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Short Stories Horror Seven Letter Word
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Seven Letter Word |
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| Written by Egoist | |
| Tuesday, 22 January 2008 | |
| Last Updated ( Wednesday, 23 January 2008 ) |
I’ve learned a lot of stuff in my life. One was that suicide is a seven-letter word.
I was shoved against the door, as they tried to reach the inside. They begged me to open it but it was mainly them who created my insanity, as they called it. There were maybe two-three humans out there, trying to push the door open, but the more one is cornered, the stronger one gets. I watched as the noose dangled from my ceiling fan, it was greeted at the bottom with a small stool.
I pushed my dresser to cover the door, since I had no lock. My room was plain, painted tan, with a desk, chair, dresser, bed and window. The window viewed into the place in which was said to collapse.
It was earth.
My dresser seemed to be heavy enough to hold them from pushing the door open. My ceiling was ten feet high but it made up for the lack of space my room provided.
I felt as though my attitude was only curious. No one ever told me to go and kill myself, I just felt as though it was now the time. The reports said we were to end soon anyway, I rather end this way than being burned to death. No one had ever seen me sad before, I’ve always been the person to question. I was a grade-A student, and I enjoyed being Book Club president.
No one would expect this out of me, except ten minutes ago, when I sat at the table with them. They ventured into my emotions for school today, which was usual. It was nothing different, it was until we saw the broadcast on the war which had started a year ago. The footage showed threat from the attackers, they held one of the troops hostage and killed all of them on video tape. I watched while eating my dinner and announced, “I wonder what it’s like.” My mother stopped cleaning the dishes and responded, “Eli…what do you wonder?” She was shocked and my father only watched what I was doing, I responded, “What death would be like.”
She dropped her dish and didn’t even watch it shatter. She came to the table and yelled at me, “You don’t speak about things like that! You hear me! Nothing of it!” My sister and father stared as she got closer and closer to me and eventually got in my face. Her hand was raised to slap me, but my father gripped her body to carry her into their bedroom. She repeatedly yelled, “I’m fine! I swear! He can’t speak of such a thing in my house! My house!”
When they returned to the table I had already gone upstairs and tested my weaving skills. She came up to apologize from her behavior she displayed. She opened the door just at the moment I was hanging the noose on the fan. She was speechless as she watched as my head emotionlessly turned to looked down to her. She let out a scream, as I pushed her back into the hallway. This alarmed my father and my sister.
As I watched them struggle to break the door and reach their fingers in, I stepped up onto my bed. I was not mad at my mother, I felt as though I was only exploring. My father must have been banging his body into the door, opening it by a centimeter each time. It was enough for them to reach their arms in. Each time he banged, he would push the door forth then it would recede from him lifting off. It was like a moving picture show.
I viewed them as if they were drowning, but I placed my necklace upon my neck. I watched them struggle, and I viewed the twilight on the other side of the floor. I was going to get into this place people talk so much about.
I stood on my stool, and viewed how far away the floor was. I was hoping I would do this right, and my neck would snap rather than me be strangled to death. I tested my hopping motion for practice. I noticed from the newly forming crack and the screaming on the other side, that my sister was no longer struggling her arms in, but rather she found the exact spot to view my every move.
I finally hopped up into the air with a forward motion watching the ground. The door receded, then I was seen motionlessly hanging there.
It got silent, as the drowning arms, flailing about, receded from the crack, and their faces now tried to peer in. My mother noticed and gave out her scream.
It seemed reasonable of her.
Comments (16) |
 01-23-2008 08:20, that was deep. a really great read from many perspectives. » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s)  01-23-2008 09:10, Wow..powerful » Reply to this comment...  01-23-2008 09:20, I found the best parts to be the refernces to drowning. Excellent word use to convey the emotion and urgency with which his family was trying to save him. » Reply to this comment... 01-23-2008 09:31, Seems the mother over reacted to his question about death, but good little story. » Reply to this comment...  01-23-2008 09:32, Last comment was from me and not roadkill315. » Reply to this comment...  01-23-2008 11:37, the drowning onlookers causes me to wonder who the suicide "victim" thought was actually dying... » Reply to this comment... 01-23-2008 11:53, Thank you all for these comments. It feels pretty good to get so many positive remarks on my first short story. » Reply to this comment...  01-23-2008 11:55, ^^^ It's be funny on why someone else would be saying that... It was me who put that last comment [it seems this is a common error] » Reply to this comment...  01-23-2008 14:52, very nice cat very nice.....btw is it kat or cat....im gonna just say cat » Reply to this comment...  01-23-2008 16:15, That was a really good story. So sad that so many people like the characte can become that detached and impersonal towards life. » Reply to this comment...  01-23-2008 18:51, Great illustration. » Reply to this comment...  01-27-2008 12:59, I think this is a great story. it kept me on the edge of my seat, even though it was only for a minute or so. The way you portray the imagery in this is wonderful; absolutely insiring. my only criticism is: i think you should let us know what happens to your main character, and tell us if the parents, plus the sister, proceed through the baracaded door. those are only suggestions of course, i would never tell you how to write your own stories. keep writing, you're great. » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s)  02-11-2008 12:01, Agh! What a disturbing thing to be curious about... death. I liked how the main character was monotonous throughout the whole predicament. That adds to the 'horror' effect. You could of meant something by the 'drowning family' (as Tarhead suggests) but I think it was more of a visual aid... for their flailing arms... but I dunno. But, overall, good job. » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s) 03-08-2008 21:31, As "Pez" said, the monotonous voice is probably the strongest on-page presence and I could use more of it. For me, it comes off as everything but powerful. It comes off as trying to me, with the exception of the ending line, which was a very strong closing and really ties your voice strongly with the rest of the piece. As I say in almost every comment I give, "Show, don't tell" the old cliche, i know. "I felt as though my attitude was only curious". Thanks for TELLING me, right before you use an entire paragraph as a tool to SHOW me that he's simply curious, not suicidal. I don't particularly like the grade A student line, it comes off as obnoxious and troubling to me. Use dialogue how it should be used. Split it up into it's own lines, especially in a story like this where tension is the hook. If I had to give a few general hints to round this story off- 1) Learn how to use dialogue. 2) Your voice needs to be either gone from the piece, or balls deep in. » Reply to this comment...  03-08-2008 21:35, (Continuing, ran out of letters) 3) Avoid the melodramatic, aka, "It was earth", a good line in itself, but you space it out like it's an apocalyptic moment where it simply doesn't carry the meaning and depth to deserve spacing as a separate thought. 4) I would sincerely like to hear why you opened with those first two sentences so I can get a better feel for what you were trying to accomplish. 5) Don't be so tied to motion. Inactivity in a story is a writers playground, and you need to exploit the complexity of something so heavy being counterbalanced by a kid who doesn't seem to give two shits to thinking about it. (This is cookingWine, by the way, I just noticed that comments are occasionally handicapped.) Get back to me if you want more. » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s)  03-19-2008 11:20, This made me think quite a bit. But, that may be bad. I am obsessd with death myself, or at least in my writing... This was very powerful. » Reply to this comment... » See all 1 replie(s) |
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