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So there I was 4... |
| Written by Dirk | |
| Thursday, 20 December 2007 | |
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Share it:      So there I was lookin' straight down the barrel of a fully loaded Franchi SPAS15, while my right hand had paused in mid-air on its way to pick up my Remington-11. Never in all my planning had i ever considered that the unfortunate turn of events which I had experienced were ever likely to occur. A wiser man than me once said that in a war even the most meticulous plan goes out the window when you find yourself in the field. That's when the real leaders are able to take their fair share of blind luck and improvisation and come out on top. Right this moment my mind was racing, I knew that any second could see my face and guts painted all over the walls of the basement floor. "Joo," said the Nazi "Hoo are joo and vat are joo doink here?" Now I've never been one to toot my own horn, but the speed and consistency with which i can launch into an act, as unique as the situation requires, has saved my life more times than i can count. "Vell" I said as i went from my crouching position to stand and face the Deutchbag before me; "It is about time ja..." A man who cannot recognize and act upon his chances is a man full regret. And bullets. My old sensei had taught me that. The momentary distraction I had created with this unexpected response had given me what i needed to turn the situation around.When I first looked up at the Franchi SPAS15, I had recalled that it was a select action shot-gun. This kind of gun allowed the bearer to select between the pump action and semi-automatic features. To master your enemies you must master your enemies weapons. That was another little pearl from my old sensei. The kind of pearl that would precede hours upon hours of intensive weapons training.This certainly was not a cheap weapon for a goon in a supposed 'travelling circus' to be carrying, and from the uneven tilt and grip I instantly noticed he used, it was also not a weapon he was used to shooting either. As i had crouched in the first few seconds he had caught me unaware, so intent on the secret documents I had discovered, my first instinct was to inspect his weapon. Realising that the Franchi was set to semi-automatic mode, I saw my chance. As I stood and attempted my best German accent, I moved my right hand away from my gun in a slightly exagerated surrender motion. I knew his attention would be riveted on my right hand, and since he had so foolishly stood close enough for me to see the meticulous Nazi finger-prints up his nostrils, he would not notice my left hand deftly switch the lever on the side of his gun from semi-automatic to pump-action. "Um" he said "Cut the shize will joo. I know that joo are ein americanner. Joo clearly are not verring ze beloved Nazi joo-niform. Du bist ein dumkopf! Now, tell me hoo joo are before i blow joo away like a Rammstein album. Ja. Rammstein ist gut. Du hast" Inwardly i cringed at his cliche German mannerisms. The unbelievable picture the secret documents had painted became clearer with every word he said "You've got it all wrong mate. I'm an aussie!" I saw that this didn't mean anything to him, and considering where i suspected he came from, I understood why. He pointed the Franchi at my chest and started to say: "Wasse..." when i simultaneously slapped his face yelling; "Esse mein shize!' and nudged his gun with enough force that when he swung his Franchi back at me to let the blast go, the weight from his unfamiliar weapon caused him to miss me by a good foot, as i cart-wheeled over my Remington and picked it up. I pumped my shot-gun in the few seconds it took for him to register that the semi-automatic mode had been deactivated, and that his trigger was making an empty clicking sound. I casually blew away his left leg from below the knee. "Now," I said after he had stopped writhing and screaming enough to notice me standing over him with both guns in my hand " You are going to tell me something before i send you back to whatever dimension you came from. Or I can take your other leg? You decide. So tell me, WHERE IS HITLER'S CLONE?" Copyright 2007 Dirk |
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