The Birds: a rendition

Old Charlie Dietrich was walking down Beechwood lane, when all of the sudden he was attacked by an enormous flock of birds. They mercilessly pecked and nibbled at him until he was dead.They actually pecked his eyes out. The birds didn't eat the body, just pecked his eyes out.

All of the bird's carcasses were found dead nearby, they apparently fell ill on radiation poisoning. The town went nuts. Old Dietrich wasn't the only victim to bird attacks. Flocks of sparrows, and ravens, and seagulls stalked the town, attacking, pecking the eyes out and leaving the victim for dead. Always the birds were found dead of radiation poisoning. I was there when officials were called in to discuss the matter.

"Now just what in the hell is going on here?" cried out the Mayor

"They are merciless, they wander in packs, organized." Said the Chief of police

"Organized? That's preposterous!" Snickered Tom Sellers, head of the local SPCA.

"They are smarter than we believe, they peck the eyes out, before the victim is dead! Why, I can only think of one other creature on the planet that will peck something's eyes out, just because. The birds aren't hungry, they don't eat human!" Cried the Chief.

"Now!" cut in the mayor. "It seems your suggesting these birds are waging all out war on humanity!"

Just then the chirps and squawks,the chippity chippity, the putweeeeeeeeets, the caaahs, the giggly whistles,grew loud and hummed like a great plane. Out the window the sky grew dark with the flutter of wings. Around the center of a flock of hundreds of thousands of birds, they were concentrated around one huge object. The birds carried a warhead. It was made of twigs, loose pieces of string, cigarette butts, and plutonium.

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Comments (9)

Posted by C.R. Vard 2008-01-05 19:21:58 good story last time i throw birds bread + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-01-06 07:06:54 Nice I'm racking my brain to work out what other animal pecks out eyes out just because? Must be humans *pecks the screen* ow! + Report this comment
Posted by Cody Brinkman 2008-01-07 04:30:45 .... maybe i soulda said, "removes the eyes"....yeah it's humans + Report this comment
Posted by Yanu 2008-01-08 10:21:06 Heh... That's funny: 'last time I throw birds bread.' A thumbs up for C.R. Vard. As for the story: I remember watching a movie about homicidal birds once, it was on Univision or Telefutura, translated into spanish; goes right along the rabid dogs movie; and I can't remember the degenerate's name, but the guy would scoop out the eyes of prostitutes rather professionally (I believe he had some experience in surgery) and stick 'em into life-sized manikins. I saw it in some forensics special on TV. Pretty interesting stuff. Thanks for the recap. + Report this comment
Posted by Captain Morgen 2008-01-11 12:38:03 .... I had to read it over twice to get it...sometimes I'm a bit slow at catching on hehe. good story + Report this comment
Posted by 1800 2008-01-11 12:55:49 .... I am buying that 12 gauge Beretta 3901 Statesman ASAP. Ain't no bird gonna drop a load on me. + Report this comment
Posted by jakebullock 2008-01-14 10:21:30 ... fuck birds + Report this comment
Posted by deadfamilytree 2008-01-22 14:55:24 ... C.R. Vard has the right thing in mind. We hav a chicken hanging around *loads gun* Im not taking any chances...lol -i dont have a gun- + Report this comment
Posted by Egoist 2008-01-24 08:22:57 How do you think of these things? Well I thought it was pretty serious till the end, when they're carrying a warhead... Well that would be pretty scary. Nice one + Report this comment

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