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Never Again |
| Written by Lori Branson | |
| Wednesday, 09 January 2008 | |
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Veronica paced restlessly in front of the door. She glanced at the clock and wondered when Jonathan would come in the door. She thought that this might be the day when their luck changed. It was the first interview that he had in a long time. Hopefully a new job would change his outlook on life. She sighed knowing that the late arrival meant only bad news. She heard his car screech around the corner. She peeked out the window to see him pull into the driveway. He staggered out of his car, slammed the door and tried to walk up the sidewalk to the door. Instead he fell down and began to roll in the front yard. Veronica flew out the door and rushed to his side. "Oh my God! Are you okay?" She tried to get him to sit up so she could see any damages that he might have incurred. He backhanded her in the face with a loud smack. "Get out of my way you dumb-ass *****." He pushed her away and crawled on his hands and knees to the front door. Veronica watched his bedraggled body disappear through the front door. He used to be gloriously sexy, with big strong defined muscles. But all the drinking had taken its toll and he was puffy and swollen all over. She sat in the middle of the front yard waiting for the stinging in her face to subside. She tried not to cry as she thought of the love that she and Johnny used to share. But she knew things were going to have to change soon. Either he was going to go back to the lovable guy she once knew, or she needed to find the strength to leave. She knew that as the days passed, the likelihood of the first option grew dimmer and dimmer. Veronica sat in the yard for a couple more seconds, then stood up and walked into the house, dreading what she might see inside. Jonathan was passed out in the middle of the living room. She tried to tiptoe around him, but he reached out and grabbed her ankle, making her fall to the floor. "I didn't get the job, you know," he said, "and didn't I tell you to take out the trashcan in here today?" "Yes sir," she said meekly, looking at the empty trash can. She knew that he never asked or told her to take out any trash. But it was easier to give in than to be hit. She tried to free her ankle from his crushing grip. "I didn't get the job, and you didn't take out the ******* trash," he shouted and pulled her down into the ground. "Why is it nothing I want ever happens?" He got louder and louder with each word. Veronica cringed, closed her eyes and tried to curl into the fetal position as she waited for the first blow to hit. This wasn't the first time that he would beat her into a pulp, but she knew that somehow she needed to make it the last time. But instead of the wallop she was expecting, she heard him crying. Cautiously she opened her eyes to see him wracked with sobs. "Oh my beautiful Ronnie," he cried. "Why do I do such bad things to you? Why can't I be worth something?" Veronica sat up to try and comfort him. But instead he fell on top of her still weeping. "I love you," he said, "I love you so much. Don't leave me, don't leave me." "I'm not going anywhere," she whispered, silently adding at least not right now. He began to start snoring gently in her ear, and she knew that the storm had blown over for the day with not too much bruising to her body. She laid there with his arm flung across her body. He woke up again, and started to whisper menacingly to her, "You know, I will never let you go. You think you can leave, but I will never let you go. I will find you and bring you back." He started to snore again and Veronica gently pulled herself out from underneath his body. She wondered whether she could find the strength to leave him. She knew that he had always been her safe haven, until recently. Growing up in the orphanage had made her afraid of being alone. But she also wondered how much more abuse her body her body could take. She gently straightened up the house and fell asleep on the couch. The next day, Veronica woke up and decided that she had to go shopping. There were no two ways about it; her clothes had just gotten to big to wear any longer. It's was a good thing she had been stashing money away or Jonathan probably would have drank it away. She also knew that she had to be secretive about the clothes that she was buying, or he would know that she had been hiding it from him. Veronica pulled into the work parking lot and grabbed her purse and lunch and got out of her car. Her pants began to slip and in an effort to grab them, her lunch fell and scattered all around the parking lot. She looked around to make sure that no one had seen the mishap. She thought