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Nathan Weaver and the First Impression |
| Written by Nathan Weaver | |
| Monday, 11 February 2008 | |
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Share it:      So, my friend introduces me to her new boyfriend and my mind immediately goes into Not Him mode, “Not him. Come on, you are so much better than… that.” I mean, if I knew she was that desperate, I would have helped. She’s good looking; she’s got what it takes. Hey, if I wasn’t married, I’d consider her. Definitely. But, that’s beside the point. Way beside the point. But mostly, that is very awkward. Moving on.
As awkward as the conversation comes after the introduction of:
"Hello."
“Hi, I’m Nathan" and in my mind, not him!
It became massively awkward. Way too awkward. We start trying to catch up real quick; we end up talking about some guy who has been interested in her, but really, really creeping her out. Yeah, how awkward is that for the new boyfriend?
I’m like, “Yeah, I knew you were gonna be here tonight. So-and-so told me.” She goes, “What is that? How does he know what I’m doing? I don’t even talk to him. Creepy.” I was like, “Yeah, he knows everything about you,” She was like, “Creepy,” and then awkwardness was a nail and I was the hammer which drove it… and there was no stud to stop it. “Yeah, he was there peering through a window when you lost your virginity!” WHAT IS THAT? Seriously, who says that?! I’m great with first impressions, in case you can’t tell. I like to make my first, my last and everlasting impressions all at the same time. That way if I die tomorrow, somebody can say something at the funeral, “I barely knew Nathan, but I’ll never forget when I first met him. He insinuated my girlfriend wasn’t a virgin. He had a way with people. Not sure what to call it, but it was something. And, well, that’s something, right?” And you know it is. I can just imagine the conversation that followed, when I walked away:
“You said you were a virgin?”
“I am a virgin and that man is not my friend."
“But I thought you said he was your friend?"
“No… not him. NOT HIM.”
THE END. Copyright 2008 Nathan Weaver |
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| Last Updated ( Monday, 11 February 2008 ) |
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