Joey threw the younger man to the frostbitten ground, his turquoise eyes glowing with sick satisfaction as he made weak attempts to struggle to his feet.

‘You ****** up Toby,’ he growled, eyeing the blonde man before him angrily, ‘and you ain’t gonna do it again.’ He smirked wickedly as his captive struggled in his iron grip, the putrid smell of sweat and fear filling his nostrils like a noxious gas.

‘Now,’ he pinned Toby to the grimy wall, the two men panted in time with each other, drawing rough breaths into their icy lungs. ‘You gonna talk?’ he leant in close enough to smell the other man’s aftershave, revelling in the broken glare of his startling olive eyes.

He shook his head slowly at the silence, his ebony hair flicking at his eyes. ‘We were gonna be so good together.’ his voice filled with genuine remorse at the months gone by, ‘ahh well.’ The knuckle-dusters glinted in the moonlight as he drew his fist back quickly, plunging it into the other man’s chest, the soft crunch of bone bringing the sickly smile back to his pallid face.

Toby let out an unwilling cry of pain, flinching at his own weakness, a lump rising like vomit in his throat.

‘Hurt does it?’ Joey drawled, throwing him roughly against the other wall. 

************* 

The Beginning… 

I wandered slowly down the dark alley, the bass from the club I’d left echoing my ears, the damp smell of decay filled my nostrils, the soft dripping of a rain pipe hammering in time with my pounding heart.

I felt, rather than saw someone watching me, my thoughts flashed to the fists of the drunken man as he chased me from the bar, his slurred insults clawed at the seams of my mind. I spun around, my hand at the gun on my belt, my thoughts racing, I saw no one.

It was when I turned back that I saw her; first, I thought it was one of the many homeless men that littered the streets. The ragged clothes had lead me astray, it was a girl, no older than myself, and I was only twenty-four.

‘You alright?’ I asked softly, crouching in front of her, wondering what the night had already brought for the small woman, my hand still hovered over the holster.She glanced up, her hazel eyes, hidden behind a curtain of brunette hair met mine. I paused, a pilot light flickering on in the back of my mind.

‘Jess?’ It was impossible, the girl I’d left six years ago to pursue a life under the artificial glare of the street lamps. She tilted her head slightly to the right, her face was unmistakable, she possessed a beauty unappreciated in the world of emaciated models I now inhabited. Her eyes had once glowed with a passion for life, a love for the Lord above, they looked defeated now, driven away by an overwhelming sadness. Her heart shaped mouth, forever echoing with laughter was silent, a frown creasing her soft complexion. ‘Jessica?’

‘It’s me, Tobias.’ I bit my lip, my throat clawed at itself in nervous anticipation.

Her mouth opened, as if to say something, but the words were lost. I saw the wheels turning behind her startling eyes, it was her, she’d recognised me.

I pulled her hastily to her feet, hugging her shivering frame close; she’d grown no taller since we’d last seen each other, the top of her head just reached my shoulder.

‘What’s happened? Why? How did you even get here?’ I held her at arms length, pelting questions at her, desperately trying to keep up with my racing mind.

I brushed the curls from her eyes, peering into their depths for an answer, pulling her to me again as she swayed on her feet.

‘There’s no one with you?'

She shook her head, any verbal reply lost in my chestnut suede jacket as she quivered in my arms.

‘Alright, come with me.’ 

**

An unmistakable feeling of uneasy danger washed over us as he neared my apartment, one that I immediately associated with Joey.

Abandoning chivalry, I stepped tentatively over the dark threshold, pulling Jess roughly behind me, the other hand at my gun.

He was in the kitchen, slouching against the timber doorframe, I heard Jess’s sharp intake of breath behind me at the sight. He was impossible to miss, Joey was someone no one would ever miss in a crowded room, his overpowering presence stared down at anyone who dared question him. He had the facial structure of a classically handsome man, his turquoise eyes shone with a passion I could never bring myself to understand.

 ‘Not interrupting anything, am I?’ he smirked, his tone maintain a deadly charm as he eyed Jessica with interest.

‘What do you want?’ I muttered, aware I was treading on thin ice but I needed him to leave.

‘Just to see you,’ he pushed himself away from the wall, sauntering towards us, his eyes never straying from mine, ‘and to ask you some questions.’

We left Jess on the lounge; our conversation was only to be heard on the balcony. I breathed in the night air, relishing it after the stuffy warmth of the apartment. Joey stared down at the cars below, running his long fingers along the small iron table.

‘What it is?’ Joey was never around for long, I wasn’t willing to make tonight any exception.

‘You batting for both teams now?’ he eyed me angrily, leaning back on the metal railing.

‘No, she’s a friend from where I used to live.’ The word friend was always lost on Joey. ‘That’s not why you’re here.

