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Short Stories Humor Help me.
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Help me. |
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| Written by June Lunare | |
| Saturday, 02 February 2008 | |
| Last Updated ( Saturday, 09 February 2008 ) |
Comments (53) |
 02-03-2008 03:32, ??? lol » Reply to this comment...  02-03-2008 03:57, Inspiration has come to me at last. Thank you for this piece. » Reply to this comment...  02-03-2008 15:42, still smilin.. :) » Reply to this comment...  02-03-2008 18:52, Where's the syrup..ok, I guess that was gross. I love it when a story get straight to the point. » Reply to this comment...  02-04-2008 11:09, Lol. That was hilarious. » Reply to this comment...  02-04-2008 11:33, I didn't really expect people to laugh. Well, I know that probably you're the only one that did, other than the first guy. » Reply to this comment... 02-04-2008 11:36, Thanks for the laugh, beautiful. Your name is really pretty. » Reply to this comment... 02-04-2008 11:42, Wow, I wasn't really expecting that. Still, I don't see the connection between my name and your laugh. But, anway, thanks. » Reply to this comment...  02-05-2008 07:31, What everyone else on this site seems to be afraid of doing... given a bad comment. Really, what was the point to this. It looks like it was written and thought of by a 5 year old...and it wasn't even funny...at least to some one on a mature level. » Reply to this comment... 02-05-2008 08:46, Yes, it isn't funny. I, myself, didn't laugh at it. It is a wonder that someone like you would actually come across such a poorly written story like this. Some people may have said it was funny because of its randomness and it most certainly has nothing to do with logic or any intelligent forms of humor. Thanks for pointing this out. Your comment really reflects your user name. » Reply to this comment... 02-06-2008 02:10, Critic at large is a grammar policeman, yet he says things like 'given a bad comment' when it should be giving or at least givin' if he wants to be hip like us 5 year olds. » Reply to this comment... 02-06-2008 04:24, He forgot to put in a question mark after "Really, what was the point to this." Oh, and yes, to critic someone based on whether something was funny or not is not a critic at all, just an opinion. If he were to critic, it would be best for him to specifically point out the reasons why it isn't funny. He's too vague. I hope he can post another comment so I can see what I can improve because his comment didn't do anything for me. » Reply to this comment... 02-06-2008 04:28, I don't think he was trying to critique your story. He probably wanted to do was he said he was doing: giving a bad comment. But, yes, I agree with you. » Reply to this comment... 02-06-2008 05:17, I'm in awe, you all noticed my error's. No, I am no English major, nor do I claim to be one, Infact, I am not a critic at all. I'm just someone who will point out an obvious when everyone else is afraid to do so. I will never tell you or anyone they are a terrible writer, just that maybe a class or two might really be beneficial. It's great that everyone claims brilliance on every story, but is that fair to the thirteen year old who you will mislead. Someone who love's to write but see's no reason for improvement. This site I believe was not set up as a kiss ass site, as Baethan Dawn appears to be with you. I shall change my user name to "my opinion" to apease those who do not like my honesty... as I see it. Maybe I'm being to harsh on a story that is clearly pointless, and a story obviously that was put up as a joke. I have read a lot of great stories from poeple who are amatures that have great potential, and I let them know. » Reply to this comment... 02-06-2008 08:38, For clearing that out. I apologize for the rudeness that I have displayed on this website. Yes, this story is useless, I must admit. It was a joke. I have written other stories and I believe this is the first time I have put something like this up here. Please forgive me for my rude behavior. » Reply to this comment... 02-06-2008 15:05, I would like to put something out there: If you don't like a story you have a right to say why, yes this site is not a kiss-ass site but that does not mean you can be condescending and rude about it without expecting people to take offense. » Reply to this comment...  02-06-2008 18:22, nicely done...how do you write a comment that's longer than the story? » Reply to this comment...  02-07-2008 05:06, One should be constructive in giving criticism - not rude. Constructive criticism is important if one is to improve one's writing skills. I also see no harm in being a 'grammar policeman' - or a 'spelling policeman' for that matter. There is nothing worse than sloppy grammar and poor spelling to spoil (at least for me) what could be a good story. Having said that, I'm glad that most agree that the original posting does not really qualify as a 'short story.' » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 10:55, And since when were rules of writing carved in stone? Obviously this story doesn't qualify as a short story. But, who has the write to say that? Pablo Picasso's artwork was probably not even considered as a piece of artwork back then. And saying, "Well we say it is now" is no excuse. I think we are way too conventional. » Reply to this comment...  