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The Head of the Table |
| Written by Howard Miller | |
| Wednesday, 19 December 2007 | |
The Head of the Table
By: Howard Miller
Thanksgiving at Mary's parents house was
wonderful. It was a yearly gathering of all her family, from all over the
country, Her two sisters, Amy and Darlene, and her baby brother Bob, along with
their spouses and kids. They never missed a Thanksgiving. No matter what they
had to do to get there, they made it.
Mary's Dad, Bill, always stood at the head
of the table, towering over the humongous turkey, that Mary's mom, Cindy, had
been preparing all day. He was a big ex-steelworker, who has been on retirement
for over a year since they closed down the plant. Bill, always said grace, and
he reached those large hands out so that everyone could join in prayer. Even
the kids at the "pee wee" table, as they called it, joined hands in
kind,
I
envied him. I so wanted his position at the head of the table, I long for the
day when my kids and grandkids would be at my house and I would be leading the
thanksgiving prayer. But this was his time, his family, and I suppose he waited
many years until the head of the table was handed over to him.
When I first met Bill, he didn’t care for me
very much. Mary was in college earning her degree in business, while I was just a bartender at one
of the bars which surrounded the college. That's where I met Mary. She wasn't
the partier, like a lot of her sorority sisters, so I only saw her once or
twice. But, that’s all it took. I was in love.
I had no family, I was an only child. My
mother raised me as a single parent, because my father took off when he found out
she was pregnant. She died of breast cancer when I was 16. I bounced around
from foster home to foster home for a couple years then went on my own working
any job I could find.
One of the college guys that came in the bar
said his father owned a car dealership, and that they were looking for a couple
salesmen. I always had a way with people and thought I was a pretty slick
"dude" so I gave it a shot.
I not only became the top salesman there, I
bought the dealership from the owner, when he decided to retire.
So here I am a respected business man, with my
wife, Mary, with her now Masters in Business, helping me run the place. Who'd a
thought? Certainly, not Bill.
We have a good relationship now, Even though
I know he still thinks his daughter could have done better, which I guess is a
Father’s right.
The meal was wonderful, but I just didn’t
have an appetite for some reason. I usually am begging my mother-in-law for
second helpings but am struggling to get through the first.
The next day I called my doctor, to get
checked out. I just thought it was stress related, which is normal for anyone
in the car business. He said my heart and everything looked okay, but he wanted
some tests done.
Two days later, Dr. Sullivan called me to
come to his office for the results. I said, "Come on Doc, just give me the
results over the phone", but he insisted I come in. He knows how busy I am
but I obliged.
The "Doc" and I have a great
friendship, we play golf together, he ribs me about being a used car salesman
and I always respond with my patented duck quacking sound.
When I entered the office, he had this
"puss" on, as Mary calls it.
"Jim, I don’t know how to tell you this,
you have severe kidney problems, we're
going to need you to be put on a donors list immediately."
"Get the hell out of here, Doc, there's
no way." It's true Jim, without that transplant you won’t make it 3
months"
"God damn it!!" I screamed.
Mary was devastated. We decided not to tell
the kids anything until the time was right.
"The next week, I was at work trying to
tighten up any loose ends just in case. When in through the door comes Bill.
"Hey, let’s go for lunch" he said.
We drove to Clara's Diner down the street. I
was in for the greatest shock of my life. He told me he had gone to be tested
to see if he was a match and was going to donate a kidney for me.
I just stared at this man with tears in my
eyes, and as I reached over to grab on to those big hands, he told me how proud
of me he was, and how he couldn’t have picked a finer man for Mary.
The call came in. It was a miracle. He was a
match.
The day of the operation was pretty scary. Neither
of us had ever had surgery before. We lay next to each other in the pre-op. The
anesthesiologist had just given us the first stage of our sedative. Bill asked the nurse to leave so he could
talk to me before we fell asleep.
"Jim, I am passing the head of the table
to you"
"What are you talking about?", as I
can feel the anesthesia taking effect.
My Doctor told me my heart is giving out and
that I probably wouldn’t make it a year. He also told me that I probably
wouldn’t survive this surgery.
"Wait, stop this surgery!!" I tried
to yell out, but I was feeling to woozy now.
The last thing I remember was Bill saying
"I love you son."
It's Thanksgiving and all the family is
gathered around the table. It's that time for the head of the household to say
grace. As I stand up and hold my hands out for my mother-in-law on my left and
my beautiful wife, Mary on my right, I
thanked God for my wonderful family and especially for my, hero, my Dad, Bill.
Copyright 2007 Howard Miller |
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