she saw a shadow in the corner, but hoped nobody had seen her complete full moon. Quickly she picked up the contents and made her way inside the building. She got to her desk and began to riffle through her drawer looking for a safety pin. Of course there wasn't any to be found, even though she could have sworn that she saw several of them in there yesterday. She looked above the cubicles to see if her friend, Cindy, was in yet. Luckily, she was there! Veronica rushed over there. "Cindy, thank God you're here already." Cindy was notorious for being late. "I need help, like normal. Do you have a safety pin to pin up my pants?" "Of course I do, Ronnie," Cindy replied. "Girl, you need some new clothes. All that smart eating and exercising has made your ass grow small." Cindy smacked Veronica lightly on the rump. "Wish we could all look so sexy." Veronica looked at her long time friend and smiled. Cindy was so gorgeous that she had to beat the men off with a stick. She was petite, skinny, had beautiful dark blonde hair and the most gorgeous green eyes. Women paid to look like Cindy, yet Cindy was completely oblivious to her own looks. Veronica and Cindy had always had a special friendship. Ronnie knew that Cindy was bi-sexual and comfortable with her overt sexuality, but they had never explored that side of their relationship. They simply had always been friends since the day they met "Cindy, I am just trying to keep up with you." Veronica held her pants together so Cindy could get them fastened tighter. "Thanks, Cindy....I owe you one, again." Before Jonathan entered the picture, they had done everything together. But times had changed, and they didn't get to see each other much. Veronica didn't get to see anyone much. "Anytime, Ronnie my love, anytime." Veronica knew that Cindy didn't get along with the "new" Jonathan, but still supported Veronica. Little did she know that Veronica didn't have much of a choice in the matter. "Hey Cindy, you have a great sense of fashion. Will you take me shopping during lunch?" Veronica asked. "But we gotta do it on the sly, if you get my meaning." "Of course, sweetie. You know that I would do whatever you need. I love ya." Cindy smiled at her friend. "I am here if you need me for anything. I mean that." "Can we go today?" Veronica asked eagerly. "I can't keep pinning myself together. Whoever was in the parking lot this morning got a great view of my ass! You know I thought I saw someone out there but wasn't sure who it was." "Oooh, I wonder if it was that new guy we hired. He is sexy. Let me tell you, that would be a great way for him to be introduced to the company! Of course we can go today. As a matter of fact, old what's-her-face isn't going to be here. We can sneak out a little early and no one will ever know." "Sounds great, thank you so much." Veronica went back to her desk. She smiled with anticipation of her upcoming shopping trip. She hadn't felt this light hearted in a while, and for a moment, she felt like the world was smiling upon her. Just then her phone rang. "Hello, this is Veronica. How can I help you?" It was Cindy. "The new guy's just got off the elevator. You have got to take a look. He is so sexy. Bye." Since Veronica filled out all the paperwork on new employees, she knew that he was here to see her. She unconsciously ran her fingers through her hair and hoped that she looked presentable. She saw a shadow approach her desk, looked up, and saw the most gorgeous man she had ever met. He was solidly built with lovely dark hair, and piercing blue eyes. He seemed to have a hint of laughter in his eyes as he looked down on her. "You must be the lovely Veronica Jackson," he said. "I am James Thompson." She stood up to shake his hand, "Nice to meet you sir. Please come with me into the conference room so we can fill these papers out." She started walking and was leading him to where they needed to go. "Funny," he said, "And I hope you don't mind me saying this since I love the view. But it was much better this morning without the baggy pants." Veronica blushed fiercely. She knew someone had seen her this morning. She turned to look at him to make a comment, but couldn't get any words out. He touched her on the shoulder. "Sorry for the crudeness of the comment. But I mean every word. You that you are a great looking woman who doesn't have anything to hide." Veronica turned her head up to him to smile, and saw the look of lust in his eyes. She continued to look in James' blue eyes, smiling at him with imaginary visions of a lighter future. She wasn't used to the lustful attention of men. She was accustomed to hiding behind her weight. They filled out all the paperwork. Just as they were finishing up, he leaned over to her, "Would you like to have lunch with