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Dave could hear screams from the far room. His heart raced as his feet edged him ever closer to the door. The screams had subsided, but he could still hear the horse voice of...a man. He dared not open the door, not wanting to see what was on the far side. Remembering his pistol holseted at his side, he unclipped it and carfully flicked off the saftly. All of the sudden, he heard a buzzing mechanical noise. It sounded to him like a saw of some sort. His heart was now in his ears a deep cakkled preseaded a un-worldly scream. Even behind the closed door, dave could hear the ripping of flesh.

Copyright 2007 Bic Spalding

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Comments (6)

Posted by Terry Collett 2007-12-05 01:09:03 .... Interesting but short. + Report this comment
Posted by tarhead 2007-12-05 02:33:00 hello bic it read sorta like a movie trailer, and left me wanting to read the rest of the story... know what i mean? + Report this comment
Posted by Mr. Mean Dove 2007-12-05 03:09:21 .... Got to agree. This needs to be expanded on. It's not terribly original either. But is well writen. + Report this comment
Posted by Kaelthos 2007-12-05 11:05:22 .... It's a great start, I would say that you could probubly write much more just from this start, all the detail is quite gripping. I would suggest you go forward with this and make it more than a short story + Report this comment
Posted by stix9999 2007-12-07 09:09:32 .... Kept getting caught up in the misspellings. Spell check? Good beyond that though.. + Report this comment
Posted by thirteen 2008-04-03 01:01:45 .... Shame you didn't write more, you could of done so much more with this. + Report this comment

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