‘You got a new job,’ he replied quickly, suddenly eager to leave.

‘And?’

‘Wait,’ he pulled a cigarette from his pocket, his hands shook as she shoved it roughly into the corner of his mouth. I frowned, it was a dirty habit, one I’d been brought up against, and there he was smoking on my property. ‘For one, stay alive.’ There was a note of urgency in his voice, one that told me he was unwilling to unleash such a burden onto my shoulders. ‘Two, she can’t stay.’ He glanced into the lounge room before his eyes flicked angrily back to me. ‘Three, they know about us.’ My eyes widened, the consequences were unimaginable, I shuddered at the thought. ‘Four,’ he sighed, ‘you gotta take him out.’

My stomach rolled, I felt my knees weaken, he was crazy, I wasn’t ready, not to take down the most infamous drug lord in over a century. I’d only been with them for three years; it was insane, it was impossible.

‘Why me?’

He shrugged simply, throwing his cigarette into the street below.‘Gotta go.’ He barged forward; I blocked his path, shaking my head urgently.

‘You have to tell them I can’t.’

‘Can’t.’ his voice was tight; I could see the bugs crawling under his skin.

‘What are they gonna do? About us?’

He stopped, allowing eye contact before shrugging and pushing roughly past me, the front door slammed in my ears seconds later.

When I had control of my limbs, I walked stiffly into the lounge room, eager to hear Jess’s story she hadn’t spoken a word yet and I was growing more anxious by the second.

She sat bolt upright on the edge of the expensive lounge, her hands in her lap, her gaze focused on the ground at her feet. She was raised not to feel vanity but it seemed impossible, her ragged chestnut dress jutting out from the spotless lounge room like a sapling on a cliff face.

‘Jess.’ I sighed, lowering myself into the black leather armchair sitting beside her. She glanced nervously I my direction, her shame laced silenced screaming more than I ever could strumming at my vocal chords.

‘You need to tell me what happened, I can’t help you otherwise.’ I hesitated to add that she was the walking dead while she stayed with me.

‘I honestly don’t think you can help me.’ she replied softly, her voice filled with defeat without demanding sympathy. ‘Meidun.’  she added, her eyes remaining focused on her feet, a frown creased my face, she blushed scarlet as my mind raced, that Jessica of all people could be shunned from the small Amish community which we grew up in was unimaginable. We’d been brought up the same way, happily following the Lord’s word, Jess wished nothing more than to grow old and die with those she loved while the feeling of belonging lost its shine when I discovered I was gay. They still happily kept in contact with me through letters and hour-long phone calls from the run down phone box.

‘Why?’ The word barely escaped my lips.

‘I’m pregnant.’

She glanced up at me, the horrible pause that followed lasting for eternity as I searched for words.

‘Why? I mean how? No, I can’t imagine-’ I trailed off, my face burning as I dug myself deeper into the abyss.

‘It was no choice of mine.’ My heart stopped, tearing at its sinewy binds.

‘Jess, no. God.’ I felt a surge of vomit rise in my throat. ‘Who? Why did you get sent away?’ I held my breath.

‘I asked the help of one of the English, I shouldn’t have, it was wrong.’ Her voice fed the fire I my heart, reminding me of the blatant ignorance of the small community.

‘No, this is wrong, you can’t let it happen.’

‘It’s already done.’ She spoke quietly, with finality, it was over to her.

‘You did nothing wrong Jess.’ We both knew it was true but it was too much for her to agree. She had grown to hold her heart above her head; she would never be able to simply turn her back on everyone as I had.

She had praised the Lord without question while I’d refused to colour within the lines of our old world, writing my own history when I’d left for Rumspringa at the age of seventeen without turning back. I’d vanished into the maze of towers, met Joey and the rest, as they say, is history. Jess had followed me initially but had been unable to live under the harsh glare of the street lamps, unable to sleep with traffic barraging her ears.

‘I can leave if its too much for you.’ I jumped, realising I’d been staring at her.

‘No, its fine, stay as long as you need, just let me sort out this thing with Joey.’

‘He’s the one you stayed for?’ she was struggling desperately to shift the limelight away from her.

‘Yeah,’ I spoke slowly, unsure of myself. I knew I never could’ve left the city, it would’ve been to dangerous. I had no other option than to stay with Joey, he’d taken me in and I was forced to question myself at every turn I our relationship. I disliked every one of his qualities as a whole he was unbeatable, insane, but I was forced to stay with him.

‘It won’t be too much for you will it?’ I asked, I’d taken long enough to settle in with Joey, Jess would find it impossible.

‘No it’s just different from home.’

‘How long does it last?’

‘Until the baby’s born.’ She glanced down at her stomach as if finding it hard to comprehend carrying a life.

