Report a comment Thank you for taking the time to report the following comment to the administrator of this site. Please complete this short form and click the submit button to process your report. Name   E-mail   Reason for reporting comment       Comment in question Posted by DarcKnyt 09-16-2008 10:59,   ... There seemed to be problems with the time frames involved with this piece. In one section, you say the wife hit the third trimester of pregnancy ... months seven, eight and nine. In describing the detective's shock, you said she was almost six months along. Also, you said the 9-1-1 recording only captured the baby-sitter's whimpers, but you said no cries from the baby. The baby was in utero, and CAN'T cry yet.    I agree with a previous commentor that this is very much like the movie "Se7en" but that's not a bad thing.    It's an intriguing set-up. I'm not clear based on what you've written on how long you want this to go, but if this is a long piece, then this opening might be considered an information dump, so be careful with that.    Keep up the good work! :)   » Report this comment to administrator   »  Go back to the story