Days of End (Mans past...Mans future ), Chapter 3 Trickles of light filtered in through the... Don't put me in the same box Religious fanatic that's what they...

Report a comment Thank you for taking the time to report the following comment to the administrator of this site. Please complete this short form and click the submit button to process your report. Name   E-mail   Reason for reporting comment       Comment in question Posted by cookingWine 03-07-2008 08:56,   ... That was remarkable.     The "Nice tie" line is so perfect. That was the puzzle piece that made it really click for me. Good beginning and it followed through.    You have a very strong command of language, and at parts, I wish it was finer tuned to help it read like a brick path instead of a dirt road with rocks just barely big enough to hurt through your shoe.    Great transition between an overly descriptive writers gaze at the world, to a fantasy-breaking order from a boss.    There were so many good elements, and I'm struggling to find a bad one. This is the kind of story that has the depth and potential to keep going.    The dialog was very well timed and entirely realistic, which is tough and commendable.    The adjectives were never beaten to death. I care about the plight of this guy after his decision. You open me up feeling good with the intro, and quickly drop me down, without waiting until the last paragraph to do it so I get to simmer.  Cheers. Keep on keeping on.   » Report this comment to administrator   »  Go back to the story