‘You can stay with me. Have you gone to the doctors yet?’

Her eyes widened unwillingly, I saw the fear hidden in their depths at the thought of a stranger helping her with her unborn child.

‘I’ll help you; you can’t go without really, if you want the baby to be healthy.’

‘Thank you.’ Her voice was unsteady, quivering with trepidation.

*************

I tapped impatiently on the cheap plastic chair. I frowned, glancing around the dilapidated waiting room, it was taking too long. The first appointment had taken forty minutes, if that, I’d been breathing in the harsh smell of chemicals for nearly two hours. Something was wrong; the happy voices from last time had been replaced with a cheap silence. Joey had insisted on changing doctors, he hadn’t given me a reason, I was just to follow his word, I made a silent vow to never trust the bloodthirsty drug lord again.

Loosing patience I stormed over to the cut-price door, hammering on the chipboard, there was no reply, only the sound of leather on leather, someone struggling, Jessica.

 Ripping the gun from its holster I shot out the hinges, when the door hit the ground, when the hailing debris cleared, there was only a deathly silence. The ‘doctor’ was nowhere in sight.

Jess slumped in the centre of the room; she stared blankly at the ceiling with dilated pupils. The floor was covered in blood; it dripped from a deep gash in her stomach. I heaved when I saw the tiny corpse lying curled up on the floor.

‘Jess.’ I felt the tears spring to my eyes as I ran towards her, my shoes slipping on the crimson lake. She stared up at me for an eternity as I struggled to untie the bonds before tears began to run silently down her face.

I pulled her close, feeling her blood soaking into my shirt; I tied it roughly round her, hoping to stem the flow of blood. I ripped out my phone, the breath held in my throat to yell at Joey as I punched in his number. It clicked almost immediately and his slow drawl butted into my thoughts. I screamed in anger as I hurled it at the fibro wall, it shattered into thousands of pieces, the shrapnel falling with repulsive drips into the growing puddle.

‘You’re gonna be-ok-’ my shaken assurance fell on deaf ears; she’d collapsed in a bloody heap on the floor. I dropped to my knees beside her the sickening crimson clawing at my jeans, held fast in stale mate, there was nothing I could do, I couldn’t call the ambulance, it would be impossible to explain.

She was still tied to the baby, the pulsing chord sucking the life from her to feed a loss child. Staring down upon her with a pair of surgical scissors clutched in my hand I was the only one who could save her. I knew she’d loose a lot of blood but I hoped it was the lesser evil. My gut wrenched as the steel cut through the shared flesh, my throat clawing at itself to keep the bile down. Throwing the scissors at the opposite wall, I tied the rope in a rough knot.

Her face was cold against mine; her breathing was inaudible above my pounding heart.

**

‘It wasn’t s’posed to happen.’ Joey raised his hands in a gesture of self-defence as we circled each other in the lounge room where he’d first met Jess.

‘So you ask a guy to cut someone open,’ my voice was shaking, the tears burning at my eyes, ‘and you think they’ll just walk away?’

‘Away from you.’

‘I had to watch my best friend die because you’re a jealous bastard.’ I choked, flinching unwillingly at my own use of the word.

He advanced on me, his eyes glowing with anger, dropping all pretence of kindness. ‘And you don’t give me reason?’ he roared, throwing me against the ivory wall, a crack split its perfect surface as I slid to the floor.

‘I’ve never done anything. Why don’t you believe me?’ I pulled myself to me feet, feeling a trickle of blood down my neck.

‘I can’t.’ His voice was deathly quiet, his voice filled with remorse.

‘I watched her die Joey.’ He backed away as I walked slowly towards him, my hands clasped together, pleading for him to understand. ‘She was my best friend. God knows she went through enough, she hated the city, she had nowhere else to go. If I’d stayed, she’d be fine. I shouldn’t have stayed here.’ He’d backed into a chair and was watching awkwardly as I pace back and forth in front of him, wringing my hands as if trying to wash away her blood.

‘Why would you do it?’ my knees buckled and I stared up at him, my hands clasped together on his knees.

‘Because I love you.’

*************

‘Joey,’ Tobias stepped towards his warily, disappointment creasing his face greater than age ever could. ‘It’s all over.’

Joey dropped to his knees, the snow biting into his designer jeans, the gun at the back of his head whispered in his ear, he was going to die, Joe Loccatelli, infamous gang leader, the ruler of the empire than had overruled the underworld for nearly a century, had only minutes of his indulgent lifestyle left to live.

‘I love you.’ He whimpered, trying a new route, dropping the front he’d held while the other gang members had watched. His eyes darted from grimy wall to the frozen gravel below him. 

I loved you too but it was never enough. I would never let the words pass my lips. 

