Report a comment Thank you for taking the time to report the following comment to the administrator of this site. Please complete this short form and click the submit button to process your report. Name   E-mail   Reason for reporting comment       Comment in question Posted by resistanceisfreedom 06-04-2008 19:41,   ... i really couldn't agree more with lemon on this.....  i just was so lost in all of the things that you threw out into this chapter. there was way too much going on and i just lost myself through. i did read the whole thing but when i finished i couldn't put together what i just had read. it looks as though this story has potential but i just don't think you went about the best way presenting it in this first chapter. seriously, i think you should really cut down on all the stuff you are trying to fit into this first chapter. but again, that's just my opinion.   » Report this comment to administrator   »  Go back to the story