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My heels clanked against the pebbled stones and made echoing noises through the alleyway. No one was in sight as I shuffled my way back and forth against the walls to find my hotel. The fortress-like walls buried my palms in a sooty substance. I tried to wipe it off on the cords of fabric that were my jeans, however, it was useless. I heard the clinking of rat’s toenails hitting the stony walkway; I hadn’t seen any, but I knew they were there.

Everything being a blurry mess of grey, I was positive Jack the ripper had come back to life to murder me, and the fact that I was in England made that horrific story sound like it could be a reality. It’s strange how the mind could conjure up such impossible circumstances; creating sounds you didn’t hear, and visions you didn’t see. The musty air clung to my nostrils. It reminded me of my grandmother’s basement of her ancient brick house. I’d always thought it was the scariest place to be at night, but I’d been proven wrong: being alone in a dirty alleyway in Durham, at only god knows what time in the morning, slightly intoxicated, was definitely much more ominous.

I heard footsteps in succession with my own and my heart began to batter like the wings of a dying partridge. I turned my body completely around and analysed my entire surroundings. Nothing lay along the path and no one was in sight.

So I began to stumble along again when I heard another noise. That time I was sure someone was following me. I became uneasy and quickly whipped around, my purse hitting my left side as I did so, to see if anyone was behind me. I almost fell over and against the wall. I’d had only a few too many drinks.

Then a black, shadowy figure appeared in the alleyway from what looked like inside the wall, in reality, there had been a ledge sticking out from the building and he was hiding behind it. He began to walk towards me. I didn’t run. I didn’t even think to scream. I stood there motionless until he was close enough for me to smell his breath and see his yellowed teeth, which I was sure he hadn’t brushed in months, if not years.

He just looked at me for a few more moments. Next he reached into his pocket and thrust something cold and hard into my abdomen.

“Here, you dropped this,” he grunted.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. It was my cell phone.

“Thank you,” I breathed.

Then he limped away and disappeared again into the cold night air. It took several minutes before my normal pulse could return. It was more than luck. I could feel it. Someone was up there watching out for me.

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Comments (16)

Posted by Roadkill315 2008-01-11 12:10:59 .... Great writing, loved the descriptiveness of the setting. Didn't seem like a place I want to find myself any time soon. As for plot, it seemed to stop just short here. You built up a climax and it ended in a good way with the dark character returning her cell phone. A good ending. Alternatively, as soon as he was gone immediately hitting her with another final/major climax that didn't end so well may work well here, especially for a story tagged as a horror piece. But then, in reading your final sentence, "Someone was up there watching out for me", this was your intended moral of the story which required a good ending. + Report this comment
Posted by the Processor 2008-01-11 13:04:14 ... not bad, not bad at all...you do a great job of placing the reader into the characters shoes + Report this comment
Posted by 1800 2008-01-11 13:06:19 .... Nicely done. I knew he wouldn't hurt her though. + Report this comment
Posted by tarhead 2008-01-11 22:34:11 nice I kinda knew she was safe also... good build up! + Report this comment
Posted by Arjun Sengupta 2008-01-11 23:11:25 .... Well-written. Kind of predictable, but nevertheless, a truly enjoyable piece of work. + Report this comment
Posted by billyboy 2008-01-12 02:25:59 .... Good stuff. Great atmospheric writing. + Report this comment
Posted by Captain Morgen 2008-01-12 16:08:36 .... while writing it i was thinking: sometimes good things need to happen...so i went with that. + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-01-13 18:14:10 .... I think that kind of fear, especially when you are alone and vulnerable, is quite a common feeling. The fact that he limped and had yellow teeth made it worse =) + Report this comment
Posted by dockyard 2008-01-16 11:52:16 .... used to get this feeling sometimes, haha. usually it was pretty legitimate, though. crack heards in the back woods of beacon hill tend to get a bit hostile when, you know, stagger across their camp drunkenly yelling shit. + Report this comment
Posted by cokane*2008 2008-01-16 15:43:40 .... Really like this luved the build up and ive definately scared myself like this before hearing noises that were not really there. + Report this comment
Posted by C.R. Vard 2008-01-30 19:35:37 .... well written + Report this comment
Posted by wbboomer 2008-02-02 18:17:34 advertising just wanna advertise my new poem Unkissable. Click short stories and you'll see it. + Report this comment
Posted by Captain Morgen 2008-02-02 18:30:59 .... umm...i'd appreciate it if you didn't advertise on my story. Thanx. + Report this comment
Posted by 1800 2008-02-02 19:09:05 .... Trying to draw attention to your stories by commenting about it on someone else's short is not a good way to get people to read it. + Report this comment
Posted by onyxdragon 2008-02-05 09:50:31 Insert devilishly clever subject here I really liked the story. I, too, kind of had a feeling it would turn out positive, but I dismiss it at that I've read alot of your work and I just had a feeling you were going to. I guess, because the writing building up to it wasn't as dark as your darker stuff. So, therefore I had a feeling it would be okay. But, it was still good. I think Boomer unintentionally thrust something into his abdomen... and I don't think it was a cell phone. Most unfortunate. + Report this comment
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