02-07-2008 11:00, Reading "Deja Vu". It's pretty similar to this... Try criticizing that story as well. » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 11:49, the largest string in the world, i'm gonna add to it. first and foremost - great job june. critic at large pointed something out and you agreed - and you should not have - but i forgive you. i'll get to that in a moment - critic at large ( my opinion) - it matters not the name (a rose...) you seem to be a little confused as to the nature of the comment geneerators, as well as the nature of the site. i can help you there. here is what us "kiss ass" comment chuckers do. 1. read story. 2. look for entertainmenet value (this is a personal issue) 3. tell the writer briefly what we thought by leaving a comment on the site. 4. IF IT IS A GOOD STORY AND COULD BE A GREAT STORY IF IT HAD SOME THINGS FIXED - OR IF THERE IS A GREAT ERROR THAT NEEDS TO BE REPAIRED IN ORDER TO MAKE THE STORY READABLE TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC - we will click on the person's profile and address the issue privately. 5. we go to the next story and see how it tickles us. » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 11:56, rewards given here for number of person's whipped. back to where june messed up. i smiled when i read the story, and then handed my phone to my sweetheart to read. she got lost. i did not. why? because of the nature of your writing. your style. and because of the train of stories that have been coming out of this site for a while. the site went country western... everybody's dog died. everybody's love jumped over a cliff... everybody's friend got dumped... people were dying everywhere. when i wrote "tarhead mugwump zombie killer" i did it because of the number of zombies walking the site. they were killing authors everywhere... so, i read your story and smiled. it was so not june - and many times one will get put into a box and forget to fight their way out. i am still smiling, and will smile every time i read it. the reason we write, is to entertain. the story, given the times, was a splash of fresh air. one question, june... did the story entertain? » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 12:06, last but not least, for all of the "gotta save this person from total embarrassment" folks out there. HAVE NO FEAR! we are not going to read out nice, polite, and sometimes awesome comments and enter our story into the "intergalactic contest of great stories" we write to entertain, and we write to test our feelings about our character and plot - against objective brains... this is a sounding board. a now, drumroll, the finish. one of the first things i do when i get a comment from a stranger, is zoom to their profile. is the person a writer or a reader? or both? i want to know "who" is commenting. i want to know how much experience they have as a storiesville writer. fierce comments should be backed up with a log of fierce stories... also, i look to see if the comment stream is mostly negative, mostlly positive, or a good mix of both - so i know how to read the comment i received. non writers get scored also... i also look to see what the reader appreciates. » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 12:11, appreciates, junk - well there you go... so, if somebody leaves a comment, i look at the score. june has chucked herself out there more than 25 times to be judged by others... bravo! practice makes perfect. other aspire to be - and have produced nothing to be judged by either the "kiss ass" crowd, or the "whip toters" there! that should all be as clear as mud. i put this here, because this story should be visible for the rest of my life on the front page, and i think everyone should read this thread. it says alot. and as far as "something qualifying as a short story" (yours was, by the way june) - i think this thread is one. write on everyone! smile! and remember, everyone has a guestbook!! » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 12:39, It seems I have stirred up some emotions. This was never my intent. Just to be honest as I saw it. I apologize if I have hurt any feelings. Though I believe The author of this fabulous tale should thank me for making it quite a hot topic. I will try to be more helpful and less hurtful in the future, and also keep in mind, the greatest advice you could take, is listen when it is given you. » Reply to this comment...  02-07-2008 12:39, Well done Tarhead my friend...well done. » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 13:24, The most controversial stories on this site. I'm stunned. » Reply to this comment...  