Ripples Ripples Ripples of faded... Winning The Frog Lottery Her car, out of gas once again; slides to a stop in...

Report a comment Thank you for taking the time to report the following comment to the administrator of this site. Please complete this short form and click the submit button to process your report. Name   E-mail   Reason for reporting comment       Comment in question Posted by The_Gimp 05-03-2008 07:13,   ... Yeah I feel the same, at first there was simply too much description for catching the interest of someone just browsing. But the rest was cool once the Dictator came in. I would suggest expanding the story and the action a little more and cutting some useless descriptions at the beginning. Then it would be perfect for a short story, if not, expand it and make it a few pagers, wrap it up in christmas gift paper and ring me back, I want to read that! ;)    Very nice setting, feel and idea. Cheers mate!   » Report this comment to administrator   »  Go back to the story