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The girl in the back


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Written by sophia van dyke   
Sunday, 17 February 2008
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             There she was just sitting there in the back of some strangers car.I looked down at her and she looked back with a plesant smile, I frowned back, she caught my eye and her smile turned into a frown. Then I smiled and she responded with a smile. "Who is she?" I wondered. I got out of my car and walked up to her window.she screamed and her mother (which was the stranger) got out. Her mother swung her purse at me but missed and hit the window where the girl was, knocking glass all over the girl, and there she sat with a pleasent smile on her face the dead girl in the back.

 

 A month has passed since the incident.. I now sit here in the prision where I was blamed for her death, well I took the blame for the mother, and I still wonder what her name is. this drives me insane so i ask for some paper and a pen... with the paper and the pen I write this story called "The girl in the back" sharing a murder and a blame I took. I write this because I want to share this with the world and when it was published I finally found out her name. One of the wardens, which was a freind of mine did me a favor, he went out and bought me a newspaper and I looked at the obituary and the very first story said "Amber lynn Shanchez died a mysterious death, she died with a smile on her face and it was (my name) who was blamed for her murder."

 

A few months later...........Im out of prision and I am walking down the street. I walk to a rose merchant and I buy a rose........ then I walk to the cematary and I find Ambers grave and i place the rose ontop of it and I let a tear run down my cheek as I read the writing. It said "Amber Lynn Shanchez Born:December 1, 1980 Died: December 6, 2000. I just stood there and weaped because Amber was only 20 for 5 days. I had been 20 for a few months but I couldnt imagine being only a certain age for 5 days. I finally stopped crying and I took a copy of my novel out of my pocket and I buried it into her grave well I didnt bury it that far down just about a foot down and I got up and walked away.

 

A year later I sit here in my house and I think about Amber. I cant get her off my mind. then suddenly I hear a window in my house break and I reach for my knife but someone busts the door open and shoots me straight in the head. The next morning my mother comes and she sees the worst sight in her life when she walks into the living room she sees her dead son just sitting there in a puddle of blood and she calls the police and someone to get my souless body.

 

I look down from the place I am at my mother she is standing there dressed in all black crying. I want to go down to earth and comfort her but I am not allowed. I try to cry but i cant. I get up and there she is amber I run over to her and I smile at her and she smiles back, I only got into this place because of the good deeds I did. As I walked over to amber I take her hand and we walk down the clouds of heaven for forever.

 

 Andrew Jocobs Born:September 5 1980 Died: September 1 2001 

 

-S.V.D. 



Copyright 2008 sophia van dyke
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Comments (7)
Posted by 1800
2008-02-17 14:33:35
....

It was an okay story, but the "Remember this is a fake story. All the names and deaths are made up." killed the mood.
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Posted by bgr168
2008-02-17 15:20:35
....

i fixed it and i hope the mood is back
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Posted by 1800
2008-02-17 18:36:13
....

Sorry if I sounded a bit blunt with my previous comment. It was a good story, but it just seemed a little odd with the disclaimer.

Still, good job!
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Posted by bgr168
2008-02-17 18:49:01
....

agh thats ok i fixed it and im a young writer we seem to do tht stuff but its ok
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Posted by tarhead
2008-02-20 00:22:35
i think i liked it

i wonder at the dates - she died 5 days after 20...

was he supposed to have dies 5 days before 21?

keep writing!
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Posted by InsaneFairy1992
2008-02-23 18:22:50
....

It was okay, but some parts had me confused (the girl being murdered) keep writing and you'll improve it was good overall.
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Posted by bgr168
2008-02-23 23:03:19
....

she died 5 days after she turned 20
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Last Updated ( Sunday, 17 February 2008 )
 
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