02-07-2008 15:35, I guess, we should get more people in on this entire...forum...type...thing. .. Just adding another picture icon to the bunch. The more the better, right? The story's funny out of randomness obviously, but saying that there "once was a woman," then saying that "she is currently on top of me" makes me feel like she died sometime in between the time she got up there. I laughed once I figured that out too, but maybe my ways on looking at grammar are wrong...I don't know. Look at how many ratings you're getting though. Can anybody answer me? Is there a story with more comments than this? » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 16:09, I shall thank "My opinion" for starting this whole forum thing-am-a-jig. It is quite surprising to hear someone ask to be complemented after being the object of ridicule. But, I guess it would be worth it. He deserves to be complemented, you know. He was another form of "entertainment." » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 16:10, Oh wait, just checked the main page...top five at least...Good job. » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 16:15, Poor "My Opinion". I think I should learn a lesson from him as well: honesty isn't always a gift. But, then, that's rude. I'm being honest myself. He is definitely unfortunate. Oh, and yes... Egoist, there are stories with more comments. Go to the homepage, click on "Most discussed" and you'll find stories with up to 48 comments. » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 16:17, 48 comments to be exact. » Reply to this comment...  02-07-2008 16:21, christianjwright@yahoo.ie This is the source of all the switched identities! An email address that isn't mine placed onto my comment. Grrrrr... Actually, 42 comments. Lol, I'm looking suspicious here, putting an extra comment... Lol. I'm evil. » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 18:11, the whole story fits on the excert on the frontpage... » Reply to this comment... 02-07-2008 19:09, the entire story does fit the little magical square! » Reply to this comment...  02-07-2008 20:20, noticed that... » Reply to this comment... 02-08-2008 07:07, as many times as you have viewed this incredible story, one would think you would have corrected the last sentence already. I believe you were trying to say, (I'm) running short of breath, but thats being petty... but then, aren't we all. » Reply to this comment...  02-08-2008 11:59, One of the funniest things I've read. » Reply to this comment... 02-08-2008 12:39, She intentionally put (I) running short of breath there. She REALLY sounds out of breathe. » Reply to this comment... 02-08-2008 12:50, You really are a kiss ass to her, she just can not any wrong in your eyes..lol..are you one in the same..I wonder. Hey,,I think were close to the top of most discussed... and for this story,,or blurb,,can you believe it. » Reply to this comment... 02-08-2008 12:58, me just remind you, Baethan. You were the one who came up with the idea of this story in the first place. This story is in your hands...now save it! All these comments are like diamonds given to a warthog. It's your ugly baby and I'm not its mother. » Reply to this comment... 02-08-2008 13:02, Diamonds were given to you. » Reply to this comment... 02-08-2008 13:07, Thank you... » Reply to this comment... 02-08-2008 16:19, This story was my idea after all. Remember when I told you a joke about this type of a fat woman, Baethan? Sorry. » Reply to this comment...  02-08-2008 16:32, uhhhh...... Say What?? I do have to say though, for such a short story you have a lot of people talking!! Love how random it is. K. » Reply to this comment... 02-08-2008 18:47, So it's reached it...the top that is...it's not like it wasn't determined to... Currently holding number one in most discussed, "Help Me." » Reply to this comment... 02-09-2008 12:29, I keep worrying that eventually the page would just explode from too many comments. I'm glad this is starting to settle down. » Reply to this comment...  02-10-2008 14:18, This was so funny. It is my little piece of inspiration. Thank you. » Reply to this comment...  02-11-2008 04:36, saw this on most discussed. the comments are hilarious » Reply to this comment...  03-19-2008 08:13, heeeheeee » Reply to this comment... 03-24-2008 11:05, the most discussed? boy aren't we a bright bunch. » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s) 03-24-2008 16:34, a flash story that makes no sense.....a fat and flat pancake?? that comparison doesn't work...on the positive side, very creative and it obviously makes people feel something so it's good art » Reply to this comment...  04-29-2008 16:45, so many comments...u hav really stured up alot of people on this sight. i personally liked the little read, it was joyfull. but i really wouldnt want a fat chick on me. if i dont die i will defenatly be scarred for life. bravo to u...i take my hat off for u » Reply to this comment... |
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