Short Stories | Storiesville.com - Sara (LadyLightning)

Day 1 To whom it may concern: That...

IF THE SUN DIDN'T RISE BY JON STALK...

Sara (LadyLightning) Profile Page

Hits	607
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	10/26/2007
Last Online	09/07/2008
Connections	1
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Website/Blog:	whispers.sosblog.com
About Myself:	There isn't much to say about myself. The reason why I write has a lot to do with that. My life is so boring that I write to create a more fascinating world for me to live in.

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Jun 17, 2008	I Thought of You Today	Poetry	133
May 30, 2008	what qualifies a child?	Poetry	76
May 30, 2008	the play	Poetry	72
Apr 25, 2008	Sanity	Miscellaneous Stories	177

Comments

Total number of comments: 9

Title article: The Piano And Her
Date: 2008-08-31 17:06:57

Simply poignant.
I agree with resistanceisfreedom, there is no WAY that was too wordy. It was AMAZING. But like Harmattan said, I could almost WATCH it. You definitely shared the scene clearly. And you should definitely keep writing.

Title article: 2 Poems of Her
Date: 2008-08-31 16:56:25

When I first started writing poetry, I was really into rhyme, but then again, I was, like, twelve, so that's understandable. Now, rhyme needs to be really something to impress me. So I wasn't too fond of the first couple lines of "Passing Souls." But when I kept reading, I liked the rest(well, minus the rhyming anyway). The "i wallow in addicted misery" was VERY good. It was a very speaking line. The last two lines "Some souls must pass each other a few times on times eternal flight/before coming together just right" reminded me of a book I read. In case you're curious it's called "Criss-cross". It kind of had the same idea that you had at the end.
In both your poems, you do a great job of putting pictures in readers' heads, but you do it especially well in the second one.

Title article: Something about confusion
Date: 2008-06-17 15:26:41

Really love the first line and the last stanza. The first line seems so obvious when you say it that I can't believe someone hasn't said it before now.

Title article: Sanity
Date: 2008-05-08 09:41:41

question for you
Does anyone think that the narrator is TOO obsessed? Or does it work?

Title article: Procrastinator
Date: 2008-05-08 09:25:42

I'm totally with on this one. I have senior paper due in four days. It's gotta be 20 pages, and right now...yeah. Not really there.

Title article: Sanity
Date: 2008-05-08 09:20:24

Thank you Dirkin!
I cannot STAND Di Caprio!

Title article: ...And She Dreams Of A Better Man....
Date: 2008-04-30 09:43:21

beautiful.

Title article: Why I Don't Write Romance
Date: 2008-04-30 09:16:06

nice.
I read this at school. In the library. And I laughed out loud.
That was great. The 'not again' thing makes it even more messed up. Really loved this. Best romance I've read in forever.

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