 | |
| |
Short Stories Poetry Insane
|
|
|
Insane |
|
| Written by Yahaira Nunez | |
| Friday, 25 January 2008 | |
| Last Updated ( Friday, 25 January 2008 ) |
Sporadic.
What is?
Her brain.
The girl's insane.
How so?
She writes.
It's sickening.
And I'm afraid her love for it is deepening.
Explain.
Her fingers have calloused.
The bird's feces is an unhealthy shade.
And her fat cat, though I've told her, she has not spayed.
Please, elaborate.
The box is always talking.
Her room has a stench, from which I think I can't recover.
...Tell me ma'am, does she have a lover?
Not one.
I've begun to believe that she loves herself.
That incessant squeaking.
That fathomless breathing.
What of the box?
She says it is her father.
Her thoughts and emotions, she claims, it churns.
Before, she complained, they were kept in an urn.
The content.
Flesh against flesh.
Chafing and aching.
Pressing, exploding, and making!
Bleeding and screaming.
Distressing and reaching!
Her mind it is digressing!
And it is all just too depressing!
Please! Have you an adhesive?
You must be at ease.
But she wanders,
And because of it she squanders!
And that kiss...
Kiss?
The kiss she casts upon my cheek...
Performed and redundant week after week.
Yes, sporadic indeed.
You concur?
Ma'am, it's in her brain.
I'm afraid... the girl has gone insane.
Comments (21) |
 01-26-2008 14:32, Interesting story being told in this poem. I tried to imagine two people who might be having this conversation, and I had the impression of a doctor and the girls loved one, maybe her mother? Well done » Reply to this comment...  01-28-2008 08:25, Is this about your love for submitting stories to the site? That's the way I see it. For once I was able to understand your story. Most of your work is too complex for me to comprehend. » Reply to this comment...  01-28-2008 09:48, I like it..It's dark and disturbing » Reply to this comment...  01-28-2008 10:28, neat concept for a poem,,,I liked this one a lot. » Reply to this comment...  01-28-2008 11:01, Do you really think my work is too hard to comprehend? Oi... I didn't know... And actually the poem is about a woman (a mother) meeting with a shrink to talk about her daughter. She thinks her daughter is straying away from what she is supposed to be doing (which I guess could be becoming a "productive member of society"). She thinks her daughter is unmanageable (which is why she is seeking psychiatric help), but if you pay close attention to the poem the girl is hardly a 'problem.' She's a pretty normal adolescent. She's a little introverted, a writer, messy and lazy. She a little ignorant of the world surrounding her and is trapped in her own. The mother is exaggerating, and that's part of my criticism towards modern-day parenting. Discipline isn't what it used to be, everyone is seeking psychiatric help and looking deeper into things, and it's ruining children. "Outdated" discipline was a little harsh, but more effective. We all have issues to deal with, but delving into them too » Reply to this comment... » See all 4 replie(s) 01-28-2008 11:11, much can even enable unacceptable behavior. An example: "God that woman is a slut, she easily succumbs to men's desires" "Hold on. Don't judge her too harshly, she grew up without a father." See? Again, I know people have issues, but we need to deal with them in a responsible and sane manner. I think a person who sleeps around because she didn't have a male figure in her life should know that having sex with random men isn't too healthy or morally correct, even if she pains over not having a father. In the poem, the therapist should have pointed out that the girl wasn't insane, but going through normal teenage episodes. But he wants the cash you see. And just in case you were wondering, the line: "I've begun to believe that she loves herself. That incessant squeaking. That fathomless breathing." is making reference to her daughters masturbating. Well, I think I've said too much. » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s)  01-28-2008 17:56, nicely written, i liked the sporadic rhythem and feel. it was very creative as well » Reply to this comment...  01-29-2008 02:29, explanation. to be honest i read the poem about ten times - before i was able (simple mindedness on my part) to untangle what i thought was the meaning. ultimately, i decided that you crammed a ton of verbage into a small container... nice. » Reply to this comment... 01-29-2008 07:48, I'm afraid I got a little carried away with the explanation. I'm somewhat passionate about my opinions, and that really translates into me being self-absorbed; and I hate it. I almost impose my opinions on others. Stop it Yahaira! I'll work on it, k? Verbage? Doesn't that mean wordy garbage? Oi... harsh criticism. I'll pull through though. Thanks for the comments. » Reply to this comment... » See all 2 replie(s) 01-29-2008 08:02, Yahaira...if it makes you feel any better..I got it the first time I read it. And I liked it.... » Reply to this comment...  01-29-2008 08:03, ..and yes, I understood that this was someone talking with a shrink about someone... her daughter in this case. Not sure what the adhesive line was about...a band-aid? anyway...gave it a 5 on style. » Reply to this comment... 01-29-2008 08:06, I just assume it was her daughter...perhaps not » Reply to this comment... 01-29-2008 09:05, Lori, you're so kind. It does make me feel better. Oh, and Chad, when the mother implores the shrink for an "adhesive," she means that she wants a "glue," something to fix something that is broken. She wants the shrink to quickly give her a "solution" to her daughters behavior. Thanks for your comments again. Much appreciated. » Reply to this comment...  02-09-2008 18:22, I'm sorry, but it took me a couple of times to understand this as well. It's no way in your fault, I'm just horrible with understanding most poetry...but, once I understood it (and your explanation was helpful), I figured it was the mother worrying away, I find that pretty common in real life. Great poem, sorry I didn't understand it the first few times, but that only means it's deeper than what you expected. I don't know how I write my own poems, and know what I'm talking about... Now that I understand it, I keep reading it over and over again in my achievement. Makes me feel good. » Reply to this comment...  02-29-2008 10:49, Man, I wish you wouldn't say what it's about. My favorite thing I've read on this site to date. » Reply to this comment... 02-29-2008 10:54, Man, I wish you wouldn't say what it's about. My favorite thing I've read on this site to date. » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s)  03-05-2008 13:47, Emotions are the motivating force in our lives.This motivation can be productive,empowering and creative,or it can be addictive,negative and abusive. Whether we are happy or sad,healthy or diseased,liberated or imprisoned in our own mentally created hell,depends upon our ability to manage our emotions. Our emotions are constantly manipulated by advertising and politics,trying to sell us wares and sway our opinion.Rather than providing practical training to control the mind, our culture medicates everyone from preschool children to seniors because they lack the tools to adapt to emotional pressure.I prefer meditation over medication,sedation tends to find complacency.Err...pass.Million s are prescribed tranquilizers,antidepressants and other mood-modifying drugs;or they self-medicate with alcohol,recreational drugs and countless other addictive substances or activities.Creativity is a gift not an illness,it requires solitude not medication and apathy. Where's the art in that? Ann » Reply to this comment...  03-12-2008 12:48, Truly a work of art. » Reply to this comment...  03-15-2008 18:07, Now THAT's a poem! It just worked! And I can't tell all the reasons why...but it DID. That's the kind of free-verse I like! (was it free verse? Am sort of primitive....) » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s)  04-21-2008 12:53, wow this is an incredible poem! i loved how it seemed like it was never going to end. i wanted to keep reading and reading. i liked the whole shrink idea as well. not something you read everyday and thats what makes this unique. » Reply to this comment...  05-03-2008 09:21, indeed powerful.. breathtaking at everyline. incredible. gotta admit though i didnt exactly understand everything but your explanation covered any questions i had.. good job. no, great job. no, amazing job. tremendous. » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s) |
| Only registered users can comment. Please login or register. |
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
Stumble
Reddit
Technorati
Digg
