My name is Jon, and I would like take this time to write about my recovery with a disease called "addiction." It gets inside of the body, and after a while opens up like a flower and makes the person a different character. Before I became addicted, I had a big brother. His name was August, and he was amazing. My parents named him August because he was born on that month, and they didn’t know what to name their first born. When my brother died, I felt dead inside. I was fifteen when he died, and during the funeral, something strange happened. I didn’t cry. I mean, I felt sad and heartbroken, but no tears were flowing down my face to show my heartbroken emotions. A few years later, after dealing with the loss, I gained something called "depression." That was my addiction. Inside, I don’t want to die, but I hate dreaming and seeing the cold world that surrounds me. Now I’m 22, hiding the pain. My life is going great for once. Good job being a movie critic, good friends, and talking to a beautiful girl named Elishia. Running from my past is the best thing that ever happened to me.

I walked in Friday morning, ready to write my review on a movie I have just seen. I sat down about to write the outline and get ready with the paper, when a good friend of mine, Dillon, came up to me.

"Jon, can I talk to you for a little bit?" Dillon said sitting on my table and playing with one of my pens in my pen cup. I gave him a look to try and tell him to get off, but he wasn’t paying attention.

"If you want me to do something for you, I’m a little busy if you can’t see already," I said to him trying to give him a hint that I have a paper due Monday morning and I want this paper done so I have the weekend to myself.

"Oh yeah I see you working hard as usual, but I do need to talk to you," he said to me getting off the table and looking down on me. I slowly looked at him and looked in his eyes.

"What do you want?" I said still sitting holding my outline in my hands.

"I need you to meet someone," he said putting his hands down on my desk resting.

"Who is it?"

"I want you to meet this little boy," Dillon said. I laughed to myself asking if Dillon was actually serious.

"Why do I need to meet a little boy?"

"I was at the hospital seeing Rachel, and she was taking care of this little boy, and he asked if I knew you. I said yes and he said he wants to talk to you," Dillon says straightening up seeing the boss coming out of the office. I sat there thinking to myself what little do boys I know and I knew I didn’t know any.

"He’s at the hospital?" I asked Dillon.

"Yeah," he replied.

"What’s his name?"

"He told me his name was Michael," Dillon said walking off seeing the boss catching him slacking off. I laughed at Dillon, but quickly stopped to think about this little boy named Michael who knows me.

Before I knew it, I saw myself looking at the hospital looking at the top seeing a cross. I walked towards the doors asking myself why I am here. I walked in and right away saw Rachel handing papers to the person behind the counter. I didn’t know where this boy was, so I caught up to her and asked her. She told the room number was room 34.

I took the elevator to the second floor and looked at the doors to see the numbers. I saw that each room had a cross in the middle of the two numbers. I saw room 21 with a cross in the middle, and I asked if they think God is there for them. "Crosses are everywhere," I said to myself looking and finally finding room 34. I stopped and asked again why I’m here, then told myself to shut up and slowly opened the door. I walked in as slow as possible. It was dark, with the only light shining coming from the sun blazing through the shut blinds. I could see the end of the bed, with a dark green curtain blocking the rest. So I walked more into the room, and pasted the curtain to see a little boy lying in the bed. I looked at his dark hair; his eyes closed, and saw him sleeping. I turned around and saw a chair sitting in front of the bed. For some reason, I didn’t decide to leave. Instead, I sat down and continued to look at this helpless boy.

"Hello?" I heard in the darkness in my mind. I opened my eyes and saw the little boy sitting up staring at me.

"Oh I’m sorry to startle you son, my friend said you knew me," I told him trying not to scare him.

"Who are you?" The little boy asked.

"Oh I’m sorry, my name is Jon," I answered.

"Oh you’re Jon. Well nice to meet you Jon, my name is Michael," the little boy said giving a smile.

"How do you know me?" I asked him wanting to get this question out of the way.

