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Thoughts of AA 3 |
| Written by Thomas | |
| Saturday, 29 December 2007 | |
#22 This is my purge. I guess I am bulimic. I binge on adverbs and adjectives, And throw up stanzas quick. I guess I am anorexic, Myself, I do not indulge. I restrain from having a normal life, You can see my ribs, my stomach it does not bulge. I guess that I am paralyzed, I cannot move myself. From this piece of paper, And on to something else. - December 3, 2007 #23 Such anger I have, Down deep in my soul. For that one sick person, I will put down in a hole. Put dirt on top of the six feet hole, No casket or headstone is fixed. For this was no man a beast instead, My emotions are not mixed. He deserves all he gets, In hell is where he will reside. For all eternity he must ponder, The devil, the only one he can confide. Serves him right, that’s what he gets, He is the monster not I. I am just the result of him, To him, I give no good-bye. - December 3, 2007 #24 So much joy the normal get, Am I normal, I sometimes forget? They tell me I’m functioning, So benefits I cannot receive. Benefits I need to get healthy, Are refused to me. If you ask me it’s a bunch of bullshit. So people don’t have to deal with me, And all of my problems. They tell me I’m too well, And alone I must solve them. - December 3, 2007 #25 It’s supposed to be a break, Relaxation and no stress, But instead I feel much tension, Feeling lost, inept, duress. These feelings are inside me, When I should feel care free. Three blue pills I swallow, Yet, they are placebos and do nothing for me. Since I can’t find peace I come here, To the place where I can think. Should I take three more blue pills? A white accompanied with a drink. What’s the worst that could happen? I ask myself today. What’s the worst that could happen? What can I do to make these feelings go away? Many question I ask, And only silence I get in return. I look above for answers, Yet only feel the devil’s burn. Questions, Questions, Question. These are all I wonder. Will I wake to see tomorrow? If not, will any person care; another question that I ponder. - December 19, 2007 #26 Relax and close your eyes, Drift yonder up above. Relax and close your eyes, Breathe out hate, and in, breathe love. Relax and close your eyes, The soothing sounds to your ear. Relax and close your eyes, True happiness you are near.
Relax and close your eyes, Relax and close your eyes, Take the needle from your vein. - December 19, 2007 #27 If life is like a puzzle, Many pieces mine is missing. If it is like the sounds of music, I am deaf and cannot listen. If it is like a box of chocolates, Allergic I am to these. And if it be like competition, No judges would I please. If life is like a test, A failing grade I would receive. And if it be a wedding, Left at the alter I would be. - December 19, 2007
It nears. The time in my life where I must choose an occupation. I have chosen. But will anyone read my writings of self degradation. I fear that I must move on from this past time, And find something new. Although this lonely past time, Is the only thing that can get me through. - December 19, 2007 Copyright 2007 Thomas |
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