Richard sits down on his recliner with a sigh.  He can feel a tension headache approaching and grimaces as he chokes down a BC powder.  Leaning his head back against the cushioning, he listens for Nell.  An average five year old would be asleep by now, but his daughter is far from ordinary.  More often than not, she will scurry into the living with her "Blue Bear," and watch the Tonight Show with her father.

            Rubbing his eyes he catches the glimpse of light that reflects off his wedding band.  Memories flood his mind.  All he can think of is Jane.  Closing his eyes, the recollections jump from year to year.  Seven years together provides him with a quaint collection of every emotion.  He sees her above him, her long hair tickling his neck and chest.  His senses are flooded with the smell of her shampoo and sweat.  The feel of the sheets against his body; the touch of her fingertips tracing his shoulders. 

            Quickly he finds himself on their old back porch.  The rays of the setting sun highlight the red mingled with the brown of her hair.  Oh, how he loved her hair.  He listens to the tinkle of her laugh as she watches their daughter play with the dog.  He sees a glimpse of her smooth thigh through the slit in her summer dress as she repositions herself.  He catches the hints of green in her brown eyes as she makes eye contact; her smile teasing.

            The glint of a knife blade seems to fly at him from the sun.  He is in the kitchen, struggling with her to put it down.  Her face is contorted in pure hatred.  He can recall screaming for Nell to run.  Hide.  Anything.  Just get out.  Jane jabs the knife at his throat, he dodges it quickly, smacking his head against the countertop in the process.  Pain ripples through his temple, momentarily causing him to see spots.  Jane is on him again.  Clawing at his back with her fingernails; drawing blood.  His knees smack the floor as he falls under the unexpected weight.  He lets out a cry as her arms attempt to wrap around his neck. 

            A hand tenderly touches his knee.

            Richard's eyes fly open and he raises halfway out of his seat before he realizes it is only Nell.  His heart is racing and he can't help but look around the room, convinced Jane is lurking in the shadows.  Reading the fear and concern on Nell's face, he quickly sweeps her up in his arms and places her on his lap, shaking off his thoughts.

            "It's going to be alright sweetie.  I was just dozing off."  He pulls her head on his chest and rubs her hair.  Squeezing her bear against her body, Richard can't remember her ever looking so small.

            "What's the matter sweetheart?" he whispers, pulling her face up to meet his.

            "I thought you were dead for a minute."

            His heart skips a beat.  Repositioning himself so he can fully see her face, he quickly swipes her hair out of her eyes.  "You what?" he asked with more force than he intended.

            "I thought Mommy had come back." 

            He suddenly found it hard to breathe.  He kicked himself for allowing his personal fears to invade his young daughters mind so easily. 

"You know that that can never happen, honey.  Mommy's gone away.  She won't be coming back.  Remember our talk?  From now on it's just me and you, kiddo."  Standing, he grabbed her under her arms and placed her on his hip.

"You're getting a little big for this," he grunts.  Walking through the hall and up the stairs and towards her room, she began to whimper.  "Can't I sleep with you Daddy?" 

Ignoring his first impulse, which was to coax her into sleeping in her own bed, Richard knew they would both be up all night anyway.  He changed directions and walked into his room. 

            The bedroom walls had been stripped of all family photos including his wife.  Now there only remained a picture taken of him and Nell a few months ago.  He had taken her to the park.  The photo didn't show that a few moments later Nell had burst out in tears at the site of a puppy. 

Flashing back to his earlier trip down memory lane, Richard recalled finding the pup in a small pool of blood by his bowl.  When he discovered Jane's side of the bed was empty, he had become worried.  He had come down to the kitchen that night to see what all the barking was for.  When he found the puppy Jane had...

            Richard shook the memory away.  Placing Nell in the bed and turning on the television, he turned off all but the bedside lamp and went to change. 

