The ambassador stepped out of his limousine. He was surrounded by for of his bodyguards. The four bodyguards and the ambassador walked through the entrance of the hard rock café. The hostess led him to a table in the very back.

The man in the leather jacket walked in the Men's room. There were three other men in the bathroom. Two were at the urinal and one was washing his hands. The man in the leather jacket walked along the stalls checking if they were occupied. Satisfied that they weren't occupied, he entered last stall and locked the door. He listened to make sure that he was the only one in the bathroom. When he heard the last man leave he slipped his hand behind his back and pulled the .357 magnum revolver from his waistband. He opened the cylinder and made sure for the third time it was loaded. He paused for moment thinking about what he had to do. He slipped the .357 back into his waistband and exited the stall. He went to one of the sinks and turned on the water. He stood there looking into his own eyes in the mirror. He looked in to the eyes of a man who was about to become a killer. He splashed his face twice with cool water. He walked to the door and grabbed the knob. He had to fight an over whelming urge to vomit. As he left the bathroom he reminded himself for the cause.

The ambassador sat with four other people other. The ambassador was a man in his fifties. His hair was graying. His once athletic was becoming little bit more round. He seemed to be engaged in conversation with the two other couples but his mind was else where. Three of his bodyguards stood at strategic points around the table. The fourth was in the kitchen monitoring the food preparation.

The man in the leather jacket scanned the crowded restaurant for the ambassador. He had located the ambassador at the very back table and made his way towards him. He stopped far enough from the ambassador that his bodyguards wouldn't consider him a threat. He looked right at the ambassador and the ambassador looked right at him. The man drew his gun and opened fire on the ambassador.

The ambassadors' bodyguards drew their firearms and subdued the gunman. By now the room was in chaos. Tables had been thrown over; people were lying on the floor with their hands over their heads. "Check the ambassador," yelled one of the bodyguards. Four rounds had entered the ambassadors' chest. One had passed through the heart. The ambassador was killed instantly.

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Comments (13)

Posted by thirteen 2008-02-24 00:16:13 .... ggod, but i think you can do more with this. + Report this comment
Posted by Vango 2008-02-25 10:07:37 .... I know I could of. It was first short story I had ever finished. I've read some of your stories and they were really good. what advice could you give me? + Report this comment
Posted by thirteen 2008-03-10 16:54:07 .... Only just saw this now, i dunno really mate.Only been at this a few months myself.But what works for me is exploring the characters, their past.Weird I know ,my poor girlfriend has to put up with my strange behavour 24/7.But its a good story and its a start init.Any way good luck mate. + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-03-19 21:10:53 .... This is interesting, I perhaps would like to see more motivation behind the killers actions than: for the cause. I think you set the scene well, it had some tension as the killer psyched himelf up, maybe if you had something unexpected happen rather than what the reader expects with an abrupt ending, it may have more impact. + Report this comment
Posted by resistanceisfreedom 2008-03-31 16:31:52 .... yea i think maybe just a little farther and it would have been better. but nonetheless i still thought it was pretty cool. that cause must have been a great one. to sacrifice your life just to put somebody down. + Report this comment
Posted by deadfamilytree 2008-03-31 20:05:31 .... i do agree that u cld hav done more with the story...but other than that it was a good read. + Report this comment
Posted by Forsaken 2008-04-08 03:41:36 ... Wow. This story is edgy and simple, which is a good thing for short stories to be. You have written enough to make it exciting and easy to read without it being too lengthy. This story is excellent + Report this comment
Posted by Roadkill315 2008-04-10 09:31:33 .... First short paragraph; not too engaing. Some good action in the rest. I take it this is more a draft of a story line you'd want to turn into a story. + Report this comment
Posted by Kasi 2008-07-01 21:33:43 .... I liked it, and I agree with Thriteen, the main characters could use some more elaboration. I am curiousas to what made it necessary for the ambassador to be shot. + Report this comment
Posted by philneale1952 2008-07-04 09:00:15 Flow My only criticism is the way the story flows. Try not to repeat the same word in such a short space. The word 'ambassador' is overused towards the end of the story, and you need to find other words of a similar type to express meaning. It's a common flaw and everybody does it. Try reading the story out before posting it, that usually works for me. Overall very interesting tale. Phil + Report this comment
Posted by chaabuk 2008-08-20 23:34:03 .... Superb work this. This is a charming piece of writing that I have read in recent times. One must always strive to strike a chord in a reader’s heart. You have achieved it in great measure. Good job. Keep it up. ;-) + Report this comment
Posted by allmine 2008-09-24 16:11:09 .... It isn't bad...your characterization of the one guy is pretty good, but still....why is he going to kill the ambassador? I mean I suppose that isn't really necessary. Watch your sentence use, some of them could be combined into longer sentences, you understand. Overall, I liked it... + Report this comment
Posted by scooby 2008-09-24 18:58:19 .... I think was good but I also think it is missing something. You definitly need to add to it. But good story. + Report this comment

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