"I was reading one of your movie reviews in the paper and one of your co-workers came in here and I asked if he knew you. When he said yes, I told him I wanted to meet you," he said. I looked at the table right beside him and saw the newspaper with my review open. I smiled a little.

"Well, happy to meet a fan I guess," I told him. Now I was a little more relaxed.

"Can I ask you something Mr.?" Michael said. I laughed when he called me that.

"You can call me Jon Michael, and yes you can ask me anything," I said looking at him.

"I wanted to know if I could write a review," he said.

"Well of course you can Michael. What movie did you want to do it on?" I asked him all excited.

"I don’t really want to do it on a movie. If its ok, I would like to write a review about you," he said hoping for me to say it’s ok.

"I don’t see why not Michael. So like an interview?" I said laughing. Michael laughed as well and said, "Yes! That’s what I want to do!" I saw Michael really happy now, and I felt really good to make this kid happy.

"Well ask away Michael," I said ready to answer. Michael sat there and told me to hang on as he thought. I sat there waiting and seeing him really think of some good questions.

"Alright you ready?" Michael asked me.

"I’m ready Michael," I said sitting up on the chair.

"Do you have any secrets?" Michael asked looking for a pen around him. I would have helped him find one, but when he asked that question, my past suddenly came into my mind. I sat there frozen remembering the memories.

"You don’t want to hear my secrets," I finally said. I looked at Michael and saw him with a pen and paper ready to write.

"Why not Mr. Jon?"

"It’s too much drama," I said laughing.

"It’s ok if you don’t want to tell me," he said smiling. I smiled back and answered the rest of his questions.

That night, I walked into my apartment to find my love, Elishia.

"Hey, wow! You’re home late! Did you go and cheat on me or something?" She said laughing as I laughed and gave her a kiss. I began to tell her my incredible day as I walked to the dinner table.

"Honey, I met this little boy named Michael and he interviewed me today and he is really a great kid," I said taking my seat with a smile on my face. Elishia stays in the kitchen and talks to me as she gets the food ready.

"Wow, so your new best friend is a little boy?" She said laughing a little.

"No, I just went in to see him; and I’m thinking going everyday and seeing him. He really is something of beautiful," I said to her.

"Where did you meet him?"

"In the hospital," I said to her.

"Oh that is so sad. What’s wrong with him?" She said forgetting the food and walking towards me.

"It’s nothing to serious, he has pneumonia; the sad thing is that his parents left him and put him up for adoption. An older couple brought him in to their world. He said when he turned eight, they both pasted away in the same year. He is ten years old now, and he is a smart little thing," I said to her. I looked in her eyes and I saw sadness.

"That is really sad Jon," she said.

"From what I could tell from today, he is a tough kid and he will pull through. I feel something special with this boy," I told her.

The next day finally came around. I was really excited to see Michael again. I wanted to know more about him.

I saw myself opening the room door and walking in to see Michael smiling. I could tell he had been waiting for me.

"Hey Mr. Jon!" Michael said to me sitting up in the bed.

"Hey Michael, how have you been doing today?"

"I’ve been better," he said laughing. I laughed with him.

"So Michael, I have another question for you," I told him. I looked at him and I could tell he looked excited. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Michael sat there and thought for a while.

"I would like to make films," he told me.

"Wow that is awesome! Why is that?"

"So you can review my movie and say that it was the best movie you have ever seen," he said looking at me. At that moment, I felt something. I don’t know what it was, but I wish I did because that feeling felt really well.

"Of course I will review your movie! I would be honored Michael," I said looking at him smile with joy.

The next few days were exactly like this. Talking, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company. Talking about what he likes to do for fun and then talking about what I do for fun. We talked about my job, my buddy Dillon, and of course Elishia. Michael was making my day everyday. If I didn’t see Michael one day, I couldn’t wait until the next day because I would have so much to talk about with him.

Now it was the beginning of the seventh week. I walked in just like usual to see Michael, but today was different.

I walked to the bed and saw Michael.

