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Written by John Wells
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Friday, 01 February 2008 |
The Art of Letting Go
He was briefly meditating upon the title he had just written. He was looking back on his life and he could see that he definitely had learned how to let go of certain things. Here is his commentary on how it happened:
“It really began just shortly after my mother’s death when my cousin Billy came to pay me a visit. Billy had come to collect any pictures or documents of my parents for the family tree genealogy he was creating.
Upon his arrival one early autumn Saturday morning, he came into the living room and quickly noticed all of the things of my mother’s I had laid out on the living room floor. He also noticed a great number of her other things in the rest of the house.
He made this remark. He said, ‘I see you have so many things of hers, but I am going to tell you something that you may at this time find hard to believe. Eventually, you will dispose of all her things.’
I had great difficulty accepting this remark. I thought it was quite heartless, but after approximately four years, I did what he said. I realized I had formed an emotional attachment to all of her things, and this emotion was not well suited to my mental health.
When I look back upon it, I think it was wonderful to have such strong feelings for people, places, and things. There is such a binding connection to everything and a genuine passion to continue belonging. As I spent time with her things, I discovered that the feelings for them, or for her, became less intense. Only when I had come across something of hers that I had not been in contact with for a longer period of time, did those feelings return, but even then, they did not last as long as they used to.
I did not want to have regrets about disposing of her things too early. I was very afraid of this, but I had what turned out to be a good idea: I took photographs all of her things.
Then, after a few months, I did begin to take her things out of my life, and about a year and a half later; I even threw away all the pictures, except for one of herself which I always keep in my wallet. I realized I did not need her things anymore. My mental picture of them was adequate. Those things were now not in possession of me.”
This experience changed his life. He could no longer become attached to people, places, or things with the same intensity. In a way, he rather missed this.
Copyright 2008 John Wells
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