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Dirk Spencer - Jerk Extraordinaire |
| Written by Wesley Freeman | |
| Tuesday, 18 December 2007 | |
“Well, if it isn’t little Nicki Wallace.” Dirk reached up and ruffled the slightly thinning hair of the small, lean man standing in front of him. The man cowered a little as if not wanting to have his hair ruffled, but still being afraid to offend Dirk. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in years. Remember that time in the lunch room where you tripped over my leg and your lunch tray flew up into the air and covered you and Mrs. Bernard with chilli?” Dirk roared with laughter.
“Uh,” Nick began.
“You should have seen the look on your face,” Dirk continued. “Man that was priceless. Too bad you were always such a klutz - kept everyone else laughing though.” Dirk pushed Nick playfully, causing him to take an unbalanced step backwards.
“Yeah,” Nick responded timidly.
“Wow, it is really strange to see you at the class reunion. I figured you would have been sitting at home in front of your computer with your pants around your ankles or something.” Nick cringed at this remark and looked around the room nervously to see if they were being watched. Dirk didn’t seem to notice. “So what the hell are you doing these days?”
“I, uh, am a doctor.”
“A doctor?” Dirk asked skeptically. “Oh, I see. You must be one of those ‘just for men’ doctors.” Nick looked confused at Dirk’s derisive smile, “I always figured there was something queer about you. Something in the way you walked. So when did you decide you wanted to make a job out of grabbing other men’s testicles?” Dirk laughed again.
“Uh,” Nick stammered.
“You would think a job like that would be a raw deal, but I guess you queers have your own screwed up ways of thinking. I mean, no one but a queer would find pleasure in sticking their fingers up some other guy’s butt hole. But hey, to each their own.” Dirk looked around the room past Nick, and an expression of recognition appeared on his face. “Looks like some of the cheerleaders have shown up.” Dirk began to walk in their direction, “Later queer bait.”
As Dirk made his way across the room a short, cute brunette walked towards him. “Samantha Parker!” Dirk exclaimed excitedly, “Remember me? Dirk Spencer?”
“Oh yes, I remember,” she responded flatly with a weak smile, “It’s been a long time.”
She walked past him and Dirk turned to follow, “How have you been, Sam?”
Samantha stopped and handed a glass of water to Nick.
“Drinking water huh?” Dirk asked sarcastically.
“Of course,” Samantha said, “My husband is on call.” Samantha paused for a moment and then took a step closer to Dirk. She leaned towards him and in a quiet, innocent voice asked, “Say Dirk, a couple people said you had a nervous breakdown when you lost your job and your wife left you. Whatever happened?”
Nick smiled slightly at the dumbfounded look on Dirk’s face as Samantha and he turned to walk away.
Copyright 2007 Wesley Freeman |
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| Last Updated ( Sunday, 04 May 2008 ) |
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