The Peacock Case When the train doors opened, a blast of sticky air... From Stagnant Water The rain had finally stopped. After two days of...

Report a comment Thank you for taking the time to report the following comment to the administrator of this site. Please complete this short form and click the submit button to process your report. Name   E-mail   Reason for reporting comment       Comment in question Posted by CELL 05-06-2008 11:42,   Really liked it! Ha, ya, pretty deranged for an eight  year old kid, but eh, I liked this very much.   The cutting her up into smaller pieces seemed  way out of place to me... and I really didn't   think you would take it so far as to make the  boy self-inflict an injury at the end, but you didn't  limit yourself (that's good), and  I guess this is just how your humor rolls... I would  have drawn the line at making her seem drunk (that  was good, ha).    This was adorably funny to me:    "'She’s a Miss,' I say aloud as I dig with my one good hand, 'that means she doesn’t have a husband. If she doesn’t have a husband then she can’t have any/a family!'"    Even if this was kept a bit more "G" (because technically it should have been [it's a humor piece and your main character is an 8-year old child] but nowadays, I understand that people are creating new trends) it would have been just as great. This was very well written as well! Thought you did a good job with imagery and similes.   » Report this comment to administrator   »  Go back to the story