"Hey Michael, how’s my buddy doing?" I asked him taking my seat in the chair I always sit in. He looked at me and said, "I’m doing ok. I’m feeling kind of sick," he said. I looked at him and I could tell he was in pain.

"Don’t worry about that Michael. The nurse will bring you some medicine to make it all go away," I told him giving him hope. He gave me a smile.

"I was wondering if we could talk about something Mr. Jon," he said to me.

"Yeah; sure buddy. What is it?"

"I was wondering, since we know each other, if you could tell me your secret now," he said. I looked at him and told myself to tell him no.

"I don’t like to talk about it."

"I know I’m just a little kid, but I remember something my father told me before he pasted away. He told me to never hide yourself from the world," he told me. I gave him a smile.

"Your father seemed like a smart man," I said remembering the memories again.

"I’ll never forget him," he told me.

"My brother left me when I was young," I finally said out loud. It’s been so long since I brought my brother up out loud in front of someone. I looked at Michael.

"Where did he go?" He asked. I tried to speak, but for some reason I couldn’t. I didn’t want to talk about it. "You can tell me Mr. Jon. Just think of me as your angel," he said trying to give me strength. I smiled and I could feel my heart pounding a little faster.

"My brother pasted away just like your father when I was young," I said. I put my head down, because I could feel my face turning red.

"I bet your brother was really cool," he said to me. I smiled looking at the floor remembering the times of my brother and me.

"He really was Michael. I remember this one time I wanted to see this movie, but of course I was too young. My mom made him take me to see another movie, but he told me he wasn’t going to leave me and he went with me to see another movie," I told him.

"Wow, your brother was really cool," Michael said to me. After he said that, there was a silence in the air as I took in the memories.

"Did you cry when he died?" Michael asked. I smiled and shook my head.

"No Michael; I did not cry when he left me."

"Why not? If you don’t mind me asking," he said to me.

"I really do not know Michael. I felt sad, but I never showed it physically," I said back.

"Can I ask you something Mr. Jon?" Michael asked. I smiled thinking that was the end of the conversation.

"Sure thing," I replied.

"Do you believe in God and Heaven?" Michael asked. I sat there silent taking in the question. If there was a God, I felt like he took my only friend from me. I looked at Michael.

"I don’t know," is the only thing I could think of to say. "What about you Michael? You have faith?" I asked him.

"You better believe it," is all he said.

That night I saw myself looking at the ceiling in the dark lying in my bed. I looked to my right and saw my love.

"Honey, you awake?" I asked hoping to get an answer.

"What do you want baby?" She said. Her eyes were still closed.

"What if I adopted Michael?" I said. I looked at her and saw her eyes open with a smile.

"That’s your decision Jon. I can’t make that choice for you. It would be lovely to meet him though," she said.

That’s what I did for her the next day. I walked in the room and called for Michael.

"Hey Mr. Jon!" Michael said sitting up in his bed.

"Hey, there is someone I would like for you to meet," I said pulling Elishia out from the curtain.

"Hello," Michael said to her. I looked at my wife and I saw the biggest smile on her face.

"Hi Michael. I have heard a lot about you," she tells him.

"Jon said you were beautiful. You like an angel," he said to her. I looked in her eyes and I saw tears of happiness coming down her left cheek. I looked at her letting her know she could leave the room for some air, and she did. I stayed and walked towards Michael.

"Michael, I was wondering if you had a second," I said to him.

"Of course I do, I’m not going anywhere," he said with a big smile.

"I have been thinking about these past few weeks that we have been going through together…and I was thinking about something," I said trying to just tell him. "How would you feel, when you get better, if you came and lived with me?" I said implying that I want to adopt him. I looked at him and it looked like he was speechless.

"That would be amazing Mr. Jon," he finally said with the biggest smile. I smiled back with joy.

My life was beginning to change. I could feel it deep inside my soul. I wasn’t hiding myself anymore. I talked more about my brother with Elishia, and took in the memories. My addiction that I had was suddenly gone. I had to tell Michael what he did. It was him that made me come out.