me today?" She answered him ruefully, "I so wish I could. Cindy, the receptionist, and I have already made plans to go shopping today. I think I need smaller pants." James smiled back at her, "No problem, but I fully expect a rain check for tomorrow. You and your new pants" Veronica agreed, "That will be great. I look forward to it." He left the room and Veronica watched him walk away. She smiled on the inside and got a tickle of anticipation deep inside as she thought about the impending date. She went up front and told Cindy the good news. "Oh my, Ronnie," Cindy giggled, "You just got the catch of the day! I am so happy for you! It couldn't happen to a better person." Veronica giggled back at her and went back to her desk top get some actual work done. At about 11:30, she began to gather her stuff to go to the mall. Cindy and Veronica went to the mall really quickly at lunch. Cindy was a whirlwind grabbing everything in different sizes and shoving Veronica in the dressing room. Veronica looked at the massive pile in front of her with wide eyes, and then began to try different things. She looked at herself in the mirror and was amazed at the beautiful woman standing in it. Cindy knocked on the door, "Come on. Let me see." Veronica opened the door and Cindy gasped, "Oh my God girl! You look fabulous." Veronica smiled and then looked at herself in the mirror and smiled again. She was wearing a V-necked top that accentuated her cleavage and a size 8 pants. Going from a size 16 to a size 8 was a massive accomplishment. She hadn't felt this good and felt this sexy in a long time. "Cindy, can you help me decide what to buy? I don't have enough money for everything." "Ronnie, I'll help out. I love to see you happy. Haven't seen that for a long time." The two friends hugged, picked out the outfits that best complimented Veronica's assets, paid for them and left the mall laughing. They rushed back to work and got back just in time. Veronica spent the rest of the day between being absolutely thrilled at the new purchases and nervous about how she was going to get them into the house. She looked at the clock nervously every five minutes until the time came to go home. Cindy blew her a kiss as she left, "Ronnie, glad to have you back." Veronica looked at Cindy puzzled. Cindy answered her. "Haven't seen you, the real Ronnie, the happy Ronnie in a long time. Hope she comes back more often." Veronica smiled back at her friend, "Hope so too Cin, hope so too. Wish me luck when I get home." Veronica went out the building and drove home. His car was in the driveway, and Veronica silently cursed. Hopefully he had already passed out. She tiptoed into the house and saw him sleeping on the couch. She quickly rushed out and carried her packages in. Unfortunately, he didn't stay asleep. "Veronica, where the hell you been?" he slurred. "I'm hungry; where's my dinner?" He opened one eye groggily to look at her. Veronica tried to hide the packages behind her back. "What the **** is that?" He asked. "Where'd you get the money for that? Thought we didn't have any." "Well," Veronica started stammering, "I have lost so much weight and I needed to get new clothes, and I have been saving a little bit here and there....." She knew that she was babbling, but she began to back up as he was getting closer to her. "What the hell do you need new clothes for? You have a closet full of ****. Dumb stupid ***** spending money on crap we don't need." He grabbed the bag out of her hands, and dumped it out onto the floor. "What the hell, you don't need any of this ****." "But Jonathan, I don't have anything....." she began, but was silenced by a slap across the face. "You've been keeping money from me to buy this **** you don't need. You're a fat ******* ***** and you'll always be a fat ******* *****. No matter how you dress the pig, it'll always remain a pig. And you lied to me you stupid ****, keeping money from me." He began to hit her harder. Tears started flowing from Veronica's face as she fell onto the floor and tried to curl herself into a ball to ward off some of the blows. "I didn't buy them all, Cindy wanted to help," she whispered as if defending herself. "Cindy helped," he roared. "You let that dumb ***** give you money. You know she's a bi-slut, and a good for nothing ***** like yourself. I suppose you are ******* her too." Now he started kicking her as well. Veronica sucked in her breath as his boots made contact with her ribs. She heard the crack and hoped that she would be able to move. He walked away, and she could hear him rummaging in the kitchen. "There's no more alcohol in here and the stupid ***** is off spending money on herself," he was muttering. Veronica sat up gingerly, touched her side and winced at the pain. She quietly gathered up her clothes and put them back in the bag. She grabbed her purse and began to make her way to the door. