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Why won't you tell me? |
| Written by Kb | |
| Saturday, 09 February 2008 | |
You head to your first class, just like every other normal day. You get your books and your binders and papers. You take your usual spot. The minutes pass slowly like hours, until finally the bell rings. To second class you go, walking with the same person as you did yesterday, and the day before. Twenty minutes into period two your name is called on the PA. At first you don't respond, or even hear it until a friend taps you on the shoulder. You look up. "What?" One worded, dull response. They proceed to tell you that your name was called. You nod, pick up all your crap and head out of the classroom. You're not even slightly interested in why your name was called. As you walk down the bleak hallway it seems to bend and stretch and warp. You don't feel like trying to figure out why. Once you reach the office you're still not interested in why you're here. What does catch your attention is the look the secretary, what's her face, gives you. When she realizes you see the gaze she looks away and evades all eye contact. You walk up to the desk and wait expectedly. "T-t-take a seat, your step-cousin will be here soon." She says, still keeping her eyes away from yours. You shrug and sit down right in front of her, just to see her squirm. Twenty minutes have passed. Most normal people would worry or at the very least wonder, not you. You have bottled all your emotions so well for the passed three years that it seems like you don't have any anymore. The biggest thing on your mind is being glad that you get to miss so much of second period. Finally your step-cousin comes, looking a little flustered. "There's been an accident." He says simply. You swallow and nod. Not one flick of emotion shows on your face. You don't even find it necessary to ask who, when, why or how. It's because you're not ready yet. You're afraid that the news will shatter the hard shell you've worked so hard to put up and keep up. You simply follow your step-cousin to the car. There will be time for human emotions later, now you should concentrate on the homework you received before leaving. All the homework is done to perfection. There isn't one thing that could be improved. You work up the courage to ask the details of this accident, not one word has been said since you left home three hours ago. You don't even know where he's is taking you. "Who was in the accident?" You asked, playing with the zipper on your black jacket. No response. "Where did it happen?" You swallow hard. Still no answer. "How did it happen?" Silence. You blink once. "Where are we going?" When the silence remains, you're somewhat relieved he didn't answer. You're not too sure you can handle this anymore. The rest of the trip to the unknown destination is completely silent. Six hours with nothing but thinking, and for the first time in a long time, wondering. The first stop is to a hotel; when you arrive you see some familiar faces. They run up to you hugging you and telling you the most comforting things they can, which makes you even uneasier because you still don't know what's going on. "What's going on?" You keep repeating over and over. Your voice is lost in the rush of all the people, silenced by the commotion. Finally you give up and sit in the corner, taking in the scene around you. After awhile of watching all the chaos, you begin to feel overwhelmed and confused. You cannot determine what is going on and it's taking a toll on you. Finally everything starts getting fuzzy, and then the world is black. When you open your eyes again, you're in a large bed with bright pink and purple flowers on the comforter. Judging by the mismatched patterns and colors, you're in the hotel room. You look around to find you're alone. You're thankful for that because you're a little embarrassed by the show you put on last night. When you get up you feel a little dizzy, but you make the feeling pass and get out of the room to get some fresh air. While wandering around, you find that a lot of people are looking at you, and you can guess why. As you're thinking of these things you hear your name. Startled, you turn around. It's your step-cousin. "Why are you up? Are you ok?" he looks into your eyes to find the answer. You avoid his glance and nod, sending the definite hint to end the conversation. He nods in turn and starts on a new topic. "We're leaving in about an hour to go to the hospital." He shoves his hands deep into his pockets, waiting for a response. "Tell me what happened." You choke the words out; still a little scared you'll get the answer that has been haunting you. Now it's his turn to avoid your glance. You can feel a little bit of anger welling up within you, but for now, you dismiss the feeling and follow your step-cousin to the room the get the few things you brought with. The drive is even longer than last time, ten whole hours of nothing but silence. Normally you would be just fine with this, but now it's starting to drive you a little crazy. You keep replaying horrible things that could have happened, and who they could have happened to. You feel as if you're going to explode... But you hold it in for now, after all, you have become very good at this sort of thing. Once you finally arrive at hospital, you're met with a bunch more people who are trying to comfort you and hug you and tell you it will all work out; there are tears everywhere. By now you are sick of this whole scene. The anger is welling up; you push it away for a little longer because you're informed that the doctor will talk to you now. You feel a little better because you know that he will give you some definite answers. When you meet up with the doctor he starts telling you stuff in medical lingo. By now you are sick and tired of beating around the bush. "Tell me what happened and tell me who it happened to, now!" You can't help that your voice is rising a bit. The doctor shuffles around uneasily on his feet. He clears his throat and you prepare to finally hear the truth. "Why don't you go down to the cafeteria and get some hot chocolate?" Wrong answer. You finally lost it. Three years of built up emotion is let out at this exact moment. You scream and yell and flip your lid and do whatever is possible to do. You break things and stomp here and punch there. You're not conscience of anything, because you don't have control anymore. You can feel yourself screaming "Why won't you tell me?!? Why won't you tell me?!?" Over and over again. You continue your rampage until someone with strong arms grabs you and suddenly the whole world is black once again. You wake up in a white room. Judging by the lack of color, you're in the hospital. A doctor comes into the room, checks a chart, and looks you in the eye. "What happened to me?" You asked, your voice hoarse. Her gaze never falters. "You snapped from the stress and shock in your life right now." She says simply with a kind look in her eyes. "All the shock and stress from what happened." "What happened?" You whisper with a dark, stormy look in your eyes. The doctor simply replaces the chart and leaves the room.
K. Copyright 2008 Kb |
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