Pretty Fly for a Russian Guy

Hans Goober jogged the four and a half miles to the...

There Is No Me Without You

You're all I think about, Watching you...
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) Profile Page
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)
Hits 12246
Online Status ONLINE
Member Since 10/04/2007
Last Online 09/07/2008
Connections 90
Avg Profile Rating
 
About Myself: Oh I'm so glad you're here! I am in some deep shit, man. Can you help? Please?

Well .... what did I do? Where do I start? I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown. Uh ... some homeless people, maybe five or ten. Um ... a NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man -- uh ... some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh ... someone else there I can't remember, maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face. His body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe twenty people, maybe forty. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh ... some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um ... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy.

So, do you think you can help me out? I don't know what to do. You don't think I'm crazy, do you? You're not judging me like the rest of them do, are you? Please? We can be friends ... I promise. No, I don't want to get you drunk ... but uh ... that's a nice Chardonnay you're not drinking. Well, just think this over for a bit, okay? I really hope you decide to help me out. I don't know who else to turn to. You're my last chance.

Now, if you'll excuse me ... I have to return some videotapes.

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Sep 5, 2008Jericho, Chapter 13Miscellaneous Stories 54
Sep 4, 2008Jericho, Chapter 12Miscellaneous Stories 95
Sep 2, 2008Jericho, Chapter 11Miscellaneous Stories 86
Sep 1, 2008Jericho, Chapter 10Miscellaneous Stories 228
Aug 30, 2008Jericho, Chapter 9Miscellaneous Stories 124
Aug 27, 2008Pretty Fly for a Russian GuyHumor 739
Aug 26, 2008Jericho, Chapter 8Miscellaneous Stories 131
Aug 25, 2008Trained to KillPoetry 131
Aug 25, 2008Jericho, Chapter 7Miscellaneous Stories 130
Aug 22, 2008Jericho, Chapter 6Miscellaneous Stories 156
Aug 19, 2008Jericho, Chapter 5Miscellaneous Stories 152
Aug 16, 2008Jericho, Chapter 4Miscellaneous Stories 150
Aug 14, 2008Jericho, Chapter 3Miscellaneous Stories 174
Aug 13, 2008Suburban HellMystery 258
Aug 13, 2008Jericho, Chapter 2Miscellaneous Stories 197
Aug 12, 2008Panhandling ScumPoetry 153
Aug 12, 2008Jericho, Chapter 1Miscellaneous Stories 351
Aug 11, 2008Tears from a Burnt CigarPoetry 177
Aug 11, 2008Jericho, Chapter 0Miscellaneous Stories 411
Aug 10, 2008The Book CellarHorror 505
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Comments

Total number of comments: 1215

Title article: Tip the Option
Date: 2008-09-07 03:07:28
Tip the Option
Loved the descriptions. Great piece of flash fiction. My sister in law is a waitress and she got pissed at me when she told me that you should tip buffet servers and i laughed in her face. Anyways ... this goes to show that being nice can bite you right on the ass ... or on the face.  
 
Funny story you have here. I want more.

Title article: Room 1135
Date: 2008-09-06 19:31:23

Whoa ... i never noticed that before. Pretty cool.

Title article: The Lighthouse
Date: 2008-09-06 18:54:57
The Lighthouse
That is just bloody cool looking. That has to be one of the best image Poems I've read on here. It also helps that the Poem is actually good! It's really cool how the light shining away from the lighthouse looks. 
 
I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD 
 
Cheers!

Title article: is this poetry
Date: 2008-09-06 17:59:12
I liked it
I'd work on the flow a little bit, maybe find less words to get your point across?  
 
Other than that, though, I really enjoyed this Poem. You might wanna find a different name for it though, but that's just my opinion. Loved the message in this .. such hatred! your emotions were there with ease ... great job. 
 
Cheers!

Title article: Rage
Date: 2008-09-06 17:31:25
Rage
Short, great, and to the point. Excellent.  
 
I really liked this Poem, very easy to visualize and it deals with a very relatable topic. I think you did an awesome job with your wording choice. 
 
Really great job. 
 
Cheers!

Title article: Through Open Eyes
Date: 2008-09-06 13:14:10
Through Open Eyes
There isn't many Poems that I've read that I could actually call it a thriller, but this is one of those exceptions. This was really suspensful. Like a Poetic rollercoaster without any breaks. Awesome verse indeed. The very first line has the most meaning to me, though. I don't know why, but it just hit me hard. There's somthin' about that. I dunno, maybe it'll come to me later on. 
 
Cheers!

Title article: HORROR
Date: 2008-09-05 22:21:38
HORROR
Some people do not like being compared to a song, but please do not take this the wrong way when i say it: this song could easily have been written by Bad Religion. It was excellent, man. Simply excellent. I loved it. 
 
Cheers!

Title article: Those Hills
Date: 2008-09-05 22:19:07
Those Hills
Wow! You can really throw down on some Poetry, can't you? This was awesome, man. Loved the flow and I have to say this is just really good! There is one word that could describe this poem, though. 
 
Beautiful.

Title article: Things aren't always as they appear
Date: 2008-09-05 21:00:09
Things aren't always as they appear
Kind of strange that he's her boyfriend but they've never met in person, dontcha think? Or did i miss something? 
 
Yeah, I think you're hidden message behind this was great. It's very true. Do not I Repeat DO NOT trust those hooligans ... nothing but trouble comes from them. 
 