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he shouted. "I've had enough Jonathan. I'm leaving, I can't take it anymore." Veronica was wheezing and moving very tenderly toward the door. "The **** you are," he shouted. "You aren't going anywhere. I told you I won't let you go; I'll never let you go." "Jonathan, you've changed," Veronica whispered. "I can't be with you any longer. I've tried, but can't handle the abuse anymore." She turned and started going out the door. Suddenly she felt him grab her from behind. "You're not going anywhere," he said in her ear. "I told you I would never let you go." Veronica shivered with fear as she felt a knife blade makes its way up to her neck. "You can't go until I let you go, or make you go," he hissed. "And it's not your time to leave yet." He threw the knife on the floor and sat down on the couch, making sure to keep one eye on her. Veronica exhaled the breath that she had been holding and knew that this was no time to push him. So she picked up her stuff and slunk into the bedroom. She put all her stuff away in the closet, curled up in bed and cried herself to sleep. Veronica got up for work the next day and got dressed very gingerly. She made up her face to cover as much bruising as she could. At least he left most of her face intact this time. Most of the bruising was on her chest where her ribs were most certainly broken. She tiptoed out of the house, and into her car, being careful to not wake him as he lay passed out on the couch. She gently drove to work since any sudden movement sent a stab of pain down her body. She drove in to her parking spot and made her way into the building. She hoped that she could make it to her desk before any one could see her. But Cindy was there bright and chipper. "Good morning, Ronnie. You're new clothes fit you great. Let me see how you look from the...Oh my God! What happened to you?" "Oh well," Veronica stuttered around for an answer. "I just, well, um..." "Don't tell me that lame story that you ran into the door again. He beats you, doesn't he?" Cindy looked at her friend. "That's why you've been so distant lately, isn't it?" Veronica looked her friend in the eyes and decided to admit to the truth, "Yes, he does. I think he broke my ribs this time." "Honey, you don't have to put up with that ****. Why don't you leave him?" Veronica sighed deeply, "It isn't that easy, Cindy. He'll find me. He'll hurt me." Cindy looked at Veronica, "Honey, there's ways to get away. There are homes for women in your position. You can also stay with me if you need too. We'll get you out." "Cindy, last night I went to leave, and he threatened me. He pulled a knife on me. I know he won't just let me go. He won't ever let me go." "A knife? Oh my God, Ronnie, go to the police, get some protection. You have got to get out of there. You have got to get out of there now." Veronica started to cry, "Cindy, I didn't know that I wanted or needed out until yesterday. I always figured that it must be my fault. That I must have done something to anger him all the time. I didn't want to be alone. I was afraid that Jonathan would be the only one to love me. But yesterday, something in me snapped. I can't take it anymore, I just can't." Tears flowed down her face washing away the make-up and exposing the nasty bruises. Cindy hugged her friend, being careful of the bruised ribs, "Veronica, baby. You haven't done anything wrong. You are a smart, beautiful, loving woman. No one ever deserves to be beaten, ever. Let's go home at lunch and get your stuff. We'll get you out of there. We'll find a place where you won't be hurt anymore." Veronica tried to stop her crying, "I only hope that I can get away Cindy. I have a feeling that this is going to get much worse before it gets better." Cindy shushed the crying woman, "Honey, we're going to get you away from him. He's not going to hurt you anymore." Just then, James walked out of the elevator. Veronica tried to hide behind Cindy. She had totally forgotten about their lunch date. She hoped that he wouldn't see her in this state. She wiped at her face in an effort to get rid of the tears. "Good Morning Cindy," he called out. "Good morning Veronica, are we still on for...oh my God, what happened to you?" Veronica looked at the floor ashamed of her appearance. She tried to look up at James, but knew that she would burst out in tears yet again. It didn't help because the tears began to roll again. Cindy spoke up, "James, it's personal. Ronnie is having a tough time at home." "Veronica.....look at me," he said as he gently put his hand under he chin to force her face upward. "Do you have someone who