Report a comment Thank you for taking the time to report the following comment to the administrator of this site. Please complete this short form and click the submit button to process your report. Name   E-mail   Reason for reporting comment       Comment in question Posted by JJtyler 07-21-2008 10:28,   ... "My stomach drops a hands width within me and I feel my manhood shrivel to nothing through the force of my fear upon hearing this."--this is clunky and doesn't feel natural. Wouldn't actually hear someone else say this. It sounds like someone trying to write something too hard, and not a part of the story.     That's one example. Again, I enjoyed this story, and it this seems like nik picking, then it probably is.     Good luck again.   » Report this comment to administrator   »  Go back to the story