The Beast and the Wicked Witch

tale as old as time true as it can be She...

Rooted Blue

I think I liked you better when you were...

Jeremy (jcox21) Profile Page
Jeremy (jcox21)
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Last Online 05/15/2008
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Total number of comments: 2

Title article: The Little Fisherman
Date: 2007-08-09 09:07:32

Too short, but it did make me laugh and that was the point.

Title article: The Key Hole
Date: 2007-08-09 08:42:36

I have little doubt that you have potential as a writer after reviewing this work. I enjoyed several of your comparisons and descriptions, and I like your title a lot. As for the stuff I didn't like, first of all it was too short - only about a grand in my word count. Use your imagination and triple that number at least. I know it's a short story, but you shoot out the information about the history of the room too fast. And it is kind of tough to follow, the other comments were right about that. Read it over again several times and comb through it with as much of a first time readers perspective as you can. Maybe put the story away for a week or two and look at it with fresh eyes. My main advice is to work with the theme and make it more interesting because the bad/evil/mysterious hotel bit has been used many times. Personally I would make the main character special in some way, perhaps in his abilities or profession. You could do anything with it of course. Maybe he's an investigative priest sent from the Vatican who knows. Good luck and keep at it.

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