, "I wish you didn't have to go." He knew and held tighter to her. She didn't want to let him go. He wasn't sure that he wanted her to let go. He mumbled to her, "It's going to be alright." They both knew that neither one of them knew what that exactly meant. They got dressed and hugged for a little while longer. He knew that she loved to be held, and he loved holding on to her. Yeah things for them were a lot deeper than he ever expected. It would be so much easier if she was a cheap floozy. Finally they both had to get going. They kissed one last time. They walked out to the parking lot and he took her to her car. He kissed the corner of her eye one more time and backed out of the car whispering, "If only for the kids." She smiled her small sad smile at him without saying anything, but he knew that she knew. He got into his truck and started for home. He had lost his family once, and didn't know if he could go through that again. It almost killed him the first time and it was sure to do the same to him this time, if not be worse. He also knew that he wouldn't be very friendly towards her for the next couple of days, as if he was trying to get her out of his system. It had been a fantastic day, and it would never be forgotten, no matter how hard he tried. Why did she end up having to be so perfect? It would have been so much easier if she had been a nobody. It was a no-brainer decision if you were on the outside, but much more difficult to make with emotions. First there was his wife and kids. He knew that he loved his kids, and in the back of his mind, he thought he loved his wife. She was just difficult to get along with. Then there was her, so beautiful, so perfect, so in love with him. It had seemed so easy at the start; find someone to have fun with. They only thing he didn't take into account was the fact that they were both human and both had feelings. He wished he could mesh his two lives together, the love he had for his family and the love that he had for her. Right now, he knew that the two co-existed peacefully. His family knew nothing of her and she accepted his family for what it was. He also knew that the day would come when he had to decide, but she wasn't pushing the issue for now. He was glad, because he didn't want her to go. He didn't know what he wanted. He wanted it all..... Copyright 2008 Michelle Huff |
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
via Email