Report a comment Thank you for taking the time to report the following comment to the administrator of this site. Please complete this short form and click the submit button to process your report. Name   E-mail   Reason for reporting comment       Comment in question Posted by cookingWine 03-17-2008 21:30,   ... om the story.  I don't think it's sad in the least. It's fucking creepy and uplifting, which is a strange buffet of emotion to get.    My favorite aspect was the ending.  All the stories on here leave me feeling like I know too much, or rarely know too little.  With this, I know just enough to be content. I can't really stress how big this story was in that regard.    Very strong sentences that establish a very strong, OVERRIDING (important) tone. You could have sent them to hell and it would have been okay with the serenity presented.    For clean up:  Lose some sentences. Don't gain any to replace them. Think of it this way.  "It was her body, which cracked. She leaped from the cliff in such an awkward moment.    There was no warning, there was no crying, she just flew off into the sky."    As an introductory sentence, that is strong. The second sentence felt weaker to me, but definitely worked. We know she jumped. You don't need to tell us at the end that she's dead.Just a minor touch up.   » Report this comment to administrator »    »  Go back to the story