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03-08-2008 20:02,
You're too funny. I'm not going to be rude, of course people don't expect bad criticism on their stories, but I appreciated it. Your advice is really helpful, I should've read this out loud sooner, it seems to cheesy now. Eventually I'll change it, but it was one of my older pieces I dug up. Thank you though, don't think you're being rude, you're being very honest.