beats up on you?" "Yes," she said, her voice wavering with tears. "I can't get away from him." She started to cry full-fledged again. "Ronnie," he said quietly, "We are going to get you away from him if that's what you want. I am here to help take care of you." "You would do that for me?" Veronica asked quietly. "Yes, I would. I know that I don't know much about you, but what I do know, I like. I want you to be around for a good, long time so that I can get to know all of you. Veronica looked at James and Cindy and whispered, "Thank you, but I need to get away from him by myself. Today. This is it. And I need for you guys to not be involved. I don't want either one of you to get hurt because of me." Veronica grabbed her purse and keys. "I know that I am supposed to be working, but I need to do this now, before I lose my resolve. Thank you guys for being there for me." Veronica practically ran to the elevator before anyone could stop her. She drove home and hoped that he wouldn't be there. Luckily for her, he was gone. She went inside her little house and looked around. She knew that this house was hers, and most of the belongings in it were hers, but it was easier to give that up for now. She went into the bedroom and began to throw a few clothes into a bag. She grabbed all of her toiletries and looked around for anything else that she couldn't live without. She saw her bear in the corner, and had to take him with her too. She hugged him as if to get strength. "You got me through the orphanage, now I need you to get me through this too," she whispered to her bear. Veronica took one last look around and got ready to leave. Unfortunately, it wasn't fast enough. She could hear Jonathan's car pull into the driveway and heard his car door slam. At least she knew that he couldn't be too drunk this early in the morning. The front door slammed, and she looked furtively for someplace to hide. But there was no place in her small kitchen, so she shrunk herself into the corner. Jonathan stormed into the kitchen. "Why aren't you at work?" he demanded. "What's with all the stuff, you going somewhere?" Veronica lifted her chin bravely trying to quell the fear that made it tremble, "Yes, I am. I can't take the abuse anymore. I am going to go to a safe house for a while. You can have use of the house for a couple of months, until you find someplace else to go. But this is my house, and I expect it to be here without you when I come back." "You are not going anywhere," he said. "You think you can hide, but I will find you. No one will ever know that I am not the best. You better tell everyone that I am a great guy for putting up with your **** all these years." Veronica looked back at him trying to keep the braveness in her voice, "I know better than that. I used to think I was a worthless person, but I know better now. There are people who love me and want to take care of me. I am not alone in the world anymore. At one time, I did love you, but that love has died. You killed it piece by piece, every time you hit me. Now if you will excuse me, I have places to go, and a life to live." Jonathan pushed her hard against the counter, and came up to her. She looked up at him with big fearful eyes as she was trying to think of a way to escape. His hands closed around her neck, and he began to strangle her. "You aren't going anywhere, I won't let you. Better for you to die than to run away." His hands began to close in tighter around her windpipe. Veronica started gasping for air. She began to grope the counter looking for a weapon, anything to knock him off of her. Her hand closed around a handle. She knew that she was holding a knife. Tears started flowing down her face and she closed her eyes and debated whether or not to take a stab at him. She wanted him off of her, but she wasn't sure whether she wanted to kill him or not. But as she was gasping for air she decided to swing her arm in his direction. She felt the knife rip into his skin and heard him gasp for air as his hands were released from her neck. She opened her eyes and saw that she had stabbed him in the chest. He was staggering around and grabbing the knife to try and remove it. He fell on the floor and blood trickled from the corner of his mouth. Veronica sat in the corner of the kitchen for a few minutes in disbelief. She watched him for any sign of movement. He wasn't breathing and he didn't seem to be moving. A sense of both sadness and relief swept over her body. She cried hard for about 15 minutes at the loss of the man she once loved with all her heart. Quietly, she got up and went to the phone. She dialed 911, and said calmly, "Yes, there's been a death in this house....."
Copyright 2008 Lori Branson |
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