I liked this story, but I felt something was missing, as if you ended it too abruptly, you know? Since it's non fiction I guess it's okay, but I bet you could turn this into a really kickass horror story about a stalker. Think about it now, so many possibilities! You could really make a true thriller/horror story out of it.  
 
That kid from Indiana ... it really could have been anyone. ANYONE!!! Beware! Beware of the children from the corn! BEWWWAAAAAAARRRREEE!

Title article: Sometimes It Still Hurts
Date: 2008-09-05 15:47:30
Oh my ...
This brought a tear to my eye ... I'm speachless.

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Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
09/07/2008 00:42:28Re:Funny ChatsOff-Topic32
09/06/2008 23:20:17Funny ChatsOff-Topic32
09/06/2008 21:06:08Censoring ... are you serious?Off-Topic13
09/06/2008 14:10:23Re:Zombie Stories!Off-Topic2074
09/06/2008 13:46:20Re:Zombie Stories!Off-Topic2074
09/06/2008 13:38:39Re:Zombie Stories!Off-Topic2074
09/05/2008 16:07:06Re:Zombie Stories!Off-Topic2074
09/05/2008 15:24:05Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic249361
09/05/2008 15:10:38Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic249361
09/05/2008 15:05:24Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic249361

Connection

Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)'s connections

OFFLINE Dez (gorgeous_chik7)
OFFLINE AJ Morgan (AJ Morgan)
OFFLINE Helen Moore (HelentheCelt)
OFFLINE Fleet Hepburn (FleetHepburn)
OFFLINE Darrin M. Bouley (darrinbouley)
OFFLINE Johnny L (aquatictenenbaum)
OFFLINE Andy Claydon (Andy6)
OFFLINE Lisa (antheerr)
OFFLINE Lori Branson (lorislittlesecret)
OFFLINE Walter Cromartie (wcromart03)
 
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Guestbook


Name Entry
Jason Haugh (Something Indecent)

 Created On: 09/07/2008 03:15:21
Lol! Dumpster Baby huh? I can already tell it's going to be a smash hit. Highschools are going to start playing it at prom. Parents will be unloading their children into dumpsters as per the current fashion trend. This could be HUGE!!! Naw but seriously that's cool. Good luck with it. Writing songs piss me off. Playing songs that I wrote when they're finished make me happy. Why did I just write that?

Well I don't want to take away your daily beverage so I guess that we'll just have to take each other's word for it that neither one of us is on drugs. I mean I'm about to be but it hasn't happened yet.

Jason Haugh (Something Indecent)

 Created On: 09/07/2008 02:09:02
Edited By Jason Haugh (Something Indecent) On: 09/07/2008 02:12:34
Am I on drugs or are you? I'm confused! Maybe we both are. Or maybe neither one of us is. Hhhhmmmmm maybe we should mail each other urine samples. That wouldn't be weird now would it? I didn't think so.
Jason Haugh (Something Indecent)

 Created On: 09/07/2008 01:51:54
lol I think somebody's been reading too many chats. I'm starting to get worried. What's your temperature. How many fingers am I holding up? Can you hear my voice? Because you shouldn't. Go drink some water. But don't intake any fluids. Wait a minute......you didn't kill this baby did you? Uh oh........
Jason Haugh (Something Indecent)

 Created On: 09/07/2008 01:31:43
Yeah.............this time. Thanks for the digital services Booth.
Jason Haugh (Something Indecent)

 Created On: 09/07/2008 01:13:18
Well I got the e-mail but what I need is the prologue. I can open attachments here so if you could just copy and paste the e-mail that it would be apppreciated. Soooooo go do that.

P.S. I'm making waffles.
Jason Haugh (Something Indecent)

 Created On: 09/07/2008 00:33:23
lol that was pretty hilarious! This shit makes me want to never chat again. Which, I guess I haven't in years. Guestbooking doesn't count does it? Anyway I just checked my e-mail and I can't open the prologue for Project 30. You should e-mail to me at kerouacsack@yahoo.com so I can prepare. Otherwise allmine just might have me catch leprosy.
Jason Haugh (Something Indecent)

 Created On: 09/07/2008 00:21:40
Yeah I'm using it right now. Damn I'm stupid.

Jason Haugh (Something Indecent)

 Created On: 09/07/2008 00:15:14
Yeah I just need to do a spell check on it so I don't look ignorant. The one on this site doesn't work here for some reason. Stupid words and their stupid diputs ffuts.
Jason Haugh (Something Indecent)

 Created On: 09/07/2008 00:06:20
Oh yeah I forgot to tell you. Jesus has risen. And he wants his royalties for the Bible. Man court tv is going to be interesting this month!
Jason Haugh (Something Indecent)

 Created On: 09/06/2008 23:49:18
Yeah it seems like a pretty badass site. I've been typing out this new story and I swear to God I've typed it over three times. I wish I could save shit here at work. But then again the boss could end up reading them.......and find out just how 'normal' I really am. Hhhmmmm he might start wearing gloves to work.

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Pictures

Picture/Images uploaded by the member


Xander #4



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probe, any...



 
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Favorites

Total number of favourites: 18

Title 
»  A Good Day for a Bad Mistake
»  Pugswallow, Guardian Of The Realm
»  Frantic, Chapter 4
»  Frantic, Chapter 3
»  Frantic, Chapter 2
»  The Day After Betty (A Rude Awakening)
»  Dear Dr. Boring Me...
»  Frantic, Chapter 1
»  The Cure for Insomnia
»  Zombies

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