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Of Life - Part II |
| Written by Michelle Huff | |
| Wednesday, 23 January 2008 | |
Then something happened. Jeff happened. He blew into her life like a fresh breeze. Funny enough, he liked her, wanted her, thought she was pretty, everything that Evelyn had never known. Everyday he talked to her, emailed her, made her laugh, and made her sparkle. She knew that if Derrick ever found out that he would leave her. She wasn't ready for that to happen so she enjoyed Jeff during the day. She knew that Jeff would understand since he was married too. She wasn't sure why he was so friendly to her, but it just felt right for both of them and they were carried off together by a force they didn't understand. Jeff and Evelyn grew closer and closer forming a relationship that they both knew was wrong. They enjoyed each other both mentally and physically. The physical part of their relationship was more than she had ever imagined. Never had she had such intense sex. She craved him, feeling like she wanted to become a part of him. Their fit was perfect like they had been made for each other. Still she knew that it was wrong and that somewhere she still loved Derrick. He was a good guy, just a bit controlling. One day, Evelyn discovered that she was pregnant. She had given up all hope of ever having another baby. Her other child was already older and she had been told that she might never get pregnant again. Coming to terms with that, she had given up her hormone pills in anticipation of having a hysterectomy. She found it too coincidental that she immediately became pregnant after all of those years of trying. And the timing of it was a little much too. All signs pointed to Jeff and the probability that the baby was his. She went to him. He just held her, letting her know that nothing bad was going to happen. She believed him, she always believed him. The world seemed so at peace when she was in his arms. The months passed and she grew bigger and bigger. Derrick was thrilled at the possibility of having a son. He was a little more helpful around the house, but no less controlling of her time. Evelyn knew that she couldn't take any classes or have any interests other than Derrick. That's the way it was, the way it had always been. Evelyn grew more and more petrified that Derrick would be able to tell that the baby wasn't his when it was born. She confided in Jeff. Jeff held her tight, let her cry and told her that it would be okay. She clung to him and sobbed while he kissed the top of her head and murmured in her hair. That moment, she knew. She knew that she was head over heels in love with Jeff. The baby came. He was perfect with beautiful pink skin and a gorgeously round head. Everyone said how much the baby looked like Derrick. But Evelyn knew how much the baby had Jeff's features. His eyes, his ears, his nose, his hands all were Jeff's. Derrick became sweeter towards Evelyn and you could see the happiness in his eyes when he looked at his son. Evelyn vowed never to let him know that he was not the baby's biological father. Inside, Evelyn felt sad. Sad at what she had done to Derrick, sad that her baby would never really know his true father and sad that Jeff would never get to be the father to his baby. But she loved her son, loved him differently than she had ever loved her daughter. Maybe it was the mother-son connection, maybe it was her older age. But she wanted him to know nothing but joy. Jeff came to see her and the baby whenever he could. He had a way of calming the baby down when she couldn't. He would hold the baby with such a tenderness it brought a smile to her lips. It was a bittersweet smile since she knew that her son would never be as important to Jeff as the children he already had and could be a father to. She knew that his family came first and she got what was leftover. How could she ask for more; wasn't her situation much the same as his? The spoiled brat in her wanted him exclusively, even though she knew that it couldn't be. Besides, she wasn't sure if she could leave Derrick. All their years together had to count for something. And he had never been abusive, so she really had no reason to complain. Christmas was approaching and Evelyn spent a lot of time dreaming up the perfect gift for Jeff, which was hard considering he still had to keep everything from his wife. She bought him a present and decided to write a note to let Jeff know how she felt. She knew that they were getting deeper and deeper in their relationship and knew that he loved her. So she told him how she really felt about him, how special he made her feel and how complete they were together. He quietly read the note that she had written and set it aside not commenting on any of the words that she had poured from her soul. He continued to hold the baby and look at her. Evelyn took his silence as simply the fact that he didn't want to say anything at that point. After all, her co-worker was in the next room and he was holding a baby. He promised her that he would get her a Christmas present. She didn't care, it wasn't the present that was important to her. She just wanted his love. Christmas came and went, and still he promised her that he was going to get her one. She laughed at him and his procrastination and tried to tell him it wasn't important. But he put his finger on her mouth in a shush position and told her that it was important to him. He told her that he would have it to her by Friday. She shrugged and smiled at him. The present wasn't important to her, her presence in his life was. Friday came and went. She didn't even hear from him. Evelyn tried to hide it from her co-worker since she knew the relationship she had with Jeff wasn't right. But that day she cried. She knew that she would never be first on Jeff's list, never. She understood that she might never even be second or third, but it would be nice to be on the list of important things in his life at all. He always called her before the weekend, especially on a long weekend where they couldn't see or talk with each other for several days. But he didn't that day. Not at all. Copyright 2008 Michelle Huff |
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