The next day I went to hospital as usual and went to room 34 to see Michael. I walked in the room.

"Michael?" I said walking past the curtain to see no one in the bed. I quickly ran out of the room and went to the woman behind the counter.

"Where is Michael?" I told her in a panic.

"Who is Michael?" The woman asked me.

"Room 34! The kid that was in room 34! Where is he?"

It felt like a movie; cutting from that scene to me looking at Michael through a window with all this stuff on his face to help him breathe better. I saw his innocent eyes shut, and I saw my friend, my best friend, lying there helpless.

I walked in slowly and took another look at him. I walked to him and saw a chair right beside the bed. I took a seat and just sat there looking at my future son.

"Hey Michael…" I looked at him and I didn’t know if he can hear me or not. "I know you’re going to pull through big guy," I said. I put my hands into a fist and put them on the bed. "You know, before you came into my life, I was a miserable person. Dreaming every night about my past and waking up with anger wanting to leave this world," I said to him. I smiled. "You make my day every time I see you Michael. Your laugh, your smile, and your heart make me feel like I can do anything," I said shaking. For once, out of my entire life, my face showed my emotion I was feeling inside. "Please…Michael…please don’t leave me," I said feeling my eyes fill up with sadness. A second later, I felt a tear run down my cheek. My entire body became cold and a chill went up my spine and shot through my entire body. "You can’t leave me now…I need you…" I said. By now, I could feel more tears running down my cheek. I stopped talking. I took a breath and shook from my body being cold inside. I grabbed his hand and felt him for the first time.

"I’m your little angel," I heard him whisper with his eyes barely open looking at me. I coughed trying to smile and laugh, but the tears kept coming.

"Yes you are Michael…you are my angel…" is all I could say before the tears took over my emotions. I sat there crying. I don’t know how long, but I didn’t care.

"Jon…?" I heard him say. I tried to speak, but the tears wouldn’t allow me. I just looked at him.

"Thank you…" he told me. He held my hand and I felt something go through me. This little boy has changed my life.

"Please don’t die…Michael…I don’t want you to leave me," I said crying.

"I would never leave you Jon…I will find you in Heaven…" he said to me. I looked and saw a tear coming down his cheek. The only thing I remember is crying holding him.

I sat, a few days later, in the chair that I sat in the first day I met Michael. I sat there looking at the empty bed. I could picture him looking at me laughing at the jokes. I smiled to myself. I stood up after a while, still looking at the bed. "I will never say goodbye Michael…" I said out loud to myself.

I walked out of the room and shut the door and looked at the room number with the cross in the middle. I smile and thought to myself, "three plus four…seven" I said with a bigger smile on my face. Everyone has an angel watching them. I found my angel and he changed my life in a complete positive way. Michael reached into my soul and touched it with his hand and revived it.

I walked out of the hospital and walked into the parking lot and looked up and saw the cross at the top. I smiled and looked up into the clear sky. "See you later Michael," I said to him and walked towards my vehicle. He never left me, and he never will. He was my little angel. Can’t wait to see him in the place where he belongs.

Copyright 2007 Chase Merkley

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Comments (5)

Posted by tarhead 2007-12-01 00:41:14 this is a great story the complete opposite of your profile! i think it's good to not limit yourself... + Report this comment
Posted by Chase07 2008-01-30 20:18:53 .... Thanks man that means a lot...i changed my "About me" thanks to you...and you are right...limiting yourself is locking yourself in a room...you need to explore your creativeness and talent and take on the challenges...thanks again + Report this comment
Posted by Dirkin 2008-02-10 16:42:08 .... This story shows that you put a lot of thought into how the characters were feeling. I almost think this is inspired by some personal experiences of the author. Well done + Report this comment
Posted by AuThEnTiC 2008-04-26 19:21:28 .... Wow.... So this is your second story that put tears in my eyes.... Awwesome job...!!!! keep em' coming..!! + Report this comment
Posted by Xena 2008-04-27 02:27:06 omg tears, tears*you sure have the feminine touch + Report this comment

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