Report a comment Thank you for taking the time to report the following comment to the administrator of this site. Please complete this short form and click the submit button to process your report. Name   E-mail   Reason for reporting comment       Comment in question Posted by psYchic_spOnge 01-12-2008 20:35,   ... this is the first short story thats given me a boner...  jk but seriously....this was pretty good. It flowed really well and held my interest til the end. I feel like alot of the action was too condensed though, especially in the first paragraph.     one other thing that bothered me a little was that Alliel took the shape of the kids because "He let his defenses drop at the sight of small boys.” but earlier you made it apparent that vladmir knew it was alliel he was fighting. "He hated Alliel." i would try to avoid inconsistencies like that in future stories (which I would be very interested in reading btw).    the ending was totally unexpected and very good. I was wondering how he managed to escape the nuclear pulse rocket though.  the technology was all very original and imaginative. keep it up   » Report this comment to administrator   »  Go back to the story