Ah, 1800, so you've come...

Though if I were you I'd make ravenous, rifle-gripping comedians my army.

Hmm... now that I think of it... we should form an alliance! Yes! All of the Great Powers did it.

We'd be unstoppable!

Every single time two foes square off and one tells the other, "Join me; we would be unstoppable!" The sayer of the line is killed.

To break cliche, I will agree to your terms. Together we shall conquer!

only to be destroyed by a brown dwarf...

two birds with one battle axe!

you forgot that saying about the battlefield being littered by the scattered bones of the armies of the victor - who upon resting were destroyed...

*sleeps with one eye open...

Very well.
*grabs AK and pulls cocking lever*
Shall we have another Kings' crusade, Richard?

Yahaira, as much as I am glad to have a helpful female in this fight against egotistical testosterone...there is only room for one princess in this palace. Alliance, dwarfs, kings, crusades, none of it changes the fact that I am the true ruler of this kingdom. So all you you can either play chess on the floor nicely or get off my carpet!

All hail Princess Lori

richard is long gone! replaced by his second cousin iggy. and i must mention that it is not testosteration that drives, nor is it a real castle in which you reside!

it is a grass hut! an illusion created by iggy's magician verlim!

smell the cattle?

go ahead try - take a deep breath!

yes! you smell it!! i know you do!

overnight, i went to the local butcher and bought a medium shire's worth of steaks. that's right, they said it couldn't be done, but i have steaked out my property!

in the name of

sir tarhead of mugwump!!

Originally i was born in england and my father says i'm a distant relation of royalty so i'm taking the crown and besides it would look so much better on me.