Tired Avenue Dirkin/Anna Devine

Hello all. Anna Devine (Sad Sara) and I have been...

Paradox 102

"The easy part about time travel is that you...


Roosters and Lions In Monotone.


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Written by Shoosh Russelcrust   
Tuesday, 26 February 2008
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    He woke up to roughly one hundred billion neurons scream. The alarm clock, however it did, worked. Some of his brain calmed down after he pressed snooze. Some of it didn't. Part of his brain wanted an english muffin. One part wanted to get rid of his hangover by drinking a little more, and another part wanted to stop drinking altogether. But the loudest part whined at him to get dressed, grab his keys, a pen, some willpower, pour $3.45 worth of gas into the tank and open the door to Requirements 101, for some reason he wasn't quite sure of yet.

    But he wasn't out of bed yet, and he was far from decided. He read the clock and subtracted an hour because he'd never gotten around to fixing it. He felt last night. It was on his breath, on the scattering of his pillows, and in the tiremarks that lead out of his driveway. So that was about it. Tomorrow and today, both wearing their widest smile and nicest suit, and standing off for the possession of his morning. It was the everyday battleground. Shots fired so often it's forgotten how definitive and complex the sound is.

    He hadn't given up on the gray, yet. The blacks and whites, they had their thing, and it worked for them. Every test question they could answer with A, or B, and they could do it so fast they wouldn't have to think about it anymore. The best he could come up with, from the school desk to the bathroom floor, was a unrefined, undiscovered lump of a little A and a little B. He liked it that way. It sure made getting out of bed difficult, though.

    He watched the clock transform a :00 into a :05, then into a :10. He could see the parking spaces getting more and more distant, and the traffic getting more and more thick. He could also see a trail of footsteps from heavy work boots slugging in the mud, already clocked in and going and reaping today's benefits. He lay on his side in a groove carved into the bed. This, now, today, would be a tough one.

    There were no lawnmowers and no barking dogs. He got up, put on deodorant and found his keys. There was something irreplaceable about this morning. It wasn't brighter than usual, and he wasn't expecting much. It was a quiet number. Undemanding. Simple. Raw. There wasn't a tumor clinging to his folder, but there wasn't one in his wallet either. There wasn't much of anything, except the kind of silence that makes an empty room a museum. He stepped out onto the porch. The sun was still waking, cracking it's neck and peeling an orange. For now, the moisture in the air and the puddles on the ground were safe, but the sun and the water both knew they had a long day ahead of them, because neither of them could exist for very long together. In the early morning, even if for just today, they seemed to get along, and even if it was timed, he couldn't have cared less.


Copyright 2008 Shoosh Russelcrust
Keyword: getting on
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Comments (5)
Posted by thirteen
2008-02-26 23:57:26
....

, very simple story but nice writing
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Posted by R.E.Potter
2008-02-27 11:29:11
,,,

Good story...$3.45 worth of gas though...might get you to the next block.
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Posted by lorislittlesecret
2008-02-28 07:25:07
....

Again..pretty decent story...

readable, some things mushy to me,
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Posted by Egoist
2008-03-10 21:10:15
....

It took him quite some time to wake up. But then again I've had those mornings. I liked the story, and I found it a simple look to the routine of a wake up. I really liked the quote "except the kind of silence that makes an empty room a museum" as well as the title. It's very creative.
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Posted by Dirkin
2008-06-04 06:42:13
....

I have done the stare at the clock hangover thing too many times, its not fun. I am sometimes overwhelmed by your writing style, and thats not a bad thing, but by which I mean that your descriptions and metaphors are sometimes so abstract that I have to reread them again. It forces me to pay attention and think instead of skim reading which I have a habit of doing. You take great effort to describe minutae, every nuance of thought and events of what amounts to a few moments in time for the character. Which is an interesting style.

That said, I think the drawback is that there is no plot in this tale. This didnt seem to have an ending, it just stopped mid story. I honestly cant think what the ultimate point of this story is, except perhaps an exercise in descriptive writing.
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