            Grabbing a ragged pair of pajamas pants, Richard glanced down at the bathroom sink.  No bottles were placed around the right side.  Only his deodorant and face wash remained.  He had come through this room sweeping all of Jane's things into a trash bag. The whole ordeal had taken place through tears he had furiously blinked away.  Now glancing in the mirror, he realized the expression he wore was no different than it had been that day.  He splashed water on his face and proceeded to change into his pajamas. 

            Nell was near dozing as he switched off the bathroom light to be replaced by the glow from a small night light.  He climbed in bed and switched off the lamp.  He tried to sleep but kept finding himself staring sightlessly towards the ceiling, watching the flickers of light that reflected off the television.  Listening to Nell's shallow breaths beside him, he pushed power on the remote and rolled over on his side.  He knew tonight's dreams would be just as they had for the last year.  Plagued by Jane. 

            Richard thought of how he and Nell had come to be in their situation.  About a year and a half ago Jane began to suspect that Richard had been cheating on her.  He had not, in fact, and repeatedly told her.  She remained unconvinced, positive there was another woman.  After a few months had passed, Jane began to deviate from the woman he had married.  She started to wear baggier clothes, and tie her hair up.  She painted various rooms in the house odd colors.  None of the rooms appeared to have a theme any longer.  None exhibited any noticeable pattern either.  He later painted over them with several layers of white, as if trying to cover the better part of his life she had dominated. 

            Jane had then begun to go on rampages, claiming that no other woman would raise her child.  Richard fought with her often, trying to seek out the woman he had wed.  It didn't take long to discover she had long been missing. 

                        Then the ordeal in the kitchen had taken place, completely unexpected.  Richard had no idea why she had attacked him.  The only way he could get his wife of his back had been to slam his body backwards into the wall.  She had finally lost her grip and slid to the floor.  Once loose, he grabbed the knife she had threatened him with and turned on her.  He heard her rustling in her pockets.  Turning, he came face to face with the barrel of a gun.

            He had no idea where she had gotten it from.  They didn't own one.  Fleeting thoughts rushed through his head, wondering what connection she had to have had to obtain this weapon.  He had dropped the knife and stepped back.  That's when the gun went off. 

            Richard fell to knees once again on the cold kitchen tile.  He slowly reached up to where the bullet had penetrated the left part of his chest.  He knelt there very still for a moment watching his blood spot the gray tile.  He remembered the sound of Jane's laugh as she scrambled to her feet.  He had watched her run out the front door from that spot.  To this day he did not know why he did not try to stop her.  He suspected deep down that she would have killed him.  Perhaps that was why he did not move to stop her.  Perhaps it was because the next sound he heard was a thump from above his head.

Nell later told him that she had waken up in the night to find her mother standing over her, holding the knife only inches away from her throat.  The dog barking had saved her.  Her mother had traced the tip of the blade across the little girl's neck and told her to go back to sleep; kissing her on the forehead.  Jane had then gone off in search of the dog, leaving Nell shivering and hidden beneath the covers.  She had lain there, even after her father screamed for her to leave until he finally returned to the room.  He had found her curled up at the bottom of the closet with her bear, muffling her tears in his cloth lining.  Richard could remember the fear that tore through him as he searched for his daughter that night. 

            When Richard had suddenly realized that Nell was still in the house, his momentarily paralysis was suddenly broken.  He forgot his weeping wound and raced up the stairs.  He ran to her room.  Trying to listen for her, he could hear nothing above the roaring of his own blood in his ears.  He had torn the covers off the bed and fell to the floor, looking for her under it.  When he had finally approached and the closet, and swung the double doors open, Nell had been terrified.  He was repeatedly kicked in the shins as she beat against him, eyes closed tightly and screaming.  He had scooped down and picked her up; bracing her shivers and tears against his body.  When she had seen the blood Nell had become terrified.  He finally convinced her to help him pack some clothes and head to the hospital after she let him give the house a final survey. 

            Richard rolled over in the bed again, listening to Nell's quiet breathing.  He looked at her lovingly, watching her small fingers twitch in her dream. 

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