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Written by Chris
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Monday, 14 January 2008 |
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I hate my life. I hate you all. I wish Yellowstone would erupt... I've trying since 1850 and it still won't erupt. And I can't get freakin' San Francisco to float off into the Pacific either. Damn plates. Damn it. Damn it! I hate them! They take sooooo long to move; I've seen rivers form faster.
Why can't I murder those monstrous Americans. Them and their pollution. I can't get at the Chinese either. Lucky bastards. And then there's the Indians, but Mother Nature got their first. I hate her. I hope one of her twisters goes wrong. Like that one she set on Missouri and couldn't stop. Damn near blasted three states off the map! Wait till I get San Francisco though.
Oh man. They won't see it coming. The whole city might just slide right under the Pacific plate and come out Mt. St. Helens a few days later. HA! That would be gorgeous. I can imagine it: "Look kids! Grandma's coming out of the volcano!"
MUHAHAHAHA
Then there's those Europeans. Think they have all the answers. Those ******* Swedes burying carbon dioxide in my crust. Wait till I get them. I might just cause Iceland to erupt again. Hopefully it'll make a tsunami. It'd take out half of Britain too.... I've been waiting so long to get them after their 'Industrial Revolution.' Well guess what? The sun sets on your empire now!
Then there's Russia. Oh, I loathe them. Do you know how many bombs they tested on me? Which reminds me.... I gotta go chop Korea off soon too, as long as Mother Nature doesn't get their first with her stupid global warming.
You think global warming's bad, wait till I figure out how to shut off the magnetosphere. Ha. You'll die of radiation. That would be a good one, if only I could figure out... Every time I try all it does is flip those god damned poles. That would be funny, but not fatal. Well, not bad enough. Okay, it'd be a laugh.
Anyways... As soon as I can make Africa a mountain Mother Nature will die. I'm already laughing about that one. No more hurricanes for you! Then I'll have those Americans all to myself.
I hate my life. I hate you all.
But just wait.
One day... That's what I said to the dinosaurs, slithering idiots...
Copyright 2008 Chris
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