‘You did this.’ His voice was colder than the frostbitten windows that glared down on the pair. ‘You made me do this. You literally knocked on my door and ordered me to take you out.’  

My thoughts were racing, violence was never an assurance of safety, in only ever brought more, falling over itself in a vicious cycle. My finger trembled at the trigger, I couldn’t do it. 

‘You’re lying, it was them.’ He screeched, his voice climbing the registers at an alarming rate. ‘Why the hell would I do that?’

‘It was you.’ Tobias spoke slowly, his mind flashing back to the night in the psychologist’s office. ‘The drugs are likely to make him go insane, ignore his small slippages, it’s not until he makes a big mistake that you need to worry.’  This was his big mistake. ‘You’re not well Joey.’

‘But-I don’t remember.’ He stuttered, wringing his hands, twisting the joints dangerously, his turquoise eyes glowing with fear. He collapsed onto the melting ice of the alley. Tobias stared down at him, the barrel still aimed at his head. 

My heart tore, I was staring down at the man who’d stolen me from my home, he’d murdered my best friend, I fought to stay in control, determined to finish what I’d started. The gun slipped from my hand, landing with a splash in the puddle below. I had too much heart for the business, the same thing had been repeated over and over, every day of my training. I couldn’t even kill the man I’d been forced to feign love for, it was true, once Joey had cast a spell over you, it stuck, I was caught in his trap, entangled in his web of lies. I dropped to my knees beside him, running my shaking fingers through his dark hair.

‘It’s you.’ Joey murmured softly, his mind fraying at the seams as he stared up at his lover.

‘Who else would it be?’ Tobias smiled softly, pulling him to his feet, he was soaked head to toe, shivering as the icy wind tore at his limbs.

‘You’re one of them.’ Joey shook his head slowly, the paranoia ripping at his heart.They both glanced at the gun. Lying useless in a puddle of melted snow, their eyes met, silver flashed through the air, adorning Joey’s fist like jewellery.

‘I’m not.’ Tobias spat a loose tooth at the ground,  hauling himself to his feet. The gun was in his hand, he almost had control, almost.

‘You are.’ Joey’s eyes startling blue eyes gleamed with a thirst for blood. ‘You ****** up Toby. And you ain’t gonna do it again.’ He grabbed his lover by the collar of his ebony silk shirt, one he’d paid for himself. Pinning him against the slimy bricks, he growled ‘Now, you gonna talk?’ He was close enough to smell his expensive aftershave, to glare into those eyes for one last time, the passion lost in his shattered olive gaze.

‘We were gonna be so good together.’ He shook his head sadly as he spoke, the smirk still playing on his thin lips. ‘Ahh well.’  He drew his fist quickly back, his eyes colder than the steel glinting maliciously at his thin fingers.

Tobias flinched at the crunch of bone, an unwilling cry of pain bursting from his lips.

‘Hurt does it?’ Joey drawled, hauling him at the opposite wall. His partner sunk to the icy street, his broken ribs pressing at his lungs.

‘Just tell me one thing.’ The smile vanished from  Joey’s face as he knelt on his old friend’s ribcage, feeling the bone give way beneath him, puncturing the soft tissue below. ‘Where were you all those nights?’

‘I was out.’ he choked, the blood bubbling from his lips. ‘This is the end of you.’ Summoning all his strength he kicked the other man off him, rolling to kick him in the ribs.

Joey staggered to his feet, the look of a lunatic burning in his eyes.

The shot burst through the air, shocking them both, Joey’s knees buckled in pain, he sunk to the ground beside his partner, the snow snapping at his wound.Their eyes met, an eternity passing by in their depths.

‘Got you now.’ Tobias gasped, a smile flickering in his eyes, his lip trembling from the pain and cold.

The senior deputy strolled over to the pair, a well-aimed shot obliterating Joey’s right hand as he grasped desperately at the gun.

‘You did good Toby mate.’ He smiled, his moustache quivering under his thick Irish accent. ‘Now Mr Loccatelli, you’re under arrest for murder, assault, the possession and distribution of illicit substances and weapons.

Joey’s brow creased, the pain tying his tongue in knots.

‘I was trained.’ Toby croaked. ‘I didn’t run straight from my home to your door. It was a trap.’ A smile danced on his face before they both lost all consciousness.

Under the watchful eye of senior deputy Dylan Bourne, the star-crossed lovers were hauled into ambulances, speeding away into the night, sirens blaring.

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Posted by Somewiredkid 2008-02-13 19:47:30 ... Work on formatting please! + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-03-04 21:55:57 .... This was very interesting, you write narration well. I would have liked to have seen an 'ex-amishman' speak with more of an amish accent, if there be such thing, english + Report this comment

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