- Mike? – Jenny looks at him, and then on me, her eyes become watery, and she is about to start crying, like a child whose toy was taken away. She holds it back. – But you told me you will break up with Michelle by the time you get back?

No one says a word, I’m sitting in my chair and smoking one of my favorite cigarettes, the moment is full of enjoyment: I’m finally going to destroy the **** in front of everyone. It’s time for her to go.

- I didn’t know that you know Jenny, Mike? – I say.

- Her name is Sarah, and we go to school together, that’s all, we are just friends. Nothing else… Michelle… where are you going now?

- I’m going home – she hangs for a second at the door – I knew you have someone else in Washington. Well, what can I say…? Fiona, let’s go, and you Mike… Go **** yourself and your little *****. – She smashes the door.

That was a hit, I felt a weird emotion, on one hand I felt bad for the girl, because she was a bate, on the other hand I felt amazingly good that the **** won’t be using my kitchen anymore. It’s a minor confusion though about what has just happened between me and Carol. Of course my brother is not smart enough to understand what happened, but Angela and Carol are. They probably think that it was funny.

- Nice job, Billy… - says Carol, - that turns me on so bad.

- Hmm, I was expecting something like this from you; I know how you don’t like Michelle… She’s not one of us… - says Angela, - and she never will be.

Jenny still stands there by the door, and no one really shows any interest in her. If you lose: go ahead, but get a lesson from it. Something like, don’t trust strangers and don’t make up thousands of names that you’re going to use. I felt a little bit dizzy, and I went up to Carol, I couldn’t hold it anymore, and I kissed her on the lips. It was a deep kiss that probably would be featured in movies as one of the hottest kisses ever seen. Our lips got separated and I could see a second like spark between our eyes. I turned around.

- I’m going home, how about you guys? You need a ride? I have a tough day tomorrow, remember, I have to do some **** for my school and for my portfolio. So please, if you’re staying, make sure you put everything in this room where it belongs. Mike, are you coming?

- Yes, I think we need to talk.

- Very well, a bientot!

I leave the room and walk towards the exit, Mike walks right next to me – he doesn’t say a word. What is there to say, or maybe he’s waiting for something. We get in a limo soon, and the door closes.

- Why did you do it? – He asks.

- You know why, don’t ask stupid questions, okay. I did it because I wanted to.

- Yeah, it’s your answer to anything, "because I wanted to". But I just don’t understand, why can’t you let me be who I want to be. Can you explain it?

- No, I’m sorry, but I can’t. Maybe because I don’t see who you want to be.

- Bill, you started playing these games, and now you’re playing them with me, I feel like I’m going to get back at you, and I doubt it’s going to be pretty.

- What are you planning out Mike? Revenge? You know it’s not going to happen. You know how my life goes, you know all of me, and there are no weak spots, and if there were: look at them now, they are just blocked completely. I don’t know what do you expect?

- I will take something that you feel most precious about, something that you cherish. I’ll take Carol away from you. Your heart will be broken, I’ll prove the world that you have it, and you’ll know when it hurts, and you’ll know how I feel.

- I have a heart, and it doesn’t need any proof. Besides I think you may need to wait, because I’m going on a trip soon, I need to get inspired and maybe see how other people live.

- You’re going to escape again, like you do it when you’re afraid?

- No, fine, I can’t believe I’m so predictable. I will stay, but just to play this game that you’re about to start playing, I don’t think it’s going to be interesting enough, besides, you won’t stand even 5 minutes with Carol, she’s way too good for you.

- If you say so, in a meanwhile, I have another thing in my mind, Bill.

- What is it?

- I think our parents are about to return from the trip. I think we should cool down the games for a while.

- Fine, Mike. As you wish.

The rest of the way home we spent in silence, and when we got home we said good night to each other, and went to our rooms. The phone is in my hand, but I dare not to dial her number, I guess my brother was right – I have a heart, but it’s hidden deep inside. What is there sometimes I ask myself, behind that mask of arrogance and confidence, behind that flirty bastard. Only one person knows, and it’s me, only me. I went to my table, took the stylus and turned it upside down; there is a little button on it. I press it – and here is the key. The Key to my darkest secrets and to the labyrinths of my soul, the Key to everything that ever was in my heart and soul. It’s my Book, It’s my Journal.

NOTE FOR TODAY: sometimes you play games, and then the games start playing you, stop right there and then and listen, without the love to your own words, listen carefully and you will hear how your heart beats, maybe this is the perfect time to stop, or is it just a sign of danger. One friend once said to me: never play with love, in the end you always end up hurt… Make steps with a pauses, so that you won’t pass the same road again and again.

Number four: 11-28-07

Copyright 2007 Konstantin Tskhay

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