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George Sandler was a big boy. He was ten years...


I Loved a Woman


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Written by George Saracen   
Monday, 25 February 2008
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I loved a woman,
She was my heart’s desire,
Her splendor shone on my face,

My fancy did embrace,

I wooed her with words,
They flew round her like birds,

Shining and singing,
I hoped intoxicating,

But wine cannot be made drunk,

Nor a mirror hide truth,

She enjoyed my homage,

Ignored my hunger,

I told her my heart,
And I listened to hers,

Put wild flowers on her hair, and gossamer,
Driven by the laughter and love of her,

But it was I that swooned,
I brought her the moon,

She took it happily,
Somewhat summarily,

Whatever I gave her,
Already belonged to her,

And she never knew,

My ache as it grew,

She dropped petals on me,
Caressed with gentle breeze,

Her flowing curved lazily,
Her laughter shook happily,

Yet she never felt,

And she never thought,

That which I sought,

Before her I knelt,

She did not even imagine,
That one could wish without deserving,

So she gave me a passing waft,

An aroma cruel and soft,

And then it was evening,
She gladly declared her leaving,

Not even knowing, nor caring,

I watched her now despairing,

I said naught for pride,
She looked at me and knew this:

I could not say what I could not hide,
Tribute taken, departed with a kiss.

 

 

Note: Cover image is my modified version of a painting by J.W. Waterhouse, with apologies to William. Can be seen full-size at http://crowcaw.blogspot.com/2007/10/i-loved-woman.html ! 



Copyright 2008 George Saracen
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Comments (5)
Posted by Sad Sara
2008-02-25 08:11:50
....

This poem stands for a moment of urgency.

I can't deny being touched by the sentimental portion of this piece, but however exceptional it sounds, there's something grander to dig out of it.

'In' being prolonged by a fact, not (only) Poetry aesthetics, made this a grim registration of a period.

An insurmountable event for a delicate observer has a strong pandering for becoming absorbed and later on poured onto a means of art.

The affliction is bigger than your own, and even maligns sorrowed pleas as useless.

I needn't say anything else.

A moment in time. A poem on time.

Beautiful verse

Truly

'Anna
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Posted by gsaracen
2008-02-25 08:45:34
....

Thankyou so very much for your comment!

I promise to provide feedback to your own wonderful poems as soon as I can. Though I am off to some drudge-work right now.

And everyone out there, get commenting! This concept only works if we interact. If you're not commenting then others aren't bothering to either, and somewhere a kitten cries... so comment!
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Posted by UrzTrly
2008-03-09 21:09:15
Hmmm

Not sure I can be very constructive with this; I'm not sure I know enough about poetry to criticize helpfully.

I liked that it told a story, but I thought it might have been a little too similar to other love poems. Not really a bad thing in itself.

Its just after reading your story 'Red Demon' and thinking how strange and original it was, this poem felt like you were not trying to speak through your own voice and experiences.

I know a story and a poem are kind of different, but I would have liked to see more of the personality that I saw in 'Demon'...just in poem from.

I hope I wasn't too rambly...and keep up the good work.
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Posted by gsaracen
2008-03-10 08:12:02
....

yeah with this poem I was going for a more orthodox universal feel. But it IS actually based on real feelings and emotions, just ones that I share with very many other people. That's why it is so... common. In a sense. Because... there are things about me that are unique, and there are things about me that are typical.

Also, was focusing more on language in this one. I like it for what it is. It isn't very different or eccentric or unique, but I was trying to do something that has been done before very well in my own way.

Like my spin on this sort of poem. But it IS personal, which may indicate a certain banality in my sensiblity! lol. But as I say... not every part of me is unique. I guess it's also a man's poem, in that it's based on a certain kind of male experience.
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Posted by nick711
2008-03-13 13:17:54
....

This is an absolute beautiful poem. I felt that it showed immaculate meaning and perspective. You are an undeniably prudent poet, and for your advice, I thank you.
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Last Updated ( Monday, 25 February 2008 )
 
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