A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home now Mother of Six?"

His wife, finally fed up with her husband, shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"

what did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

wiped his ass

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what sexual position produces the ugliest children?

ASK YOUR MOTHER!!!

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if your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you what have you done wrong?

made her chain too long

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, but the hard part is getting them in the lightbulb

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how does every ethnic joke start?

by looking over your shoulder

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whats the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

there are skid marks in front of the dog

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whats got two legs and bleeds?

half a dog...

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hmm...i may have went a little overboard with the jokes...

really overboard

How many punks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Punks never change anything.

How many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
4. One to drop it and three to pick it up, pick it up, pick it up.

For the last month, all the stories ive been reading have been fantastic on this site. There are so many great story tellers on here its amazing the talent......


see...I can tell a good joke too...gimme a break.

If your short story didn't take you at least a month to write...please inform me up front before I waste my time. I see more stories on here that get posted that have no more than an hour time to it. No one on this site is that good..im excluding poems..to produce a great story in that time. Stories need to be edited, re-edited, over and over till its perfect the way you want them. Why sit down and write dumb stories.. well,, that our just plain stupid. The Davinci Code took more then three years to write. I know thats a novel, but he reserched and took his time to give us the best he could....and everyone on this site should consider doing just that.

hey alfred, do us all a favor and **** off will ya?

ahh..I guess you figure it out that you were one of those i was talking about. Lets see, in the month of may alone, you posted 13 stories...that's popping out a story every 2 days. Do you ever lay in bed and think about what you can change or do to make a story better...I thought so. Sit down and just write..just like a toaster...a few minutes pass and another great story from the punk pops out. Need I say more.