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07-19-2008 03:50,
Nice short story, it's fast paced which is good. It's how a vampire story should be. It was good how you described the kill, 'He growled and he bit down into her neck. Like a dog, he ripped into her tendons, taking much ecstasy in his meal'
What you've creted can sometimes be hard.
*I think the last part kind of ruined it for me; why did she have to get pregnant?
I think this could be very good, just needs alittle bit more to the story. Maybe you could build upon the vampire?