Report a comment Thank you for taking the time to report the following comment to the administrator of this site. Please complete this short form and click the submit button to process your report. Name   E-mail   Reason for reporting comment       Comment in question Posted by elenalda 07-08-2008 21:49,   ... The error I saw was "alluminates"--should be "illuminates". I figured there might have been more that I missed ("uncontrollable" vs "uncontrollably"). Some other specifics about mechanics include, amusingly enough in light of r.e. potter's recent outburst, hyphen problems. You have words serving as modifiers of nouns that ought to be hyphenated but aren't (they should be: "chocolate-covered hands", "flower-patterned dress,"). That's the main grammar issue, but you also need few commas for clarity and...something else. Maybe it was a semicolon. Don't remember.     But I stick to what I said--this has potential to be such a rad, amazing story and just needs work. The more ambitious and complicated, the more work, though it always leads to superior pieces.   » Report this comment to administrator   »  Go back to the story